Child Abuse

[Fman99]

Fboy attends his first Tee ball team practice today. He's been assigned to the Yankees.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Yeccch.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Does he plan to tape a little "MF" on there in front? Or will he just close his eyes and think of England?

[MFS62]

He's too young to be a holdout.
Find another league.


Later

[Fman99]

MFS62 wrote: He's too young to be a holdout. Find another league. Later

It's geographic, based on our address. Plus two other kids on our block (one is the coach's son) are also going to be on the team.

Hopefully the hats and shirts are real nondescript.

[metirish]

Move to Washington DC man.

More to the point, what does Fboy think?

[Guest holychicken]

And you didn't disown him on the spot?

That's terrible parenting right there. I expected more from you.

[HahnSolo]

After representing the Mets (in black shirts and hats, yuk) in T-Ball 5 last year, little Solo has been assigned to the Dodgers for T-6. Generic blue shirt, blue hat uniform.

As a coach, I have feared the day that we get assigned to teh Yankees. Hasn't happened yet, but we have a lot of years to come.

[Centerfield]

What FMan is not telling you is that FBoy was relegated to the Junior Yankees based upon his criminal record and suspicion of PEDs.

On the plus side, I hear FBoy is now handsomely paid...

[Benjamin Grimm]

I can remember the names of four of my Little League teams. (Maybe that's all of them; I don't remember how many seasons I played.) I was on the Browns (in T-ball the teams were named after NFL teams), the Cubs, the Mohawks (that was an Indian tribe year; no longer politically correct, I'm sure), and the Athletics. We won a trophy the year I was on the Mohawks. Back then you had to actually win a championship to get a trophy; they didn't give them out for participation.

As a Little League manager, I had the Mets my first year as a non-parent volunterr (in Smithtown) and then two years with corporate sponsored team names in Pennsylvania. In my current incarnation as a girls softball coach, I had the "Thunder" one year (Teams were named after local teams, regardless of the sport the namesake team played. There were Flyers and Sixers and Eagles and Phillies, too.) Last year and this year the kids get to pick the team names. Last year we were the Wildcats. (My daughter was terrified that we'd be the Phillies once she saw that we had red uniforms. She influenced the vote by persuading one of the girls who didn't care to vote Wildcats. It ended up being a very close vote.) This year, we have to name the team after an animal species. When we get our uniform colors, we'll try to pick the name of an animal that goes with that color.

[Guest Edgy DC]

In Pee-Wees (what youse call tee-ball), we were the Celtics. That league had a "Mets," but no Yankees, and that was just glorious.

In Minors, for three years, we were Halperin Shoes. We went from 2-14, to 8-8, to 14-2. That's what happens when your better players stick around for three years and never show up to tryouts for the majors.

In prep league (13), we were Chemical Bank. Our theme song was:

We are Chemical!
C-H-Emical!

Think Devo.

The next year, in Babe Ruth, my manager was screaming jerk. He sat me all year while he screamed on the bench at the guys he did play. We went 6-2 the first half and 1-7 the second, but made it into a playoff round. I rotted on the bench and my skills went with my inactivity. I nonetheless managed a decent batting average and OBP in my limited appearances. When the manager skipped the playoff game for a trip to Florida, we surprisingly won when I pinch-hit a triple and scored in a cloud of dust on a sacrifice fly. I'm hero for a day, but jerk-o comes back from Florida and benches me in the championship series. We lose.

I don't even remember the name of my Babe Ruth team. My dad had been my manager every year up until then. I had seen assholes managing teams in the other dugouts and thought they were comical. Somehow I never appreciated how they could really make the sport miserable to play.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Edgy DC wrote: I had seen assholes managing teams in the other dugouts and thought they were comical. Somehow I never appreciated how they could really make the sport miserable to play.

That's one reason I've volunteered to manage. I've seen jerk coaches and non-jerk coaches, and I want to help tip the balance towards the non-jerks.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Played for Indians (Little League), A's (Senior League) and Raiders (middle-school/HS). Weirdly, I don't think there were Mets in the league at any level, so I kind of dissociated mentally from team allegiance.

The A's guy made me learn how to catch, with special "emphasis" (read: cursing through bristly mustache, and occasional hard forearm-shivs and chest punches in order to drum home certain points) on blocking pitches in the dirt, because his son-- the beefy regular catcher-- bitched about having to catch sharp breaking stuff; I started only when Denny Trelease-- threw a nasty curve and hard slider, blown elbow by 15-- pitched, and occasionally pinch-hit otherwise. Essentially, I was Doug Mirabelli, with an iffy glove.
Learning catcher got me a slot as a backup C/LF on competitive school teams... and gave me clicking, achy knees that persist to this day, and bug me on long car trips. Thanks for the "floating patella," Coach!

Edited April 6, 2010 by Guest

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

I played for the TILERS, named after a local sponsor, of course, but looking back it was admirable restraint that we never really knew which local tiling company since they didn't insist on cramming their brand into the brains of 6-year-olds.

Another team was the ELWOODS, which was a very cool name, also for a sponsor, I think the Elwood Chamber of Commerce. I believe Dan Ackroyd named his character after this team.

I didn't stay in organized LL long enough to get to the level where all the teams had MLB team monickers, but I know the Mets were associated with "yellow" -- I was on the "maroon" track and so I would have been destined for the Orioles, I think.

[Guest sharpie]

I played for Hilltop Toys, The Ivies (both sponsors) and I can't remember after that.

I coached the Falcons (twice), the Rhinos, the Jackals, the Titans and the Commies. These were all team-voted names. Most successful team was the Jackals, least was the Titans.

[Benjamin Grimm]

The Commies?

[Guest Edgy DC]

I want to party with you.

[Frayed Knot]

If I were running a LL I don't think I could justify the expense of paying for the registered trademarks of MLB just so you could use their nicknames - especially when half, if not more, of the kids aren't going to like the team they've been assigned to.

When I played they didn't have ML names and I don't recall anyone complaining about it. Instead, each level had a different 'theme'. One of the lower levels was all small furry animals; I was on the Beavers and you'd play the Bobcats and various other critters. At another level you'd move to birds: Wrens, Hawks, Falcons, etc.; then at another it was Indian tribes: Comanche, Kiowa, Mohawk, etc., and so on. Plus, you kind of knew in advance what team you were going to be on in the future because you tended to move up within your color. So if you, like me, were in Orange in the lower level you'd also be Orange at the middle and upper ones if you stuck it out.

[Frayed Knot]

The Commies?

That was at one of those socialist summer camps that Woody Allen was talking about to Carol Kane in the flashback scene in 'Annie Hall'

[ashie62]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Edgy DC wrote: I had seen assholes managing teams in the other dugouts and thought they were comical. Somehow I never appreciated how they could really make the sport miserable to play. That's one reason I've volunteered to manage. I've seen jerk coaches and non-jerk coaches, and I want to help tip the balance towards the non-jerks.

I fully support any attempt you make make to assume the command upon Wilpon's say so.

[DocTee]

Minors: Bobcats, Tigers
Major: Braves

Babe Ruth: Green Machine
High School: Cannons

Coaching: Astros, Athletics, and Black Magic (Girls softball)

[Guest sharpie]

It was my son, the former poster known as Lenny Harris, who suggested Commies. It was his last year when the kids get snarky and it is less fun to coach (although I liked this group). It got about 3 or 4 votes but that was more than any other of the shouted out names. They were pretty happy with the name, made them feel like they were all other team's enemies.

Kids on other teams also liked the name and sometimes cursed their team's lame names. Lenny really hated being on the Titans the year before for that reason.

[Valadius]

I remember one year we were the Firemen. My team won the league championship as Village National Bank. I got a trophy out of that.

[seawolf17]

Hey, I remember meeting Lenny at a CPF gathering a few years back.

My first team was the Cardinals, in both 1982 and 1983; the year after that, the Cubs. Then, when I was on the Twins in 1985, I became a Mets fan because the American League was too foreign to me.

[Fman99]

Fboy gets it -- he understands that in tee ball he's on the Yankees, and that it's OK to like his Yankees, but he can still be a Mets fan and all.

The kids were all wearing their own favorite hats and tee shirts, a lot of Red Sox fans, a few Braves fans and several kids in MFY apparel. Fboy wore his Mets hat to practice and represented. He was the only Mets fan wearing colors of the 22 kids there tonight.

It should be fine... I don't expect a fantastic amount of mental scarring from this. I'll deal with it.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Ooooh, check him out. Mr. Loves-His-Kid-More-Than-He-Hates-the-Yankees. What a dick.

[Willets Point]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: The Commies?

The team provided universal healthcare for all the kids.

[Willets Point]

Frayed Knot wrote: If I were running a LL I don't think I could justify the expense of paying for the registered trademarks of MLB just so you could use their nicknames - especially when half, if not more, of the kids aren't going to like the team they've been assigned to.

The use of MLB nicknames & logos seems so common and I do wonder why so many would actually pay for them. I always assumed that MLB dishes out some charitable money to little leagues and that was one of the provisions of accepting the money.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Really. They donate in kind to a non-profit --- by forsaking the licensing fees, if not underwriting the actual shirts and hats. Write it off, but get the promotion of recruiting fans among Little Leaguers.

[Willets Point]

Edgy DC wrote: Really. They donate in kind to a non-profit --- by forsaking the licensing fees, if not creating providing the actual shirts and hats. Write it off, but get the promotion of recruiting fans among Little Leaguers.

So I was kind of right? That donation/promotion thing was what I was imagining.