SNY One Sentence Commercial Summaries, 2014

[Fman99]

Hey, smoker, you're heart is about to burst open out of your chest and squirt goo like a chicken Kiev.

[HahnSolo]

Totally annoying redhead eats nothing but Wendys.

[TransMonk]

6666666...riding with the devil.

[Fman99]

Surly child warms to parent at the sight of Rickey Henderson's shoes.

[Zvon]

If you can paint you can make a pizza.

[TransMonk]

Beagle busts bed bugs for Bell.

[Lefty Specialist]

Steve surreptitiously subsidizes suds statewide.

[Ceetar]

Transvaginal Mesh was a bad idea and you should sue!

[Zvon]

That lady carried around a skillet her whole life!


Hmmm, Velveda.

[MFS62]

Motivational speakers tell lies.

Later

[Centerfield]

Asshole judgmental doctor comes in and tells patient he is going to die.

[G-Fafif]

Creepy adult kidnaps child who is forced to be impressed by Rickey Henderson's cleats.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

EYE words on screen ROSE words on screen GROWLING MOUTH words on screen CASINO!

[Fman99]

Fat oaf buys shitty engagement ring, then reconsiders choice of office supply provider.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Your friends are only friends with you because of your Citi card.

[Centerfield]

Fuckheads at Lee's Toyota think it's a good idea to advertise on Mets games with ugly chick in MFY gear.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Is that chick really ugly? She's no Hillside Honda girl but there's something to her amateur quality and the cheapness that I like (that's not really MFY gear but a cheap costume used by adverrtisiers who can't afford to pay for official gear. You can tell irl she probably works as a receptionist at the dealership, or her uncle is Lee himself, or something. I kinda like her long black hair.

[Ceetar]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Is that chick really ugly? She's no Hillside Honda girl but there's something to her amateur quality and the cheapness that I like (that's not really MFY gear but a cheap costume used by adverrtisiers who can't afford to pay for official gear. You can tell irl she probably works as a receptionist at the dealership, or her uncle is Lee himself, or something. I kinda like her long black hair.

It's blue pinstripes. In New York. My wife looked up and asked "why is she wearing Yankees stuff?"

[Edgy MD]

I watched the Braves feed. You guys should be psyched you got to see Lee's Toyota commercials.

[G-Fafif]

Low man on the totem pole tasked with purchasing office doughnuts believes only he and his rewards card accrue vacation time, unaware that company big shots probably have more and can go to more exotic beaches given their tenure and compensation.

[Centerfield]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Is that chick really ugly? She's no Hillside Honda girl but there's something to her amateur quality and the cheapness that I like (that's not really MFY gear but a cheap costume used by adverrtisiers who can't afford to pay for official gear. You can tell irl she probably works as a receptionist at the dealership, or her uncle is Lee himself, or something. I kinda like her long black hair.

To be honest, I can't remember what she looks like. But she was wearing MFY-ish gear, and to me, that is ugly. We're going to have to see her nude to get an objective analysis.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

The crazy thing about Cindy from Lee's Toyota is her versatility. Look how she pulls off these appeals to different ethnic demographics! A pillar of honesty and integrity.

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[A Boy Named Seo]

Is this Hillside Honda girl??

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[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

No, the Hillside Honda girl flirts with a fat guy outside the dealership. The next year, the two of them are in a living room together, leading you to believe they hooked up good.

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[A Boy Named Seo]

Get it, son.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

"Naw, I'd like to check out Hillside Honda-dot-com" is, like, the "I love you'... 'I know'" of the late-aughts Jamaica set, is it not?

[Zvon]

Chloe hacks my PC to let me know that Jack is a hero.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

I kinda also have feelings for that Xerox babe. I'd like to jam per paper tray.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

It's like every commercial is a boner-drug commercial for you, bud.

[Zvon]

OOO.Hey, good for you Grandy. That was more like a push than a touch.