Bullet of Cool

[Frayed Knot]

The 'Bullet of Cool' is the oft-referred to (but completely non-existant) CPF Hall of Fame, a spot reserved for comments or posts cool enough, funny enough, or insightful enough to be put on a plaque for future generations to chuckle over and enjoy.

So I started jotting down some over the last month as I came across them (not literally). Unfortunately I wasn't very diligent about it but it's a start.


APRIL

Best comment to the news that McArthur Park in Syracuse had been torn down

Benjamin Grimm: I thought it had melted in the dark



Most apt reaction to the death of a Hollywood legend

bmfc1: You may now pry the gun from Charleton Heston's hands



Most caustic dismissal of a rock demi-God

smg1: The only thing Kurt Cobain did that Pete Townshend didn't do much better was self-destruct



Best job summing up Anna Benson

Nymr83: Why marry her, she'll do you anyway?



Schedenfreude Award concerning an ex-Met:

Soupcan: Glavine's been on my personal DL (douchebag list) since last September



Best Play-by-Play of a Papal visit

Willets Point: The Pope is celebrating from above second base. They were going to set him up by short-stop but Jeter refused to move.



Best comment on a celebrity sentencing

Centerfield: I hear Omar Epps is going to do the time for Wesley Snipes





I encourage others to take note of and grab those lines, quotes, or entire posts that strike their fancy as being worthy of futre consideration.

Edited May 5, 2008 by Guest

[Guest cooby]

Love all of them but the MacArthur Park one is terrific!

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

OK, the standards are set.

[Guest AG/DC]

The judge has had the good grace to not include himself, but justice must be served.

Best job summing up Roger Clemens taste in paramours apparently including an ex of notorious PGA golfer John Daly

Frayed Knot: Well, that doesn't narrow it down much.

[Frayed Knot]

One of several reasons why this shouldn't be a one man job


And actually my comment wasn't one questioning Roger's taste in paramours so much as it was a statement that saying "John Daly's ex" isn't specific enough seeing as how there are at least 3 or 4 of them.

[Frayed Knot]

MAY EDITION

Once again I'm sure there were a bunch of good posts that fell through the cracks. Maybe someone else picked up on some.



Best Expression of David Wright Man-Love

Boy Named Seo:
So Davey starts stretching out and moves closer to us. 20 feet or so, then maybe 10 feet away. The girls' jaws drop nearly to the perfectly manicured grass and I'm acting gayer than Charles Nelson Reilly



What Party Are You With?

Vic Sage:
Isn't Bob Barr the name of the elephant in some lame children's book?





From the, 'How the fuck did these people get money?' file:

Soupcan:
I had a 15 minute long conversation with this woman who was telling me that the $100,000 she and her husband spent on their son's Bar Mitzvah was really the least possible amount ... and that it was the decorations which made it an absorbitant amount to spend.

[Willets Point]

Thanks FK. Ah the memories. There was something I commented at the time should be a BOC candidate, but I can't remember who it was or what thread it was in.

[soupcan]

Yeah I forgot about this thread - Gotta remember it the next time Fman wants to punch someone in the neck. Or some other part of their anatomy...

[Theoldmole]

These are wonderful, and deserving of Hall of Fame status.

[Willets Point]

I did a search and found it:

"I feel all tingly when you talk to me like an Eastern European beauty innocent of baseball and its cruel vicissitudes." - AG/DC (Source)

[Elster88]

KC wrote: Yesterday I swapped in a new window air conditioner in the bedroom and when I put on YES this afternoon in there it was all garbled and choppy too. Slapped a good surge protector/power conditioner on the outlet that the new ac and that tv is on and everything works fine all over the house.

="metirish"]Nothing like Michael Kay to get things going in the bedroom.

[Farmer Ted]

Funny, the Teds saw Mr. Met a few sections over in the upper deck early in the game. Little Ted was looking all over for him after that. We didn't see him again until the renowned t-shirt launch. Wonder if it all went down in the vacinity of the CPF crew.

[Guest themetfairy]

No way! Kase would have been watching Mr. Met's back, for sure.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Vic Sage on text messaging:

]i'd pay extra if i could get a phone that responded to all texters with a message along the following lines: "thank you for your half-assed attempt to communicate with me. since you have a phone in your hands, feel free to use it next time. It'll save wear n tear on your thumbs, and prevent the further corruption of the English language arising from the repeated replacement of words with cute little symbols and abbreviations. Have a nice day :)"

[bmfc1]

Thank you for this honor FK!

[Frayed Knot]

JUNE EDITION



Rant of the Month

Seawolf:
IT'S NOT JOE FUCKING TORRE. It's the Dodgers, it's the first weekend of the summer, it's a million things. You see Joe Fucking Torre shirts in the crowd? Yankee hats? NO. You see Mets hats, and Keith Fucking Hernandez shirts, and Russ Martin shirts for the Dodger fans, and Ricky Fucking Otero shirts (Yes, I saw one yesterday afternoon). Those are Mets fans, Joe & joe.
Mets fans. I know ... stunning! Mets fans?!? In New York?!? But this is Yankee Country! These must all be Joe Torre fans! It has nothing at all to do with the last year of the ballpark, or Johan Santana pitching, or the fact that the team has won 4 of 5, or because we all have man-curshes on David Wright. It's all Joe Fucking Torre.




When's the Schnitzelgruben vendor coming by?

Vic Sage:
The gray monolithic-type design of the new Yankee Stadium recalls the Nuremburg rallies. A sort of art deco-fascist motif ... the sort of place you could imagine hosting a great big book burning.
Whatever one may thing of the faux nostalgia of the new CitiField, at least it doesn't make one feel like goose stepping.



The Safety First award

MFS'62:
You may be thinking it's not safe to go boating alone ...but those of us who remember Lynda Carter know that she was fully equipped with a magnificent set of flotation devices



Can't anyone here play this game - in ANY season?

GfaFiF:
Richard Todd was going to come [to Shea's Jet Appreciation Day] but he was intercepted on the way




Clutch gifts that keep on giving

Met Irish:
Jeter has things that simple stats can't measure, like herpes

[Guest AG/DC]

I explode the quality-out-of-quantiy theory, don't I?

[MFS62]

(Chanelling Yogi Berra)
"I'd like to thank everyone who made this award necessary".

Thanks, FK

Later

[Centerfield]

Ben Grimm:

Maybe I'm nuts, but I smell a back-to-back from Delgado.

Delgado would later hit 2 HR's, a double and drive in 9.

[Benjamin Grimm]

I really shoulda bought a lottery ticket that day.

[Guest AG/DC]

No July edition. No August edition.

I have to check on my subscription.

[Benjamin Grimm]

It's hard to be cool during the summer.

[metirish]

So funny.

] I wonder if Valadius is embarrassed that a toddler outdoes him when it comes to nicknames with staying power

[Frayed Knot]

We weren't very cool in July or August.
Plus a severe lack of contributions.

[Fman99]

Frayed Knot wrote: We weren't very cool in July or August. Plus a severe lack of contributions.

I'm doing my best.