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The Braves, you jackass! They are the defending world champion!!!
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The Marlins, you halfwit! They're young, and we're old! We haven't even seen them yet! They've got the book on us and we're just trusting advance scouts to throw one together?!!! Who the hell is Bryan de la Cruz anyhow?!!! What is a 'Cody Poteet'???!!!!
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The Nationals, you ignorant clump of dirt! They have the best player in the division!! He's only 23 and he never gets hurt!!! He reached base over 300 times last season!! He slugged .695 the year before!! All who look upon him shall perish!!!!
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The Phillies, you mindless bootscraping! They stole a seven-game lead from us with 17 to go back in 2007, and you can never trust them in your rearview mirror!!! NEVER!!!
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