KTE Change Up - Know Your YLDB

[Fman99]

As much fun as it is to make light of the broadcasting non-prowess of Waldman and Kay, or make jokes about blowing Tom Tresh, or awful home run calls (don't worry, I will bring it all back in 2016), I thought it might make good hay to point out the enemy in our midst, as it were.

The Yankee Loving Douche Bags.

We have them in our lives. For better (not really) and for worse (almost entirely). But, like potato chips, each one is its own uniquely shaped and contoured brand of douchiness. And yet, also, like Pringles, they are all cut from the same douchetastic mold.

So let's start. I have a bunch of these, feel free to add your own (with illustrations, better yet), so that we might UNDERSTAND our enemy. And somehow, appreciate, no, CELEBRATE, their supreme doucheosity.

YLDB Fan Wearing Jersey With Last Name On It



Hey, buddy, their jerseys never had names on them. You know that, right?

YLDB Fan With Awful MFY Tat



Yeah, man, wow. That looks SUPER good.

YLDB Governors Who Close Bridges To Fuck With People And Looked Like Overstuffed Bratwurst in Charity Ballgames



Can you guys see my man-moosetoe?

YLDB Supermodels Who Didn't Realize They'd Get Anal Herpes and a Fruit Basket on the Same Weekend



Hey, after this, let's go throw eggs at A-Rod's car, OK?

YLDB Really Masculine Looking Women Who Date A-Rod



No, it's like I told you, I just like women with giant clits! I don't want the balls or anything, that'd be gay.

YLDB "27 Rings Guy"



Win your 25 more rings and then call me, OK, brah?

YLDB Fans Who Also Murder Millions of People



You traded Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps? What were you thinking?

Keep em coming, gang.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Guest

[Gwreck]

Technically, I believe Christie is actually a Met-loving douchebag.

The politician douchebag who is also a Yankee-fan douchebag is this guy:

[Benjamin Grimm]

Gwreck wrote: Technically, I believe Christie is actually a Met-loving douchebag.

Yes, he is. He's one of us. (I'm referring to the adjective, not the noun.)

[Lefty Specialist]

You know the type. By day, he's a counter clerk at AutoZone. He'll make sure you get the right wipers for your car and recommend that you rotate your tires more frequently.

But in the evening, rather than taking his steady girl Angie out for a nice little dinner at Applebee's, he squanders all his spare money to buy front-row bleacher seats, downs 4 or 5 $11 Bud Lights, and then he morphs into this guy:

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

This guy, who is already enraged that he was not included in your initial post!

It's not the rings. it's the cigar. Clearly he doesn't care about smoking laws. He doesn't care that his godawful smelly cigar annoys the hell out of people who paid waaaaay too much money to attend that game and sit in his section. And, he's flaunting those rings as if he, himself, did something to earn them.

I hate this guy.

[MFS62]

Primordial sludge from the bottom of the gene pool.
All of them.

Later

[HahnSolo]

You know the type. By day, he's a counter clerk at AutoZone. He'll make sure you get the right wipers for your car and recommend that you rotate your times more frequently. But in the evening, rather than taking his steady girl Angie out for a nice little dinner at Applebee's, he squanders all his spare money to buy front-row bleacher seats, downs 4 or 5 $11 Bud Lights, and then he morphs into this guy:

I still maintain that fat "Fuck you, fuck you" guy is the star of this gif.

[Guest d'Kong76]

I drank fifteen beers (count 'em 2, 3, 4)
And that's a whole lotta brew
When you're tryin' to erase a memory
From your mind (from your mind)

[Frayed Knot]

So dude, getting your money's worth out of those $600 seats?

[fimg=500:1w47hsi7]http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--xjBhr20A--/801312109885137839.jpg[/fimg:1w47hsi7]

Oh well, at least you lasted until the top of the 4th inning. Plus it's only the Red Sox so it's not like it's a meaningful game or anything.
Just wondering though, how many $11 Bud Lights did you down in the first three innings -- I mean, not counting the nips from your hip flask en route to the game as you took up 2 seats on the 4-train while making some elderly guy had to stand after a long day's work? Or could it be just an eating coma from four calzones you inhaled from Vinny's Roach Coach across the street so you could actually make the walk from the train platform all the way into the stadium?

But at least you took it well. Oh wait, no you didn't, you [u:1w47hsi7]sued ESPN for $10 million[/u:1w47hsi7] for having the audacity to show it and poke fun of you as they did. What, afraid it was going to hurt your job status? As if your position as the union chief's nephew doesn't allow you to sleep on the job on a regular basis anyway. Hope the neck wasn't too sore the next day. And, hey, you're still good looking so you've got that going for you

[TransMonk]

Mets Guy in Michigan wrote: Clearly he doesn't care about smoking laws.

[Frayed Knot]

[fimg=400:34m1tj47]http://justin-biebers-fansite.webs.com/596700_1292233057227_full.jpg[/fimg:34m1tj47]

No caption needed.

[Centerfield]

This picture was taken at Yankee Stadium during Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS. I don't know, there is something a little off about these Yankee fans.

[Edgy MD]

You know the type. By day, he's a counter clerk at AutoZone. He'll make sure you get the right wipers for your car and recommend that you rotate your tires more frequently. But in the evening, rather than taking his steady girl Angie out for a nice little dinner at Applebee's, he squanders all his spare money to buy front-row bleacher seats, downs 4 or 5 $11 Bud Lights, and then he morphs into this guy:

The peripherals are so great in this shot. There's the guy behind Autozone Guy. He just repeats "F. You!" three times because after the second or third beer, that's all he can say. There's the guy to AZ's right, lovingly explaining to his kid how AZ interfered with a ball in play, and this is what we all aspire to. There's the guy one row back on the left, explaining the same to his kid in green.

And speaking of peripherals, there's a guy next to Stogie McRingbrandish wearing a "Mets Suck" tee shirt, spoiling for a fight he can't win because he weighs in at about 120. But it's OK, because he's traveling with a pack.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Yes, I'm a Yankee fan. And I'm a Cubs fan, at least when I'm in Illinois. No. I can't answer any questions from the media about this.

[MFS62]

I thought that picture was erased from her server.

Later

[TransMonk]

"When I'm president, America will be great again. I will secure 8 years of Yankee championships on day one. We will be great at winning. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. You're fired.

O'Reilly says 'hi'."

[Lefty Specialist]

Yeah, I love the "Fuck you, Fuck you!" guy, because he's just shouting it out to no one in particular. The player can't hear it. It was probably the most exercise that Sopranos extra had had in years.

[Guest Mets Willets Point]

What's the term for the YLDB who talks about the star players on other teams as if they're prospects in the Yankees' farm system?

"Yeah, in 2017 we'll slot Mike Trout in the batting order behind Bryce Harper..."

[Fman99]

Mets – Willets Point wrote: What's the term for the YLDB who talks about the star players on other teams as if they're prospects in the Yankees' farm system? "Yeah, in 2017 we'll slot Mike Trout in the batting order behind Bryce Harper..."

The term for that is "YLDB."

[HahnSolo]

I love Cleveland.

[HahnSolo]

Marry you? I wouldn't even validate your parking ticket.

[Frayed Knot]

[fimg=400:31t515rm]http://www.callcentrehelper.com/images/stories/Q2-2008/body3.jpg[/fimg:31t515rm]

Caller: Hey thanks for takin' my phone call Mike
Mike Francesa: What's up?
C -- We'll I was watching SportsCenter hi-lights the other day and I saw a 2nd baseman on Houston -- I didn't even know Houston had a team, probably just expanded them or something ...
MF: They're not an expansion team, they were just moved over from the National League
C -- What league? ... Oh, is that the one the Mets play in? Ahh, I never pay attention to that league except in October and even then not lately. So anyway dese Houston guys got someone named Amway or something like that ...
MF -- Altuve. Jose Al-Too-Vay
C - Yeah, that's him. So anyway they was sayin' that he gets 200 hits every year and has stolen like 100 bases and I was thinking we need someone to replace Drew
MF -- They're not going to give you Altuve, they're in the middle of a division race
C -- I'm talking about signing him for next year
MF -- He's not even a free agent yet
C -- That never use-da stop George!
MF -- You're an idiot!
C - OK, supposin' we trade for him?
MF -- He's a 25 year old Awl-Stah on an up and coming team, we would they trade him?
C -- How 'bout if we give them A-Rod?
MF - Why would they want ARod?
C -- Cuz we'll pay most of the money
MF -- They don't want him, he's fawty years old!!
C -- Even if we t'row in a coupla prospects?
MF -- No way!!
C -- Well if not him, I just heard about some guy on Washington named Harper or something like that, how 'bout if we packaged Sabathia with Chris Young? ...

[Edgy MD]

[fimg=550]http://mlb.mlb.com/assets/images/0/8/0/103152080/Jay_Zglasses_13c6qvuu.jpg[/fimg]
Actually I kind of love this sort of YLDB. By donning a Yankee hat, it allows me to be
certain that I already have them in the right silo. When these sorts of YLDBs put a
Mets hat on, it makes my brain hurt.

What's that? Jay Z's in a Yankee hat? Well, then, all's right with the world. Wait...
Snookie's in a Mets hat? bzzpt... does not compute! circuits frying... daisy, daisy,
what's a boy to do...

[HahnSolo]

It's like the glasses and hat are so heavy on his head that his face hurts.

[Guest d'Kong76]

When you google Yankee Loving Douchebag, first up is an
old Village Voice article and then this:
http://archives.cranepoolforum.net/11100/f1_t11194.shtml

[seawolf17]

d'Kong76 wrote: When you google Yankee Loving Douchebag, first up is an old Village Voice article and then this: http://archives.cranepoolforum.net/11100/f1_t11194.shtml

That's an all-time classic thread right there. Great work all around, folks.

[Edgy MD]

Fee Wayvill, what kind of YLDB are you?

[Lefty Specialist]

Pretty easy to pick these guys out of a lineup.

[Frayed Knot]

For some actual KTE knowledge about the series:

Yanx are playing pretty mediocre these days: 8-7 in September, 22-21 since the 17-7 month of July which shot them into 1st place.
Currently sitting 3.0 games in back of Toronto, they're in the drivers seat for the 1st WC slot but a lot can happen over the final 17 days so there's no need to emphasize how damaging we can be to them here.
They're still as HR-happy as ever - HRs account for over 48% of their runs. But they won't have the services of either of their top two HR hitters this weekend, nor will they have the short porch.

- ARod won't see the light of day except for PH situations since we'll be playing by real baseball rules this weekend and they took his glove away last spring and won't tell him where they hid it.
- Texeira is out for the season with a broken leg which somehow took like two weeks to diagnose.

C - McCann: Same as ever, low BA, lots of walks & HRs. His career has been almost absurdly consistent.
1B - Prospect Greg Bird was called up last month and is off to a good start. 7 HRs in barely 100 ABs and nearly half his hits have gone for XBs so far
2B - a variety of people, none of whom are any good
SS - Didi Gregorius: Started slow both offensively and defensively but getting better
3B - Chase Headley: Still dining out over that one good year he had in SD. Decent player but nothing special and has been shaky defensively lately
LF - Brett Gardner and/or Chris Young. We'll probably see Young start vs Matz on Friday
CF - Jacoby Ellsbury: Is totally sucking and the natives aren't happy. Oh well, only 43 more years left on the deal.
RF - Usually Beltran. Can't run or field like he used to, but still hanging in there with the bat

All three games on national TV btw

Friday (MLBN) 7:10 -- Matz vs Tanaka [12-6, 3.40, 0.99] That arm still hasn't fallen off yet

Saturday (FOX) 1:10 -- Syndergaard vs Pineda [10-8, 4.25, 1.22] Seems to throw out a mixture of good & bad starts. Never know what you'll get.

Sunday (ESPN) 8:10 -- Harvey vs Sabathia [4-9, 4.93, 1.42] Horrible early but better lately

They've used like 75 different relievers this year, none of whom would be recognized by any baseball fan anywhere even if they walked into a room wearing their pinstripes.
Only Bettances & Miller at the end of games have consistent roles. Girardi has to lean on them but also tries to back off using them too many days in a row.

[Edgy MD]

27 innings in the field all year. That's insanely counterproductive. Even David Ortiz has more than twice that many.