KTE: MFY II, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

[Fman99]

Ah, the beauty of the inner monologue.

CATCHER:


"You may remember me from such films as To Not Hit or Field in L.A. and Tool of Ignorance."

FIRST BASE:


"Mama always said, stupid is as stupid does."

SECOND BASE:


"Yeah, I spelled 42 backwards, so what, you wanna fight about it?"

THIRD BASE:


"See that chick up in the fourth row with the broad shoulders? I'm taking her home tonight. Yeah, I'm sure that's a chick."

SHORTSTOP:


"Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig never shilled for shitty American auto manufacturers? Am I still a Yankee legend?"

LEFT FIELD:


"I'm so old my momma went to breastfeed me and she lifted up her boob and a pilgrim fell out."

CENTER FIELD:


"Can't get the song out of my head... 'The Grandy Man Can, oh THE GRANDY MAN CAN!'"

RIGHT FIELD:


"In retrospect, sleeping with Suzyn Waldman was not a good idea. It was a TREMENDOUS idea."

Pitching Matchups:

Friday - Jon Niese vs:


"Have I ever pitched here before? I can't misremember."

Saturday: Chris Young vs:


"My mama is so ugly, I pushed her face into dough and made gorilla cookies."

Sunday: R.A. Dickey vs:


"Hey, are you going to finish those?"

DH: Not allowed, playing actual baseball this weekend
Bench: Not pictured, who cares
Bullpen: Fuck them

Notable DL:


"Hey, can someone swim down to the bottom of the deep end, see what that is? What the hell is that? Jeez, looks like a bag of leaves or something."

[Lefty Specialist]

Fell out of my chair at Mariano.

[Guest themetfairy]

Great stuff, my friend

[TransMonk]

Nice job!

[Frayed Knot]

Couple of things I've noticed recently:

** This one ties in nicely with the discussion in another thread over older players earning (or not) their money towards the end of their contracts.
ARod's Isolated Slugging Avg over the last five seasons
2007 - 331
2008 - 271
2009 - 246
2010 - 236
2011 - 185
2012 - 157

That's not a brief statistical oddity or even a mere downward trend folks, that's a sustained plummet!

IsoP, for those not aware, is Slg Avg minus BA -- otherwise known as a hitters slugging pct if you take all his singles out. It more accurately shows a player's power as singles, even bunt singles, show up as increased power in standard Slg Pct, but only extra base hits increase one's IsoP
For some perspective, Josh Hamilton is right now at an MLB-best of 343 while Adam Dunn, Ryan Braun, David Ortiz and Mark Trumbo are the only other ones currently north of 300. League average sits at exactly 150

So basically the guy who turns 37 in a few weeks is currently sporting a mediocre BA (.265) and slightly above-average slugging augmented by a still-good walk rate. He's also slowed down tremendously (single digit steals per/year) and is DH-ing more than 1/4 of the time. But, hey, he's only on the hook for the rest of this season plus five more at $129 million minimum (cuz who knows how and when those "bonuses" kick in).

As far as his future record breaking feats? Sure he's at 640 HRs - but it was nearly two full years ago when he reached 600 (July 2010)



** Those who dared to suggest in public that Captain Clutch was showing his age during his bad second half in 2010 and similar front half of 2011 were told to shut up by all the worshippers when he got hot again in the back half of 2011 and the familiar strains of 'he can do it when he needs to' were dusted off and trumpeted. HIs great start this season seemed to suggest once again that he was ageless.
Yeah, not so fast there suck-up breath:
April -- .389/.433/.579 XBH = 10
May -- .293/.339/.353 XBH = 5
June -- .247/.318/.351 XBH = 4
Also tied for 2nd in GiDP
Also turns 38 on Tuesday

[Edgy MD]

That's welcome news, but let's focus our hope on the the Mets not being the team that turns them around.

[Guest Swan Swan H]

I don't know them any better, but do I really want to? Fine stuff, FMan.

[Ceetar]

And Jeter still 'plays' SS. He's the king of the home-scored (or legacy-scored?) infield error for a hit because it has so much crappy spin on it from him hitting it badly that it's hard to field or get to.

I imagine A-Rod will have a couple of weeks where he looks almost normal, the weather heats up, the wind currents at YS carry some.. but yeah, that'll be fun for them as the long hot summer wears on the older players right?

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Texiera's got a sore achilles and heel pain that kept him out of action yesterday. He says he'll be better Friday but can assure you even if he is he won't be "all better."

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

My medal winners:
3) Gorilla cookies
2) Boob pilgrims
1) Mariano. Always.

[Ceetar]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Texiera's got a sore achilles and heel pain that kept him out of action yesterday. He says he'll be better Friday but can assure you even if he is he won't be "all better."

achilles? That's what Ryan Howard had. They injected him with cortisone to make him better, but there's thoughts it might've contributed to the tear.

just saying.

[Frayed Knot]

ARod's HR yesterday was one of those 317 ft YSIII specials on a day with both a helping wind and nearly 100 degrees.
The call from the Atlanta announcers started out as; "popped to right ... "



Teixeira's problem isn't his tendon really but that Heyward smoked a liner off his heel on Tuesday (Tex missed the "ole" stab).
He PH'd a double yesterday and stayed in the game for the 9th on defense but wasn't moving around great.

[Guest metsguyinmichigan]

Bad ass ratings on this one:

5 points! "See that chick up in the fourth row with the broad shoulders? I'm taking her home tonight. Yeah, I'm sure that's a chick."

5 points: "In retrospect, sleeping with Suzyn Waldman was not a good idea. It was a TREMENDOUS idea."

5 points: "Have I ever pitched here before? I can't misremember."

4 points: "My mama is so ugly, I pushed her face into dough and made gorilla cookies."

Outstanding job!!!!!

[MFS62]

Great KTE.
But you went too soft on Jeter.
Are you sure you never got a gift bag with an autographed picture from him?
Or did Jeter go soft on you?
Later

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Frayed Knot wrote: Teixeira's problem isn't his tendon really but that Heyward smoked a liner off his heel on Tuesday (Tex missed the "ole" stab). He PH'd a double yesterday and stayed in the game for the 9th on defense but wasn't moving around great.

Shit. He deserves more lingering pain than that.

[metirish]

Funny as ever Fman.....


bring them on!

[Zvon]

classic!

[Edgy MD]

Proof is in the pudding, though. If we get our asses kicked again, it's the fault of this thread and the lack of non-penis knowledge it offers.

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

Edgy DC wrote: Proof is in the pudding, though. If we get our asses kicked again, it's the fault of this thread and the lack of non-penis knowledge it offers.

Talk about being dicked over.

[ashie62]

Great stuff..too bad the MFY'S own us

we are talking the talk.............

[Edgy MD]

I speak humbly as one whose Redthread initiated serious sweepage, as well as cripplage to Jason Bay.

BOOOOO, MEEEE!!

[G-Fafif]

There are tears and they are in my eyes.

[bmfc1]

Ashie62 wrote: Great stuff..too bad the MFY'S own us we are talking the talk.............

Speaking of "talking the talk":
http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/mets/mets_closer_eggs_on_subway_rival_UcipHrp4Oqcmzsl0lwhXbM

[Lefty Specialist]

Ay Caramba, FrankFrank. They're going to crush you. Either that or you'll walk them with the bases loaded.

[TransMonk]

Yeah, It hough FF would be smarter than that.

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

Yankees fans are bad at geography.

[Ceetar]

Mets � Willets Point wrote: Yankees fans are bad at geography.

Not to defend Yankees fans here..but this is quite the stretch. (and google shows me 206 for Fenway versus 200 for Camden Yards, making it even closer)

I would've guessed Boston as well.

[metsmarathon]

And while the actual win-loss columns may not represent it, we at least know Yankee fans are bad at something

well, we already knew they were bad at life. but this is nice to know also.

google is giving you driving distance, not actual distance.

[Ceetar]

metsmarathon wrote: And while the actual win-loss columns may not represent it, we at least know Yankee fans are bad at something well, we already knew they were bad at life. but this is nice to know also. google is giving you driving distance, not actual distance.

yeah, but why would anyone off the top of their head know actual distance? We always work with driving distance. in fact, you look at said map and it probably gives you driving distance between major cities. And I bet 95% of the people asked thought "well, it takes about 4 hours to get to Boston..probably takes a little more to DC..Baltimore's right outside..so DC is probably father"

[Benjamin Grimm]

Crows would probably know the actual distance.