="Centerfield"]A-Fraud: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=gallo/060530 From Bill Simmons' mailbag today: Q: What was [Terry] Francona thinking on Monday night? How can you pitch to Mr. March in an eight-run game? Doesn't he know that A-Job bats like .900 in six-to-10 run games? You HAVE to walk him in that situation. -- Chris, Cincinnati SG: (Giggling.) Q: I'm at work right now and my buddy and I were just talking on the phone about fantasy baseball and going back and forth checking stats online and my buddy was saying A-Rod is the "opposite of clutch" which led to a discussion of what the word for that is. I tried doing the research on my own and can't find it. So I come to you. What's the word for someone who is "the opposite of clutch"? -- Tony, Boston To figure this out, you have to look at the real definition of the word "clutch" -- it's a verb that means to "grab, clasp or seize." ... So what's the opposite of "grab, clasp or seize?" Probably "fumble," which has synonyms that include "grope," "scuffle," "botch" and "mishandle." "Fumble" doesn't work because we're already using it for football. "Grope" makes me think of some lecherous uncle at a Fourth of July party; that doesn't sound right. "Mishandle" is too awkward, and we already use the double meaning of "scuffle" for fights. But "botch" could work -- it has the same "tch" ending as clutch, it sounds like a noun, and it's one of those underrated words that we don't use nearly enough in sports (right up there with "boner" and "fracas"). A-Rod is the premiere botch hitter in baseball. Peyton Manning always seems to come through in the botch. Karl Malone may have scored 35,000 points, but everyone remembers how botch he was in the playoffs. (Actually, screw this ... it's not working. Sounds too weird. Let's just stick with "he's not clutch," unless you want to go with "arodian" or "arodish.")