Reasons to Hate the Royals

[Frayed Knot]

There actually is a separate Kansas City that sits on the Kansas side of the line but it's the puny, girly version compared to the Missouri one.

[batmagadanleadoff]

I dunno. Raquel Welch was a Kansas City Bomber. That's gotta count for something, no?

[soupcan]

George Brett was responsible for teaching the adolescent me all about hemorrhoids. I should hate him for that.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Strong association with one of America's most fascinating and reviled companies, Wal_Mart Stores.

Royals owner David Glass was the second CEO in company history, taking over for founder Sam Walton. He's a big union-buster and symbol of remorseless corporate bullying who supported replacement players in the 1995 strike; opposed any labor deal without a salary cap; revoked press credentials of reporters who asked tough questions of Royals management; slashed KC payroll in half upon his appointment. At Walmart he helped to spearhead the insane expansion of the "supercenter" concept, and made sure stores switched to "case ready" meat packaged at the factory five minutes after butchers in a single store won union representation.

Walmart/Glass was influential in the Royals' Class AA team moving from Wichita to NW Arkansas, near company HQ. They play in a stadium named for the Walton family's bank, Arvest.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Walt Disney spent his adolescence in Kansas City, taking drawing classes at the Kansas City Art Institute as a teen; he later returned to KC after WWI to his first artist job, then began an animated studio with his old mentor when that job ended.

So that makes Kansas City at least, like, 30 percent responsible for stupid fucking Mickey Mouse, overpriced theme park vacations pitched as a rite of passage, and the shooting pains you get behind your eyes when you hear the overture to Frozen. #FuckYouYOULetItGo

[Edgy MD]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Strong association with one of America's most fascinating and reviled companies, Wal_Mart Stores. Royals owner David Glass was the second CEO in company history, taking over for founder Sam Walton. He's a big union-buster and symbol of remorseless corporate bullying who supported replacement players in the 1995 strike; opposed any labor deal without a salary cap; revoked press credentials of reporters who asked tough questions of Royals management; slashed KC payroll in half upon his appointment. At Walmart he helped to spearhead the insane expansion of the "supercenter" concept, and made sure stores switched to "case ready" meat packaged at the factory five minutes after butchers in a single store won union representation. Walmart/Glass was influential in the Royals' Class AA team moving from Wichita to NW Arkansas, near company HQ. They play in a stadium named for the Walton family's bank, Arvest.

Wait a minute... amid all these credulity-stretching motivations, this is actually a meaningful, authentic reason to hate the Royals.

The entire board is stacked with members of the Glass family.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Yeah, I'm kind of annoyed JCL got to that one before I did.

So here's this: the "Jeopardy" "pansy" contestant is a KC native and Royals fan. #dividernotuniter

[seawolf17]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: The tallest building in KC would be the 82nd tallest building in NYC. These guys SUCK at density!

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

KC is perennially ranked among the worst dating cities in America. WHY DO YOU HATE ROMANCE, GREATER KANSAS CITY?

[Benjamin Grimm]

Could it be because they've got some crazy little women there?

[G-Fafif]

All teams and their associated cities that stand in the way of Met destiny and/or density invite animus.

Screw the Royals. Let's Go Mets.

[Centerfield]

G-Fafif wrote: All teams and their associated cities that stand in the way of Met destiny and/or density invite animus. Screw the Royals. Let's Go Mets.

This. Fuck Kansas City. Go Mets.

(I also heard that Duaner Sanchez's cab driver was wearing a KC Royals hat. Can't give away my source here but it's rock solid.)

[dgwphotography]

I just can't hate the Royals. I try, but I just can't.

I mean... Haley Atwell...

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Cmon, D. Most of their fans look like this:

[Benjamin Grimm]

Isn't that Dwight Schrute's cousin?

[Ceetar]

This was the only 2013 ASG apple that was in a 'cordoned off' area (the staircase was gated) and I got yelled at and threatened for walking around it.

[Vic Sage]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Strong association with one of America's most fascinating and reviled companies, Wal_Mart Stores. Royals owner David Glass was the second CEO in company history, taking over for founder Sam Walton. He's a big union-buster and symbol of remorseless corporate bullying who supported replacement players in the 1995 strike; opposed any labor deal without a salary cap; revoked press credentials of reporters who asked tough questions of Royals management; slashed KC payroll in half upon his appointment. At Walmart he helped to spearhead the insane expansion of the "supercenter" concept, and made sure stores switched to "case ready" meat packaged at the factory five minutes after butchers in a single store won union representation. Walmart/Glass was influential in the Royals' Class AA team moving from Wichita to NW Arkansas, near company HQ. They play in a stadium named for the Walton family's bank, Arvest.

dude, you had me at "Walmart".

[batmagadanleadoff]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Strong association with one of America's most fascinating and reviled companies, Wal_Mart Stores. Royals owner David Glass was the second CEO in company history, taking over for founder Sam Walton. He's a big union-buster and symbol of remorseless corporate bullying who supported replacement players in the 1995 strike; opposed any labor deal without a salary cap; revoked press credentials of reporters who asked tough questions of Royals management; slashed KC payroll in half upon his appointment. At Walmart he helped to spearhead the insane expansion of the "supercenter" concept, and made sure stores switched to "case ready" meat packaged at the factory five minutes after butchers in a single store won union representation. Walmart/Glass was influential in the Royals' Class AA team moving from Wichita to NW Arkansas, near company HQ. They play in a stadium named for the Walton family's bank, Arvest.

All you hadda do was say this at the beginning instead of with the Shaun Marcum's birthplace. Jeff Wilpon was born in New York.

I'm on board. Totally.

[Fman99]

Honestly, NONE OF YOU hate the Royals for this fucking song? You guys are slipping.

[youtube:38ks8o8y]LFasFq4GJYM[/youtube:38ks8o8y]

[Lefty Specialist]

soupcan wrote: George Brett was responsible for teaching the adolescent me all about hemorrhoids. I should hate him for that.

That actually gave me a great Halloween costume that year. I wore a Royals shirt and baseball pants with a blinking red light inside. It was awesome.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Lefty Specialist wrote: soupcan wrote: George Brett was responsible for teaching the adolescent me all about hemorrhoids. I should hate him for that. That actually gave me a great Halloween costume that year. I wore a Royals shirt and baseball pants with a blinking red light inside. It was awesome.

Here's the George Brett Moment That Will Live Forever

PseNrUeSmXk

[Edgy MD]

Fman99 wrote: Honestly, NONE OF YOU hate the Royals for this fucking song? You guys are slipping. [youtube]LFasFq4GJYM[/youtube]

Oh, I'm all over that.

[Piggiestomatoes]

That's the best. I'd never seen that before. Brett, not the song.

[Edgy MD]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Here's the George Brett Moment That Will Live Forever [youtube]PseNrUeSmXk[/youtube]

What makes this absolutely surreal scene land with a concrete thud in the real world for me is the presence of future Mets John Buck and Jose Lima in the foreground. Wow.

And the cherry on the cake that would earn a Hollywood script writer an Oscar: "Who's the pitchers in this game?"

[Benjamin Grimm]

[Lefty Specialist]

Omigod, I could only get halfway through that George Brett video. That is the very definition of 'too much information'.

I may never go to the Bellagio again.

[soupcan]

'The next morning I took the most perfect double-tapered shit I ever took in my life'

My new favorite expression.

[Edgy MD]

The unfaithful suits at Royal Crown Cola, no longer sponsoring the Mets.

[fimg=350]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/aa/74/bd/aa74bd21e4ed4dea1da6d50de299772d.jpg[/fimg]

[Guest Mets Willets Point]

Benjamin Grimm wrote:

The artist doesn't seem to realize that King Kong lost that battle.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Strong association with one of America's most fascinating and reviled companies, Wal_Mart Stores. Royals owner David Glass was the second CEO in company history, taking over for founder Sam Walton. He's a big union-buster and symbol of remorseless corporate bullying who supported replacement players in the 1995 strike; opposed any labor deal without a salary cap; revoked press credentials of reporters who asked tough questions of Royals management; slashed KC payroll in half upon his appointment. At Walmart he helped to spearhead the insane expansion of the "supercenter" concept, and made sure stores switched to "case ready" meat packaged at the factory five minutes after butchers in a single store won union representation. Walmart/Glass was influential in the Royals' Class AA team moving from Wichita to NW Arkansas, near company HQ. They play in a stadium named for the Walton family's bank, Arvest.

I just got off the phone with a WMT bigwig. Sure enough, he's pulling for the Royals.

One of the weird things he told me -- echoed by the only Facebook pal I know who's also a Royals fan -- is that he also identifies as a Cardinals fan. It's like, totally OK in these Flyover Plains states to have 2 favorite teams; although this guy under my tough questioning admitted he pulled for the Royals in 1985.

So that's another reason to hat these guys. They're not actually loyal.