deBackPage Invitational (split from "Memories of Jacob deGrom")

[Benjamin Grimm]

First three entries for the 2023 Tabloid Cover Derby, coming in November to a theater near you.



I would probably have gone with JACOB dePARTS, but the unanimous choice is apparently deGONE!



http://leaptoad.com/mets/covers/2022/20221203_NSD_02.jpg>



http://leaptoad.com/mets/covers/2022/20221203_NYDN_02.jpg>



http://leaptoad.com/mets/covers/2022/20221203_NYP_02.jpg>

[Edgy MD]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I would probably have gone with JACOB dePARTS, but the unanimous choice is apparently deGONE!

This matters. How disappointing. Where was dePARTED!! ? How about deFECTION!! ? Can't we have a provocative deSERTED!! ?



Why do they never call me about these things? These are the moments when Tabloid Derbies are won and lost!

[metirish]

"If it ain't starting (at five years )

I'm dePARTING"

[Edgy MD]

You could put the prefix cleverness aside and go right for the jugular.



Newsday:



　　JAKE THE

　　SNAKE!



Daily News:



　　Mets Fans to deGrom:

　　"ENJOY ALL

　　THAT OIL $$

　　PRETTY BOY!"



New York Post:



　　Flushing Faithful Cry:

　　"THERE

　　WILL BE

　　BLOOD!"

　　When deGrom/Rangers Come

　　To Citi Field August 28–30





It's almost like we've learned some time in the last four years that using the media for violence-mongering is a bad thing.

[bmfc1]

"ENJOY THE POWER GRID!"



"NO WINS, NO RIGHTS IN TEXAS!"

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

New

Ranger

Ace

[Edgy MD]

You're the back page editor for a New York tabloid. It's your job to write the headline as Jacob deGrom leaves the Mets and signs a kajillion-dollar deal with Texas.



Please carry on.

[MFS62]

No Happy Ending

Just a Jake-off



Later

[G-Fafif]

JAKE & JILT

Ex-Met ace deserts New York

for uphill battle in 68-win Texas

— and a pail of $185 million

[kcmets]

Jake Bails on Perennial NY Stardom

Chooses Black Gold, Texas Tea



Well the first thing ya know ol' Jake's a...

[Fman99]

EAT TEXAS SHIT YOU TWAT FART



Too subtle?

[Marshmallowmilkshake]

LONE STAR

Jake bolts Mets to be only good player on mediocre Texas team

[nymr83]

I think "Jake the Snake" with a photoshop of a Texas rattlesnake in a uniform is all you need.

[Lefty Specialist]

deLIVERANCE

Jake departs for Banjo Country

[Edgy MD]

LONE STAR Jake bolts Mets to be only good player on mediocre Texas team

I was thinking:




[TABLE][TR][/TR][/TABLE]

[TH] LONE STAR Sources Unsurprised by deGrom's Departure Report That Jake Was Always About Jake [/TH]

... also ...




[TABLE][TR][/TR][/TABLE]

[TH]GREEN- EYED LADY [FIMG=200]https://media.tenor.com/49aq3kRyBesAAAAC/green-eyes-green-eyed-monster.gif[/FIMG] Jake's Texas Defection Reportedly Due To Wife's Jealousy Over All of Ruth Ryan's Cool Stuff[/TH]

[MFS62]

=Fman99 post_id=113879 time=1670205462 user_id=86]
EAT TEXAS SHIT YOU TWAT FART



Too subtle?

[metsmarathon]

home home on the range

discouraging words cloud mets fans skies

as degrom departs for texas