KTE: Tampa Bay Don't-call-me-Devil Rays

[Guest metsguyinmichigan]

Tampa Bay Rays:

2008 in a nutshell: Renounced the devil to worship the sun, forgot they sucked, got to the World Series, remembered they sucked, allowed the bleeping Phillies to claim a championship.

2009 in a nutshell: Falling back to earth, but not to previous levels of suckage, 35-33, fourth place.

OK, here�s an objective breakdown.

Game 1: Andy Sonnanstine vs. Fernando Nieve

Sonnanstine: 5-6, 6.65 ERA
Nieve: 1-0, 2.08

Advantage: Mets! Nieve is happy to be a Met and wants to stay.

Game 2: James Shields vs. Johan Santana

Shields: 5-5, 3.52
Santana: 8-4, 3.29

Advantage: Mets! Someone is going to pay for the 15-0 game, and it�s going to be the Rays.

Game 3: Jeff Niemann vs Mike Pelfrey

Niemann: 6-4, 4.21
Pelfrey: 5-2, 4.56

Advantage: Mets! Big Pelf wants to rebound from the 9-run fiasco.

Starters:

C: Dioner Navarro: .211. 4 HR, 20 RBI

Advantage: Mets! Navarro has Yankee farm taint.

1B: Carlos Pena: .240, 21 HR, 49 RBI

Advantage: Mets! We know for sure that Murphy�s not on PEDs. Can we say the same for Pena? All I�m saying is that this guy sucked rocks when he was with the Tigers, and suddenly he�s Mr. Stud.

2B: Ben Zorbrist: .310, 14 HR, 39 RBI, 8 SB

Advantage: Mets! Zorbrist is playing out of position and over his head.

3B: Evan Longoria: .308, 16 HR, 60 RBI, 2 SB

Advantage: Mets! Longoria is the David Wright of the future. But we have the David Wright of the present!

SS: Jason Bartlett: .373, 7 HR, 31 RBI, 14 SB

Advantage: Mets! Bartlett�s playing over his head, too.

CF: B.J. Upton: .222, 4 HR, 18, 24 SB

Advantage: Mets! Imagine how many steals Upton would get if he got on first better than a .222 clip? Meanwhile, Beltran is a monster!

LF: Carl Crawford: .313 6 HR, 30 RBI, 36 SB

Advantage: Mets! Crawford�s too fast for his own good, with those 36 steals. Meanwhile, Fernando Martinez is trying to make a case to avoid a return trip to Buffalo.

RF: Gabe Kapler: .225, 4 HR, 15 RBI, 2B and Gabe Gross: .278, 4 HR, 22 RBI, 5 SB

Advantage: Mets! They can play both Gabes at once in right, and they�re still not going to figure out how to play right field at Citi.

Mascot: �Raymond,� a sea dog.

Advantage: Mets! I had no idea that Raymond was a sea dog until I looked it up, and even then, I�m taking their word for it. Mr. Met�s cred speaks for itself.




Uniforms: With both a manta ray and a sun ray on the jerseys, the Rays can�t figure out their identity. They might as well put a slice of Original Ray�s Pizza on one of the sleeves.

Advantage: Mets! We have the best uniforms in baseball, if not all of sports.

Another team�s player honored in their ballpark: The Rays are the new home for the Ted Williams Hitters Hall of Fame.

Advantage: Mets! Jackie Robinson Rotunda trumps the Williams� museum.

Key Injuries:

Rays:
Akinori Iwamura, out for year
Jason Isringhausen, out for the year, possibly for his career.
Scott Kazmir, on 15-day
Chad Bradford, out since March

Mets:
Carlos Delgado
Jose Reyes
Ramon Martinez
Angel Pagan
Billy Wagner
Oliver Perez
John Maine
JJ Putz

Advantage: Mets! The players on our DL are MUCH better than the players on the Rays� DL! Oh, wait�

Exes

Ex-Mets:
Isringhausen
Bradford
Dan Wheeler
Kazmir, if you must.

Ex-Rays
Brian Stokes
Jon Switzer

It seems like the Mets have an obvious advantage in every category. So we�ll be lucky to win two of three based on the way things are going lately.

[nymr83]

you have an overly optimistic view of these matchups, i like it!

[seawolf17]

WAIT WAIT WAIT. They're the (Devil) Rays and their mascot is a "sea dog"?!? No wonder they can't win shit.

[Guest themetfairy]

Thanks for the knowledge Michigan!

[Gwreck]

First time we've faced Tampa since 2001; we've faced every other team since, including many AL teams multiple times since.

Outstanding MGIM. I actually laughed out loud at this report.

[Guest Edgy DC]

="metsguyinmichigan"]SS: Jason Bartlett: .373, 7 HR, 31 RBI, 14 SB Advantage: Mets! Bartlett�s playing over his head, too.

Bartlett is playing over everybody's head.

[metirish]

="Gwreck"] Outstanding MGIM. I actually laughed out loud at this report.

me too , that was hilarious

] Advantage: Mets! Crawford�s too fast for his own good, with those 36 steals. Meanwhile, Fernando Martinez is trying to make a case to avoid a return trip to Buffalo.

LOL

[Guest metsguyinmichigan]

Thanks, guys! I actually kinda like the Rays. Went to see them play the Tigers last year on the day after they clinched. Even met and talked to Kazmir for a little while.

That mascot sure does suck, though. High schools have better mascot costumes than that!

[Benjamin Grimm]

="seawolf17":ylkezg2p]WAIT WAIT WAIT. They're the (Devil) Rays and their mascot is a "sea dog"?!? No wonder they can't win shit.[/quote:ylkezg2p] I think, after the name change, they're now "rays" of light, rather than the "rays" that swim in the sea. That still doesn't explain the hideous mascot, though.

Hawkeye57 Jun 19 2009 09:37 AM

One of the more entertaining KTE's. I like your optimism. What IS up with their mascot? Where did they get a sea dog from Rays/Devil Rays? Doesn't even make sense. My school mascot is better, and we don't even have one (well we do, but it must be in hibernation).

Edgy DC Jun 19 2009 10:02 AM

J.P. Howell, murdered by tough love. (Special appearance by Jason Roach.)

Farmer Ted Jun 19 2009 10:08 AM

I don't like the way that mascot is eying up that usherette's back side. Especially with his tongue out. A whole new meaning to Sea Doggy Style.

Edgy DC Jun 19 2009 10:09 AM Re: KTE: Tampa Bay Don't-call-me-Devil Rays

="metsguyinmichigan":3tfr4fmm]Ex-Mets: Isringhausen Bradford Dan Wheeler Kazmir, if you must.[/quote:3tfr4fmm] Ahem... metirish Jun 19 2009 10:43 AM ="Edgy DC"]J.P. Howell, murdered by tough love. (Special appearance by Jason Roach.) Good link , thanks Just to be sure here , he got pulled because he didn't waste the pitch? Swan Swan H Jun 19 2009 11:16 AM So we have the Kazmir trade and the Seaver trade in our laps all weekend. Maybe they could trot out the bones of Joe Foy to make the weekend complete. Centerfield Jun 19 2009 11:58 AM Excellent KTE! Love the exclamation points! attgig Jun 19 2009 12:48 PM I sometimes still wonder about Niemann. We decided to pick up humber (his teamate from rice) one pick before the Rays got Niemann. of course now that we got Santana, i guess humber was a great pick..... metirish Jun 19 2009 01:08 PM I've been meaning to ask you for years why the girl is your avatar. Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 01:11 PM It's probably only been months. A while back our domain name expired, and when we tried to visit the forum, instead of seeing our familiar list of forums and topics, we saw the cute blonde with the backpack. Most of us thought it was an improvement. metirish Jun 19 2009 01:13 PM ="Benjamin Grimm":2tbj3wzi]It's probably only been months. A while back our domain name expired, and when we tried to visit the forum, instead of seeing our familiar list of forums and topics, we saw the cute blonde with the backpack. Most of us thought it was an improvement.[/quote:2tbj3wzi] Yes , how the hell could I have forgotten. LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jun 19 2009 01:27 PM We're the greatest sports team in the world! Thanks for the hilarious upper, MGIM. Edgy DC Jun 19 2009 02:07 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jun 19 2009 06:57 PM One Saturday, the radio said some thing 'bout Fred I got online to find out, but the Pool was dead Backpack Girl! Why are you there? Backpack Girl! Your skin's so clear But my head is in a whirl No Crane Pool, just some Backpack Girl I tried three URLs that used to work before Your smile kept telling me that they don't work no more Backpack Girl! Your lip gloss turns me on Backpack Girl! But now my forum's gone And that just wrecks my world Please understand, Backpack Girl I wrote to the forum admins They forget to pay domain fees And I asked "Are you fuckin' kidding?" They said "We do this all for free Why can't you assholes see? And no one's put much money In the Community Chest We've got six e-mails from Rogers With his previews of the Dodgers On such a shitty day!" I swallowed hard, moved on to post at Grand Slam Single Such stale and shallow chat, I could not intermingle Backpack Girl! Your backpack's full of lies Backpack Girl! Oh won't you her my cries Your smile's like a pearl But your heart is cruel, Backpack Girl I turned on FAN And laughed at all the callers Who thought the world gave two shits About their dumb opinions I called about Trot Nixon They said "Hey, man, we're talking Yankees" I said "If you don't talk 'bout Trot Nixon Then your station needs some fixin'!" Someone e-mailed me who posted there as well He said we're back online and here's the URL! Backpack Girl! My shining star Backpack Girl! Be my avatar Your hair don't need no curl At the Pool with me --- the pennants we'll unfurl At the Pool with me --- the center of my world! At the Poooool with meeeee, Backpack Girrrrrl! Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 02:12 PM Hey, she and I have the same initials! MFS62 Jun 19 2009 02:42 PM ="Benjamin Grimm":2uwpokzp]Hey, she and I have the same initials![/quote:2uwpokzp] Let me guess. That's the only similarity? Later Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 02:57 PM We also have the same pert little smirk. Ashie62 Jun 19 2009 03:29 PM Ralph is cuter metsguyinmichigan Jun 20 2009 09:19 AM So far, everything is progressing as I have foreseen them... Edgy DC Jun 20 2009 09:48 AM Yes, Martinez sitting out a day while in transit to Buffalo definitely outdid Crawford's 0-4. Fman99 Jun 20 2009 02:04 PM Awesome KTE... Mets optimism has been in short supply the past couple weeks. Thanks for the boost. metsguyinmichigan Jun 20 2009 03:31 PM Re: KTE: Tampa Bay Don't-call-me-Devil Rays ="Edgy DC":4eb5feqg] ="metsguyinmichigan":4eb5feqg]Ex-Mets: Isringhausen Bradford Dan Wheeler Kazmir, if you must.[/quote:4eb5feqg] Ahem... [/quote:4eb5feqg] Took me forever to figure out who this was. Steve Henderson, batting coach for the Rays. Advantage: Mets! No Mets coach was involved in a trade that darn near destroyed my childhood!

[Guest Hawkeye57]

One of the more entertaining KTE's. I like your optimism.

What IS up with their mascot? Where did they get a sea dog from Rays/Devil Rays? Doesn't even make sense. My school mascot is better, and we don't even have one (well we do, but it must be in hibernation).

[Guest Edgy DC]

J.P. Howell, murdered by tough love. (Special appearance by Jason Roach.)

[Farmer Ted]

I don't like the way that mascot is eying up that usherette's back side. Especially with his tongue out. A whole new meaning to Sea Doggy Style.

[Guest Edgy DC]

="metsguyinmichigan":3tfr4fmm]Ex-Mets: Isringhausen Bradford Dan Wheeler Kazmir, if you must.[/quote:3tfr4fmm] Ahem...

metirish Jun 19 2009 10:43 AM

="Edgy DC"]J.P. Howell, murdered by tough love. (Special appearance by Jason Roach.) Good link , thanks Just to be sure here , he got pulled because he didn't waste the pitch?

Swan Swan H Jun 19 2009 11:16 AM

So we have the Kazmir trade and the Seaver trade in our laps all weekend. Maybe they could trot out the bones of Joe Foy to make the weekend complete.

Centerfield Jun 19 2009 11:58 AM

Excellent KTE! Love the exclamation points!

attgig Jun 19 2009 12:48 PM

I sometimes still wonder about Niemann. We decided to pick up humber (his teamate from rice) one pick before the Rays got Niemann. of course now that we got Santana, i guess humber was a great pick.....

metirish Jun 19 2009 01:08 PM

I've been meaning to ask you for years why the girl is your avatar.

Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 01:11 PM

It's probably only been months. A while back our domain name expired, and when we tried to visit the forum, instead of seeing our familiar list of forums and topics, we saw the cute blonde with the backpack. Most of us thought it was an improvement.

metirish Jun 19 2009 01:13 PM

="Benjamin Grimm":2tbj3wzi]It's probably only been months. A while back our domain name expired, and when we tried to visit the forum, instead of seeing our familiar list of forums and topics, we saw the cute blonde with the backpack. Most of us thought it was an improvement.[/quote:2tbj3wzi] Yes , how the hell could I have forgotten. LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jun 19 2009 01:27 PM We're the greatest sports team in the world! Thanks for the hilarious upper, MGIM. Edgy DC Jun 19 2009 02:07 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jun 19 2009 06:57 PM One Saturday, the radio said some thing 'bout Fred I got online to find out, but the Pool was dead Backpack Girl! Why are you there? Backpack Girl! Your skin's so clear But my head is in a whirl No Crane Pool, just some Backpack Girl I tried three URLs that used to work before Your smile kept telling me that they don't work no more Backpack Girl! Your lip gloss turns me on Backpack Girl! But now my forum's gone And that just wrecks my world Please understand, Backpack Girl I wrote to the forum admins They forget to pay domain fees And I asked "Are you fuckin' kidding?" They said "We do this all for free Why can't you assholes see? And no one's put much money In the Community Chest We've got six e-mails from Rogers With his previews of the Dodgers On such a shitty day!" I swallowed hard, moved on to post at Grand Slam Single Such stale and shallow chat, I could not intermingle Backpack Girl! Your backpack's full of lies Backpack Girl! Oh won't you her my cries Your smile's like a pearl But your heart is cruel, Backpack Girl I turned on FAN And laughed at all the callers Who thought the world gave two shits About their dumb opinions I called about Trot Nixon They said "Hey, man, we're talking Yankees" I said "If you don't talk 'bout Trot Nixon Then your station needs some fixin'!" Someone e-mailed me who posted there as well He said we're back online and here's the URL! Backpack Girl! My shining star Backpack Girl! Be my avatar Your hair don't need no curl At the Pool with me --- the pennants we'll unfurl At the Pool with me --- the center of my world! At the Poooool with meeeee, Backpack Girrrrrl! Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 02:12 PM Hey, she and I have the same initials! MFS62 Jun 19 2009 02:42 PM ="Benjamin Grimm":2uwpokzp]Hey, she and I have the same initials![/quote:2uwpokzp] Let me guess. That's the only similarity? Later Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 02:57 PM We also have the same pert little smirk. Ashie62 Jun 19 2009 03:29 PM Ralph is cuter metsguyinmichigan Jun 20 2009 09:19 AM So far, everything is progressing as I have foreseen them... Edgy DC Jun 20 2009 09:48 AM Yes, Martinez sitting out a day while in transit to Buffalo definitely outdid Crawford's 0-4. Fman99 Jun 20 2009 02:04 PM Awesome KTE... Mets optimism has been in short supply the past couple weeks. Thanks for the boost. metsguyinmichigan Jun 20 2009 03:31 PM Re: KTE: Tampa Bay Don't-call-me-Devil Rays ="Edgy DC":4eb5feqg] ="metsguyinmichigan":4eb5feqg]Ex-Mets: Isringhausen Bradford Dan Wheeler Kazmir, if you must.[/quote:4eb5feqg] Ahem... [/quote:4eb5feqg] Took me forever to figure out who this was. Steve Henderson, batting coach for the Rays. Advantage: Mets! No Mets coach was involved in a trade that darn near destroyed my childhood!

[metirish]

="Edgy DC"]J.P. Howell, murdered by tough love. (Special appearance by Jason Roach.)

Good link , thanks

Just to be sure here , he got pulled because he didn't waste the pitch?

[Guest Swan Swan H]

So we have the Kazmir trade and the Seaver trade in our laps all weekend. Maybe they could trot out the bones of Joe Foy to make the weekend complete.

[Centerfield]

Excellent KTE!

Love the exclamation points!

[Guest attgig]

I sometimes still wonder about Niemann. We decided to pick up humber (his teamate from rice) one pick before the Rays got Niemann.
of course now that we got Santana, i guess humber was a great pick.....

[metirish]

I've been meaning to ask you for years why the girl is your avatar.

[Benjamin Grimm]

It's probably only been months.

A while back our domain name expired, and when we tried to visit the forum, instead of seeing our familiar list of forums and topics, we saw the cute blonde with the backpack.

Most of us thought it was an improvement.

[metirish]

="Benjamin Grimm":2tbj3wzi]It's probably only been months. A while back our domain name expired, and when we tried to visit the forum, instead of seeing our familiar list of forums and topics, we saw the cute blonde with the backpack. Most of us thought it was an improvement.[/quote:2tbj3wzi] Yes , how the hell could I have forgotten.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr Jun 19 2009 01:27 PM

We're the greatest sports team in the world! Thanks for the hilarious upper, MGIM.

Edgy DC Jun 19 2009 02:07 PM Edited 1 time(s), most recently on Jun 19 2009 06:57 PM

One Saturday, the radio said some thing 'bout Fred I got online to find out, but the Pool was dead Backpack Girl! Why are you there? Backpack Girl! Your skin's so clear But my head is in a whirl No Crane Pool, just some Backpack Girl I tried three URLs that used to work before Your smile kept telling me that they don't work no more Backpack Girl! Your lip gloss turns me on Backpack Girl! But now my forum's gone And that just wrecks my world Please understand, Backpack Girl I wrote to the forum admins They forget to pay domain fees And I asked "Are you fuckin' kidding?" They said "We do this all for free Why can't you assholes see? And no one's put much money In the Community Chest We've got six e-mails from Rogers With his previews of the Dodgers On such a shitty day!" I swallowed hard, moved on to post at Grand Slam Single Such stale and shallow chat, I could not intermingle Backpack Girl! Your backpack's full of lies Backpack Girl! Oh won't you her my cries Your smile's like a pearl But your heart is cruel, Backpack Girl I turned on FAN And laughed at all the callers Who thought the world gave two shits About their dumb opinions I called about Trot Nixon They said "Hey, man, we're talking Yankees" I said "If you don't talk 'bout Trot Nixon Then your station needs some fixin'!" Someone e-mailed me who posted there as well He said we're back online and here's the URL! Backpack Girl! My shining star Backpack Girl! Be my avatar Your hair don't need no curl At the Pool with me --- the pennants we'll unfurl At the Pool with me --- the center of my world! At the Poooool with meeeee, Backpack Girrrrrl!

Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 02:12 PM

Hey, she and I have the same initials!

MFS62 Jun 19 2009 02:42 PM

="Benjamin Grimm":2uwpokzp]Hey, she and I have the same initials![/quote:2uwpokzp] Let me guess. That's the only similarity? Later Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 02:57 PM We also have the same pert little smirk. Ashie62 Jun 19 2009 03:29 PM Ralph is cuter metsguyinmichigan Jun 20 2009 09:19 AM So far, everything is progressing as I have foreseen them... Edgy DC Jun 20 2009 09:48 AM Yes, Martinez sitting out a day while in transit to Buffalo definitely outdid Crawford's 0-4. Fman99 Jun 20 2009 02:04 PM Awesome KTE... Mets optimism has been in short supply the past couple weeks. Thanks for the boost. metsguyinmichigan Jun 20 2009 03:31 PM Re: KTE: Tampa Bay Don't-call-me-Devil Rays ="Edgy DC":4eb5feqg] ="metsguyinmichigan":4eb5feqg]Ex-Mets: Isringhausen Bradford Dan Wheeler Kazmir, if you must.[/quote:4eb5feqg] Ahem... [/quote:4eb5feqg] Took me forever to figure out who this was. Steve Henderson, batting coach for the Rays. Advantage: Mets! No Mets coach was involved in a trade that darn near destroyed my childhood!

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

We're the greatest sports team in the world!



Thanks for the hilarious upper, MGIM.

[Guest Edgy DC]

One Saturday, the radio said some thing 'bout Fred
I got online to find out, but the Pool was dead
Backpack Girl!
Why are you there?
Backpack Girl!
Your skin's so clear
But my head is in a whirl
No Crane Pool, just some Backpack Girl

I tried three URLs that used to work before
Your smile kept telling me that they don't work no more
Backpack Girl!
Your lip gloss turns me on
Backpack Girl!
But now my forum's gone
And that just wrecks my world
Please understand, Backpack Girl

I wrote to the forum admins

They forget to pay domain fees

And I asked "Are you fuckin' kidding?"

They said "We do this all for free

Why can't you assholes see?

And no one's put much money

In the Community Chest

We've got six e-mails from Rogers

With his previews of the Dodgers

On such a shitty day!"

I swallowed hard, moved on to post at Grand Slam Single
Such stale and shallow chat, I could not intermingle
Backpack Girl!
Your backpack's full of lies
Backpack Girl!
Oh won't you her my cries
Your smile's like a pearl
But your heart is cruel, Backpack Girl

I turned on FAN

And laughed at all the callers

Who thought the world gave two shits

About their dumb opinions

I called about Trot Nixon

They said "Hey, man, we're talking Yankees"

I said "If you don't talk 'bout Trot Nixon

Then your station needs some fixin'!"

Someone e-mailed me who posted there as well
He said we're back online and here's the URL!
Backpack Girl!
My shining star
Backpack Girl!
Be my avatar
Your hair don't need no curl
At the Pool with me --- the pennants we'll unfurl
At the Pool with me --- the center of my world!
At the Poooool with meeeee, Backpack Girrrrrl!

[Benjamin Grimm]

Hey, she and I have the same initials!

[MFS62]

="Benjamin Grimm":2uwpokzp]Hey, she and I have the same initials![/quote:2uwpokzp] Let me guess. That's the only similarity? Later

Benjamin Grimm Jun 19 2009 02:57 PM

We also have the same pert little smirk.

Ashie62 Jun 19 2009 03:29 PM

Ralph is cuter

metsguyinmichigan Jun 20 2009 09:19 AM

So far, everything is progressing as I have foreseen them...

Edgy DC Jun 20 2009 09:48 AM

Yes, Martinez sitting out a day while in transit to Buffalo definitely outdid Crawford's 0-4.

Fman99 Jun 20 2009 02:04 PM

Awesome KTE... Mets optimism has been in short supply the past couple weeks. Thanks for the boost.

metsguyinmichigan Jun 20 2009 03:31 PM Re: KTE: Tampa Bay Don't-call-me-Devil Rays

="Edgy DC":4eb5feqg] ="metsguyinmichigan":4eb5feqg]Ex-Mets: Isringhausen Bradford Dan Wheeler Kazmir, if you must.[/quote:4eb5feqg] Ahem... [/quote:4eb5feqg] Took me forever to figure out who this was. Steve Henderson, batting coach for the Rays. Advantage: Mets! No Mets coach was involved in a trade that darn near destroyed my childhood!

[Benjamin Grimm]

We also have the same pert little smirk.

[ashie62]

Ralph is cuter

[Guest metsguyinmichigan]

So far, everything is progressing as I have foreseen them...

[Guest Edgy DC]

Yes, Martinez sitting out a day while in transit to Buffalo definitely outdid Crawford's 0-4.

[Fman99]

Awesome KTE... Mets optimism has been in short supply the past couple weeks. Thanks for the boost.

[Guest metsguyinmichigan]

="Edgy DC":4eb5feqg] ="metsguyinmichigan":4eb5feqg]Ex-Mets: Isringhausen Bradford Dan Wheeler Kazmir, if you must.[/quote:4eb5feqg] Ahem... [/quote:4eb5feqg] Took me forever to figure out who this was. Steve Henderson, batting coach for the Rays. Advantage: Mets! No Mets coach was involved in a trade that darn near destroyed my childhood!