Hand Job

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

Mets close to deal with Mr. Hand, twitter says

[Frayed Knot]

GNARLY!!!!





[FIMG=400]https://media.vanityfair.com/photos/598dab6338291d36bb48bd9f/7:3/w_1056,h_452,c_limit/spicoli.png[/FIMG]

[G-Fafif]

Unhand that bulletin!

[G-Fafif]

Olney says it's Hand jive.

[Benjamin Grimm]

These puns are getting out of hand.

[MFS62]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: These puns are getting out of hand.

We have to hand it to you, you're right.



Later

[G-Fafif]

/handwave

[Frayed Knot]

Have we fingered the culprit responsible for the errant report?

If so we should give his reporting a thumbs down and make him pinky swear never to do it again.

[smg58]

No doubt it was somebody with left-handed intentions.

[Fman99]

I feel like these guys should reach around the competition and sign him.

[TransMonk]

Yup. That's the one. BOC

[Lefty Specialist]

Frayed Knot wrote: Have we fingered the culprit responsible for the errant report? If so we should give his reporting a thumbs down and make him pinky swear never to do it again.

A knucklehead, no doubt.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Well this thread was anti-climactic.

[Frayed Knot]

A Boy Named Seo wrote: Well this thread was anti-climactic.

Yeah, but maybe it will wind up with a happy ending.

[Lefty Specialist]

Frayed Knot wrote: A Boy Named Seo wrote: Well this thread was anti-climactic. Yeah, but maybe it will wind up with a happy ending.

Or blisters.

[G-Fafif]

Hand holding out for a better deal?



https://youtu.be/Hrm-rPSCIBwhttps://youtu.be/Hrm-rPSCIBw

[Edgy MD]

I give you the prosaic subhead, and you give me the goofy headlines that editors are preparing in the passionate quest to win the 2021 Tabloid Cover Derby.

2. _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
   
   A Guide to the Surprising Array of Tattoos Under Shirt of Newest Met




4. _ _ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ ,　_ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ _
   
   Mets Pass on Cleveland Lefty, Sign Mo'Ne Davis to Bolster Pen



6. _ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !　_ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !
   
   MLB Teams Cheering for Mets New Ownership Group, Agree to Let Team Pursue Lefty Unimpeded



8. _ _ _ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _
   
   After Reading His Social Media Posts, Mets End Pursuit of Lefthander



10. _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _　_ _　_ _ _ _ _ _
    
    Pop-Singer Morrissette Accuses Mets Reliever of Inappropriate Touching



12. _ _ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ _ _ _　_ _ _　_ _ _ _ _
    
    Surprising Mets, Reliever Joins Hanshin Tigers



14. _ _ _ _ _ _　_ _ _　_ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
    
    Mets Passing on Reliever Attributed to Questionable Scouting Report from Randolph



16. _ _ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ _
    
    Mets Announce Lefty's Leave of Absence to Confront Depression



18. _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
    
    Unsubstantiated Reports Suggest Mets Want to Sign Brad's Younger Brother Too



20. _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
    
    Rest of League Shows No Interest in Cleveland Lefthander

[Fman99]

The only one I get from that list is "One Hand In My Pocket" (#5).

[cal sharpie]

7. Willie and the Hand Jive

[dinosaur jesus]

6. Hand's Across the Water

[Edgy MD]

Excellent work on the middle three!

2. _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
   
   A Guide to the Surprising Array of Tattoos Under Shirt of Newest Met
   
   
   
   　


4. _ _ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ ,　_ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ _
   
   Mets Pass on Cleveland Lefty, Sign Mo'Ne Davis to Bolster Pen
   
   
   
   　


6. _ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !　_ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !
   
   MLB Teams Cheering for Mets New Ownership Group, Agree to Let Team Pursue Lefty Unimpeded
   
   
   
   　


8. _ _ _ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _
   
   After Reading His Social Media Posts, Mets End Pursuit of Lefthander
   
   
   
   　


10. O N E　H A N D　I N　M Y　P O C K E T (Fman)
    
    Pop-Singer Morrissette Accuses Mets Reliever of Inappropriate Touching
    
    
    
    　


12. H A N D ' S　A C R O S S　T H E　W A T E R (dinosaur jesus)
    
    Surprising Mets, Reliever Joins Hanshin Tigers
    
    
    
    　


14. W I L L I E　A N D　T H E　H A N D　J I V E (cal sharpie)
    
    Mets Passing on Reliever Attributed to Questionable Scouting Report from Randolph
    
    
    
    　


16. _ _ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ _
    
    Mets Announce Lefty's Leave of Absence to Confront Depression
    
    
    
    　


18. _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
    
    Unsubstantiated Reports Suggest Mets Want to Sign Brad's Younger Brother Too
    
    
    
    　


20. _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
    
    Rest of League Shows No Interest in Cleveland Lefthander

[Benjamin Grimm]

8. HAND'S DOWN

[Edgy MD]

I thought that would go first. What an insensitive headline editor that guy must be!

2. _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
   
   A Guide to the Surprising Array of Tattoos Under Shirt of Newest Met
   
   
   
   　


4. _ _ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ ,　_ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ _
   
   Mets Pass on Cleveland Lefty, Sign Mo'Ne Davis to Bolster Pen
   
   
   
   　


6. _ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !　_ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !
   
   MLB Teams Cheering for Mets New Ownership Group, Agree to Let Team Pursue Lefty Unimpeded
   
   
   
   　


8. _ _ _ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _
   
   After Reading His Social Media Posts, Mets End Pursuit of Lefthander
   
   
   
   　


10. O N E　H A N D　I N　M Y　P O C K E T (Fman)
    
    Pop-Singer Morrissette Accuses Mets Reliever of Inappropriate Touching
    
    
    
    　


12. H A N D ' S　A C R O S S　T H E　W A T E R (dinosaur jesus)
    
    Surprising Mets, Reliever Joins Hanshin Tigers
    
    
    
    　


14. W I L L I E　A N D　T H E　H A N D　J I V E (cal sharpie)
    
    Mets Passing on Reliever Attributed to Questionable Scouting Report from Randolph
    
    
    
    　


16. H A N D ' S　D O W N (Ben Grimm)
    
    Mets Announce Lefty's Leave of Absence to Confront Depression
    
    
    
    　


18. _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
    
    Unsubstantiated Reports Suggest Mets Want to Sign Brad's Younger Brother Too
    
    
    
    　


20. _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
    
    Rest of League Shows No Interest in Cleveland Lefthander

[Frayed Knot]

9 -- SECOND-HAND NEWS

[Edgy MD]

Bingo! It's all about the Fleetwoods.

2. _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
   
   A Guide to the Surprising Array of Tattoos Under Shirt of Newest Met
   
   
   
   　


4. _ _ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ ,　_ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ _
   
   Mets Pass on Cleveland Lefty, Sign Mo'Ne Davis to Bolster Pen
   
   
   
   　


6. _ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !　_ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !
   
   MLB Teams Cheering for Mets New Ownership Group, Agree to Let Team Pursue Lefty Unimpeded
   
   
   
   　


8. _ _ _ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _
   
   After Reading His Social Media Posts, Mets End Pursuit of Lefthander
   
   
   
   　


10. O N E　H A N D　I N　M Y　P O C K E T (Fman)
    
    Pop-Singer Morrissette Accuses Mets Reliever of Inappropriate Touching
    
    
    
    　


12. H A N D ' S　A C R O S S　T H E　W A T E R (dinosaur jesus)
    
    Surprising Mets, Reliever Joins Hanshin Tigers
    
    
    
    　


14. W I L L I E　A N D　T H E　H A N D　J I V E (cal sharpie)
    
    Mets Passing on Reliever Attributed to Questionable Scouting Report from Randolph
    
    
    
    　


16. H A N D ' S　D O W N (Ben Grimm)
    
    Mets Announce Lefty's Leave of Absence to Confront Depression
    
    
    
    　


18. S E C O N D -H A N D　N E W S (Frayed Knot)
    
    Unsubstantiated Reports Suggest Mets Want to Sign Brad's Younger Brother Too
    
    
    
    　


20. _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
    
    Rest of League Shows No Interest in Cleveland Lefthander

Hey, we're halfway home!

[Chad ochoseis]

Was 3 supposed to be repeated twice? Looks like GIVE 'EM A HAND!

[Benjamin Grimm]

Frayed Knot wrote: 9 -- SECOND-HAND NEWS

If it was Brad's sister, instead of brother, it could have been SECOND-HAND ROSE.

[Edgy MD]

Chad ochoseis wrote: Was 3 supposed to be repeated twice? Looks like GIVE 'EM A HAND!

You're halfway home!

2. _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _
   
   A Guide to the Surprising Array of Tattoos Under Shirt of Newest Met
   
   
   
   　


4. _ _ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ ,　_ _ _ ' _　_ _ _ _
   
   Mets Pass on Cleveland Lefty, Sign Mo'Ne Davis to Bolster Pen
   
   
   
   　


6. _ _ _ _　' _ _　_　_ _ _ _ !　G I V E　'E M　A　H A N D !
   
   MLB Teams Cheering for Mets New Ownership Group, Agree to Let Team Pursue Lefty Unimpeded
   
   
   
   　


8. _ _ _ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _
   
   After Reading His Social Media Posts, Mets End Pursuit of Lefthander
   
   
   
   　


10. O N E　H A N D　I N　M Y　P O C K E T (Fman)
    
    Pop-Singer Morrissette Accuses Mets Reliever of Inappropriate Touching
    
    
    
    　


12. H A N D ' S　A C R O S S　T H E　W A T E R (dinosaur jesus)
    
    Surprising Mets, Reliever Joins Hanshin Tigers
    
    
    
    　


14. W I L L I E　A N D　T H E　H A N D　J I V E (cal sharpie)
    
    Mets Passing on Reliever Attributed to Questionable Scouting Report from Randolph
    
    
    
    　


16. H A N D ' S　D O W N (Ben Grimm)
    
    Mets Announce Lefty's Leave of Absence to Confront Depression
    
    
    
    　


18. S E C O N D -H A N D　N E W S (Frayed Knot)
    
    Unsubstantiated Reports Suggest Mets Want to Sign Brad's Younger Brother Too
    
    
    
    　


20. _ _ _ _　_ _ _ _　_ _ _ _ _　_ _　_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
    
    Rest of League Shows No Interest in Cleveland Lefthander

[Fman99]

10. KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

2. HAND'S OFF, SHE'S MINE