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Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
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THERE'S A BOMB IN THAT ABANDONED BAG!


Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
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Mamas, don't let robots watch your children.


Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
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I'm finagling auto insurance via my veteran dad.


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Differences in mobile service notwithstanding, I may not be cut out for this flash mob.


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You have to have been one of the best basketball players of all time if you want to appear in an underwear ad with a Hitler moustache.


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Guest themetfairy
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Instead of being grateful for life-saving surgery, ex-smoker bitches and moans about not being able to go swimming.


Guest themetfairy
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Watching SNY causes embarrassing hair growth.


Guest themetfairy
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Driving at supersonic speeds in residential neighborhoods kills passengers.


Guest themetfairy
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Winning the lottery makes you a self-centered douchebag (or, alternatively, it's self-centered douchebags who win the lottery).


Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
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The best way to stop people from texting-while-driving is by t-boning them.


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Randy Johnson's delight is of utmost concern to several retired athletes and can be achieved by making the most superficial adjustments to his appearance, though his notoriously sour personality remains unaddressed.


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