Schoolboy Sweethearts and Pole Dancers: Wifey Watch of 2016

[ashie62]

So who is the mystery pole dancer?

[Edgy MD]

With Jeff Walters off the roster for the last year, we haven't had much of an update on his lovely favorite date in his minor league years, Milani Beaudrealt. Well, they got married back in November, and last I heard, they seem to be doing... fine?

[Benjamin Grimm]

Those kinds of photo ops sometimes go horribly wrong. You won't see me posing with Milani Beaudrealt and a tiger any time soon!

[MFS62]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Those kinds of photo ops sometimes go horribly wrong. You won't see me posing with Milani Beaudrealt and a tiger any time soon!

Yes. You have to be like Steve Irwin to know how to be very careful with some species.
oh, wait!

Later

[Frayed Knot]

Ashie62 wrote: So who is the mystery pole dancer?

To be determined.
And there certainly will be at least one; these are athletes we're talking about after all.

[Guest cooby classic]

That tiger has its claws out



Edit: maybe not

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Congrats to the Walterses. No Mets in the wedding party.

[Edgy MD]

Doing WW research, some gossip site says Noah and Samantha Van Veen are no longer van dating, and a mystery woman (Hooter's waitress, if you must know) has entered the picture.

Might well explain her absence at this merry yuletide.



Anybody wanna go down the Google rabbit hole of Noah Syndergaard's romantic life, this thread needs you to be the hero.

[Lefty Specialist]

Well, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That.......

Hey Cespy, You need a roommate? I'm really clean but don't cook very well. #mymancrushisback!!! #bestfriendsforever

— Noah Syndergaard (@Noahsyndergaard) January 23, 2016

[Ceetar]

Edgy MD wrote: Anybody wanna go down the Google rabbit hole of Noah Syndergaard's romantic life, this thread needs you to be the hero.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Thor_(Marvel_Comics)_supporting_characters#Love_interests

Although Jane Foster is technically Thor now? So, uh, unravel that however you will.

[MFS62]

Lefty Specialist wrote: Well, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That....... Hey Cespy, You need a roommate? I'm really clean but don't cook very well. #mymancrushisback!!! #bestfriendsforever — Noah Syndergaard (@Noahsyndergaard) January 23, 2016

Daniel Murphy might tell you what's wrong with that.

Later

[seawolf17]

MFS62 wrote: Daniel Murphy might tell you what's wrong with that. Later

DANIEL MURPHY IS DEAD TO US NOW.

[Edgy MD]

Here's who we've got so far, among the big 25, anyhow. We're doing much better with the pitchers than the batters.

Updates with the minor leaguers to follow.

Position Group	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/paula-colon.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/stacey-harris-degrom.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/devon-windsor.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/taylor-cain.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/ellen-kramer.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Paula Colón	Stacey Harris deGrom	Devon Windsor	Taylor Cain	Ellen Kramer
Relationship	Bartolo Colón's Wife	Jacob deGrom's Missus	Matt Harvey's Girlfriend	Steven Matz's Girlfriend	Noah Syndergaard's Girlfriend
Position Group	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/maribel-bastardo.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/whitney-simmons-blevins.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/bianca-rivas.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-goeddel.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/cady-reed.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Maribel Bastardo	Whitney Simmons Blevins	Bianca Rivas	Unattached?	Cady Reed
DoB	Antonio Bastardo's Missus	Jerry Blevins' Missus	Jeurys Familia's Girlfriend	Erik Goeddel =#d1b48e].	Addison Reed's Missus
Position Group	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#008000] Catcher	=#008000] Catcher	=#8000FF] Infielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-morris.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/erin-verrett.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/britney-cobian.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/tayler-francel-plawecki-2.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/duda-lonely.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Unattached?	Erin Hunt Verrett	Britney Cobian	Tayler Francel Plawecki	Unattached
Relationship	Akeel Morris =#d1b48e].	Logan Verrett's Missus	Travis d'Arnaud's Girlfriend	Kevin Plawecki's Missus	Lucas Duda =#d1b48e].
Position Group	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-flores.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lismar-cabrera.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/tejada-mystery.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/niki-walker.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/molly-beers-wright.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Unattached?	Lismar Cabrera	Somebody Had That Baby	Niki Walker	Molly Beers Wright
Relationship	Wilmer Flores =#d1b48e].	Asdrubal Cabrera's Missus	Ruben Tejada =#d1b48e].	Neil Walker's Missus	David Wright's Missus
Position Group	=#0000FF] Outfielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-cespedes.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/heather-something.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/magda-de-aza-mystery.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/katie-north.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/mystery-lagares.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Son & His Mom In Cuba, but…	Heather Something	Magda de Aza	Katie North	Unknown
Relationship	Yoenis Cespedes =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e].	Michael Conforto's Last Known Girlfriend	Alejandro de Aza's Mysterywife =#d1b48e].	Curtis Granderson's Alleged Girlfriend	Juan Lagares' Mystery Wife

[Edgy MD]

Can't tell you anything about Mrs. Church (if she does indeed exist), but Mrs. Satterwhite will be sattermissed.

Transaction	Signed Away By Los Angeles (A)
Position Group	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/mallory-satterwhite.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Mallory Satterwhite
DoB	Cody Satterwhite's Missus

We saw little of Cody, but we've previously seen Mallory announcing a roster addition:

[fimg=500]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B__ZEfDWoAEWstz.jpg:large[/fimg]

....and playing the bridal part at boots-'n'-denim wedding.

I always like a family who is humbled enough by Daddy's spring training invite that they willingly make his obscenely high roster number part of their brand.

[Fman99]

I say this with all due respect, but what utter creepiness this thread is. The depths, really. It's got the disconcerting power of a hundred cock jokes.

[Edgy MD]

Xorge Carillo does St. Valentine's Day right.

[fimg=500]http://www.albat.com/__export/1455498392905/sites/debate/img/el_dugout/2016/02/14/propuestac.jpg_62460025.jpg[/fimg]

(Her name is apparently Marcella Carillo, so I guess she will soon be Marcela Carillo Carillo. We could start a new thread for redundantly named wives of Mets reserve catchers.)

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Congrats to preggy Stacy

[Lefty Specialist]

The 'Unattached' pictures are hilarious.

Boy, there's a lot of blonde hair in our starting rotation. And soon Paula Colon will be elbowed to the bullpen by another blonde.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

The 25-Wife roster is my favorite thing the CPF ever did I think

[MFS62]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: The 25-Wife roster is my favorite thing the CPF ever did I think

The CPF needs a page 6 sub-forum for threads on spouses, misses, near-misses, legal entanglements and celebrity stuff.

Later

[Guest themetfairy]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Congrats to preggy Stacy

I can't wait to see the head of hair on that baby!

[TransMonk]

I'll take 4/8 in the pool on when this baby comes.

[Frayed Knot]

So with another baby due around opening day we can look forward to another round of discussion about whether or not it's disloyal for the player to leave the team for the birth.

[Edgy MD]

It depends on the timing, but a starting pitcher who can be removed from the roster for three days is actually a benefit to the team, as they essentially take up space on their days between starts.

Don't tell Mike Francessa.

[Guest cooby classic]

Frayed Knot wrote: So with another baby due around opening day we can look forward to another round of discussion about whether or not it's disloyal for the player to leave the team for the birth.

Better then than playoffs time!

[Frayed Knot]

I just don't understand why they don't prohibit players from having sex in the off-season so as to keep from producing babies during the season.
Is there no discipline anymore? Workers' rights have gone too far!

[Benjamin Grimm]

That may be in the next CBA: unless using MLB-approved birth control methods, players can only have sex from February through June.

[Frayed Knot]

That actually sounds like something the NFL would do.
Coaches in football are forever ranting about wanting to rid their camps of "distractions", distractions in their minds being roughly defined as anything that prevents the players from playing football, practicing football, or working out and studying in preparation for practicing and playing football 24/7. And since each individual game is so much more critical to the season, the least the players can do is either not get their wives (or baby mommas) pregnant during a time that might cause an in-season birth or agree in advance in writing to have labor induced on a non-Sunday so as to not mess with the game schedule.

[Edgy MD]

Here's an update with the full roster and spring training invites included.

Some of these attachment may well have been passing or merely rumored. At least one strains credulity.

Projected 25-Wife Roster

Position Group	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/paula-colon.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/stacey-harris-degrom.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/devon-windsor.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/taylor-cain.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/ellen-kramer.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Paula Colón	Stacey Harris deGrom	Devon Windsor	Taylor Cain	Ellen Kramer
Relationship	Bartolo Colón's Missus	Jacob deGrom's Missus	Matt Harvey's Girlfriend	Steven Matz's Girlfriend	Noah Syndergaard's Girlfriend
Position Group	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/maribel-bastardo.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/whitney-simmons-blevins.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/bianca-rivas.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-goeddel.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/cady-reed.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Maribel Bastardo	Whitney Simmons Blevins	Bianca Rivas	Unattached?	Cady Reed
DoB	Antonio Bastardo's Missus	Jerry Blevins' Missus	Jeurys Familia's Girlfriend	Erik Goeddel =#d1b48e].	Addison Reed's Missus
Position Group	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#008000] Catcher	=#008000] Catcher	=#8000FF] Infielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-morris.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/erin-verrett.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/britney-cobian.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/tayler-francel-plawecki-2.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/duda-lonely.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Unattached?	Erin Hunt Verrett	Britney Cobian	Tayler Francel Plawecki	Unattached
Relationship	Akeel Morris =#d1b48e].	Logan Verrett's Missus	Travis d'Arnaud's Girlfriend	Kevin Plawecki's Missus	Lucas Duda =#d1b48e].
Position Group	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-flores.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lismar-cabrera.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/tejada-mystery.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/niki-walker.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/molly-beers-wright.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Unattached?	Lismar Cabrera	Somebody Had That Baby	Niki Walker	Molly Beers Wright
Relationship	Wilmer Flores =#d1b48e].	Asdrubal Cabrera's Missus	Ruben Tejada =#d1b48e].	Neil Walker's Missus	David Wright's Missus
Position Group	=#0000FF] Outfielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-cespedes.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/heather-something.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/magda-de-aza-mystery.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/katie-north.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/mystery-lagares.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Son & His Mom in Cuba, but…	Heather Something	Magda de Aza	Katie North	Unknown
Relationship	Yoenis Cespedes =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e].	Michael Conforto's Last-Known Girlfriend	Alejandro de Aza's Mysterywife =#d1b48e].	Curtis Granderson's Alleged Girlfriend	Juan Lagares' Mysterywife =#d1b48e].

Also on 40-Wife Roster

Position Group	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/kayleigh-mcenamy.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/mamas-boy.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/amanda-vogel.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-montero.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/dominique-rizzo.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Kayleigh McEnamy	No Known Attachments	Amanda Vogel	Unattached?	Dominique Rizzo
Relationship	Sean Gilmartin's Girlfriend	Robert Gsellman =#d1b48e].	Seth Lugo's Girlfriend	Rafael Montero =#d1b48e].	Zack Wheeler's Girlfriend
Position Group	Starting Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-ynoa.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-alvarez.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/cari-ellen-edgin.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-robles.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/nicole-smoker.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Dances With Himself?	Keeps It All on The Down-Low?	Cari-Ellen Edgin	Data Is Unclear	Nicole Smoker
Relationship	Gabriel Ynoa =#d1b48e].	Dario Alvarez =#d1b48e].	Josh Edgin's Missus	Hansel Robles =#d1b48e].	Josh Smoker's Missus
Position Group	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#0000FF] Outfielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/milani-beaudrault-walters.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-campbell.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-herrera.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/katie-moses1.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/chelsea-jane-bradley-2.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Milani Beaudrealt Walters	Lost and Lonely?	Searching For Someone Special	Katie Moses	Chelsea Jane Bradley
Relationship	Jeff Walters' Missus	Eric Campbell =#d1b48e].	Dilson Herrera =#d1b48e].	Matt Reynolds' Beach Date	Brandon Nimmo's Fiancé

Also Invited to Wifey Camp

Position Group	Starting Pitcher	Starting Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-below.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonley-pimentel.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-bradford.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/jessica-carlyle.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/henderson-mystery.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Married Only To The Game?	Always Him That Ends Up Getting Wet?	Loves Only His Country?	Jessica Carlyle	Myss Mys-tery
Relationship	Duane Below =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e].	Stolmy Pimentel =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e].	Chasen Bradford =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e].	Buddy Carlyle's Missus =#d1b48e]. =#d1b48e].	Jim Henderson's Unnamed Possibly Ex- Girlfriend
Position Group	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher	=#008000] Catcher	=#008000] Catcher	=#008000] Catcher
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/molly-hopcraft.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-thornton.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/ashley-ashley.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/marcela-carillo.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/gomez-mystery.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Molly Hopcraft	Waiting For The One?	Ashley Ashley	Marcela Carillo	Mystery Barbecue Girl
Relationship	Paul Sewald's Beach Date	Zach Thornton =#d1b48e].	Nevin Ashley's Missus	Xorge Carillo's Fiancé	Raywilly Gomez's Date?
Position Group	=#008000] Catcher	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder	=#8000FF] Infielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-monell.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/mystery-cecchini.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-kelly.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/kelcey-krauss.jpg[/fimg]	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/sophia-phalen.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Lonely- Assed Catcher?	Somebody Von Whats- herface?	Married... To Being Funny!	Kelcey Krauss	Sophia Phalen
Relationship	Johnny Monell =#d1b48e].	Gavin Cecchini's HS Girlfriend	Ty Kelly =#d1b48e].	Marc Krauss' Missus	Danny Muno's Girlfriend
Position Group	=#8000FF] Infielder		=#8000FF] Infielder		=#0000FF] Outfielder
	[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/ashton-blanchette-rivera.jpg[/fimg]		[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-smith.jpg[/fimg]		[fimg=90]https://metsinpeace.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/lonely-taijeron.jpg[/fimg]
Name	Ashton Blanchette Rivera		Swinging Single?		No Known Attachments
Relationship	T.J. Rivera's Wife		Dominic Smith =#d1b48e].		Travis Taijeron =#d1b48e].

[dgwphotography]

Mrs. Walters looks like she could be the new Mrs. Hoch's sister.