The guy with the baseball goatee, the goofy expression, and the Texaco attendant's cap is Chris Johnson, second-year third baseman for your Houston Astros. After a surprisingly productive rookie season (.308 batting average, 11 HRs in 341 ABs), he's off to a slow start this year, batting .185. Or maybe he's just a .185 hitter who got lucky last year. His BABIP for 2010 was a ridiculous .387. Bleacher Report states that he swung at 43.1% of pitches outside the strike zone, which means that Jeff Francoeur could give him a few lessons on improving his batting eye. He does have 3 HBPs this year, seventh in the NL, so he hits the ball with his body about as frequently as he hits it with the bat. No need to worry about this guy. Keep the ball off the plate and watch him swing. Next up, shortstop. And, yeah, what Grimm said about artificial quirks.