Piss Missile Pete

[A Boy Named Seo]

Hey guys, I feel like you should know about this mystery I just mostly solved. After Pete hit that bomb last night, my gf starting googling him on her phone, and she reported to me that he had not one, but two nicknames listed on Wikipedia - the Polar Bear, and get this.... Piss Missile Pete! I was excited to tell you guys this incredible news, but I lazily didn't want to type this post on my phone last night so I waited til today.



But I looked just now and... Dun Dun DUNNNNN..... someone has edited his page and Piss Missile Pete is no more! There's about 20 edits to his page from yesterday alone, so someone added it and someone else quickly yanked it! Google searches for "Piss Missile Pete" yield only 3 hits, two of them are this dude:



Tweet 1:

Tweet 2:

The third is this guy on Reddit:

The only remaining questions are:



1) Are the twitter guy and reddit guy the same guy?



2) Why has Piss Missile Pete not caught on? It's clearly better than Polar Bear.



3) Is this person or persons one of us???





PS - there will now be 4 hits on Google.

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

I don;t even know why they call him Polar Bear.



Why do they call him Polar Bear?

[A Boy Named Seo]

Polar Bear sounds like a gay dude classification. It may be.

[dgwphotography]

Johnny Lunchbucket wrote: I don;t even know why they call him Polar Bear. Why do they call him Polar Bear?

Look at his build - sloping shoulders, but as strong as a bear.



I saw Piss Missile Pete this morning in a google search of him. It was also a snapshot of his Wikipedia entry.

[Ceetar]

Johnny Lunchbucket wrote: I don;t even know why they call him Polar Bear. Why do they call him Polar Bear?

do they actually call them that?



I thought Gary was just being weird when he called it a Polar Bear Plunge last night.

[whippoorwill]

Edit it back into the Wiki page!

[batmagadanleadoff]

I read about a week ago that some of his teammates had nicknamed Alonso '"Polar Bear ".

[Frayed Knot]

Johnny Lunchbucket wrote: I don;t even know why they call him Polar Bear. Why do they call him Polar Bear?

Duh, because he's a Spaniard from Florida!!

[TransMonk]

I'm pretty sure I've found my next band's name.

[A Boy Named Seo]

=TransMonk post_id=7131 time=1555098298 user_id=71]
I'm pretty sure I've found my next band's name.

[Edgy MD]

Was it Alonso whose draft-day photo seemed to feature him going commando, with his baseball pants outlining his junk in detail?

[A Boy Named Seo]

Maybe his junk is the real Piss Missile Peter. Maybe that's why he's going by Pete now, cause the name was already taken.

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

Edgy MD wrote: Was it Alonso whose draft-day photo seemed to feature him going commando, with his baseball pants outlining his junk in detail?

Oh I think it was

[Edgy MD]

¡Aye fucking caramba!



https://c6.staticflickr.com/8/7346/26969381453_46fcf5b9ff_z.jpg>

Johnny Lunchbucket wrote: Mets on Peter Alonso: "He may be a one-tool player, but it's really a tremendous tool."

[Lefty Specialist]

That's an extra-large cup.

[Willets Point]

He's got Big Dick Energy.

[Edgy MD]

"Hi, I'm Pete Alonso for Big Dick Energy Drink. If you want the energy of a big dick in a 7 ounce bottle, try Big Dick. You'll feel like a new man walking around with a Big Dick in you."



"Big Dick Energy Drink. If it lasts more than four hours, call a doctor."

[Fman99]

Edgy MD wrote: ¡Aye fucking caramba! https://c6.staticflickr.com/8/7346/26969381453_46fcf5b9ff_z.jpg> Johnny Lunchbucket wrote: Mets on Peter Alonso: "He may be a one-tool player, but it's really a tremendous tool."

Well coaches do tell infielders to stay low. That qualifies.

[LWFS]

It's no wonder his fielding is a bit questionable. I'd be shocked if there weren't any... catching difficulties with this one.

[Methead]

Have you not heard "Big Meat Pete" yet or are you all willfully ignoring it?

[Edgy MD]

"Bozack Bear"

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

Have you not heard "Big Meat Pete" yet or are you all willfully ignoring it?

Loloolll. That's it

[Edgy MD]

All the night without a Crane Pool, all through that Sucker Sunday loss last night, I was thinking about this photo.



Here's the nickname we're all missing: "Pete LaCock."

[dgwphotography]

Edgy MD wrote: All the night without a Crane Pool, all through that Sucker Sunday loss last night, I was thinking about this photo. Here's the nickname we're all missing: "Pete LaCock."

"I'll take Paul Lynde for the block"

[batmagadanleadoff]

Edgy MD wrote: All the night without a Crane Pool, all through that Sucker Sunday loss last night, I was thinking about this photo. Here's the nickname we're all missing: "Pete LaCock."

Holy mother of mercy. That is good.

[Fman99]

I can tell you that this is the only nickname we are using at the Fman household.

[Fman99]

Great minds...