pat flood's fanhood is for sale.

[Guest attgig]

pat flood's blog was refered to here previously on david wright week, and i've been reading since.

he's now put up a craigslist ad for his fanhood here


Hi there, baseball teams. Listen up - I have an offer for you.

Let me make this very clear: I'm a Met fan, and I always have been. My father is a Met fan and thus I was raised a Met fan. I went to my first baseball game at Shea Stadium, may she rest in peace, and I was there when they closed her down and there when they opened up Citi Field. I've been with the team, both in times both good and bad - I saw the Todd Pratt home run and Tom Glavine give up 7 runs in the first inning of game 162. I've made a lifelong fan-commitment to the Mets - a sacred bond - and I don't want to just throw that away for nothing.

But I can't take this anymore. The Mets, my dear Mets? They don't take care of themselves like they used to - always getting hurt and showing up out of shape. I remember long ago when it was fun, with Piazza, Alfonzo, and Bobby V - even Benny Agbayani. But now? They turn everything into an argument. Beltran didn't have the team's permissions to have surgery, then he did, then he didn't again. I don't know what they're thinking anymore, or who is even in charge. Is it a Wilpon? Which one? What is Omar's role now, anyway? They can barely even look at me, and when I ask them about it, they blame it on the Dodgers medical staff. I try to talk to them about our problems, and I end up hearing from John Ricco instead. It's like I'm just a piece of meat to them, like they just want me to buy their tickets and then there going to throw me away. They come home late at night, without calling, smelling like Shake Shack and covered in Dodgers memorabilia - how do you think that makes me feel? And the parking? Sometimes it cost more than the tickets. Again, I still love this team as the one I grew up with, and I always will, but enough is enough.

And don't get me started on the empty promises. First, they promised in 2007 that "Our Season Had Come." Well, that worked out great didn't it - was that what you had in mind Mets? That was "our season?" Then they told me they fixed everything in 2008, that they were a changed team, that things were going to be different this time. And who was left standing in the stands alone on game 162 again? I was. And finally, in 2009, they said they had fixed everything again. K-Rod and Putz would fix the bullpen and that was all we would need. And, like the romantic sap I am, I believed them. And they broke my heart. They broke my heart.

So I'm here on craigslist looking for another team to have a fan-affair with - not a permanent thing, just until the Mets clean themselves up and stop embarrassing themselves. Major League, Minor League, Independent League, Little League - I'm not picky. There's simply no romance with the Mets anymore - I remember when I would come home and there would be a Carlos Beltran or a Johan Santana waiting for me. Now? I get a Bengie Molina. What the hell am I even supposed to do with that? A 35-year-old catcher with a .285 OBP? What's that even good for? Am I supposed to use him as an ottoman or something? It's like they're not even pretending to try.

So, baseball teams, here I am. I'm thinking short term, NSA, or at least until the Wilpons sell the team. Obviously, this needs to be kept on the DL - DL as in the "down low", not where the Mets keep their roster - because the Mets are my first love, and they will always have a place in my heart. However, I also can't waste my life hoping and waiting for them to change. I need the fire, the spark, the excitement again. I want to feel like my team cares about me, I want to feel like they actually want me around. A torrid summer affair? A spring-fall romance? Why not? You could fly me out, buy me dinner, give me good seats - maybe even some post-game fireworks? Because really, I miss the fireworks most of all. Come on teams - make me an offer for my fandom, and we'll see where it takes us.

KC Royals need not apply.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Good riddance to Pat Floyd, whoever he or she is.

When the Mets win again, whenever that is, don't expect us to welcome you back.

[MFS62]

There may be some very eloquent and supportive comments about Pat's feelings.

I'll try to snap you back to reality by channelling a Mets fan who has read that a fellow fan is jumping ship, even temporarily.

Y'ready? It is much more traditional.
Here it goes.

"Hey numb nuts. Don't let the door hit 'ya in the ass on the way out, you fuckin' turncoat!"



Later

[Benjamin Grimm]

To tell you the truth, I stopped reading at "But I can't take this anymore."

I'm so sick of the angst. I can't take it anymore!

[Frayed Knot]

1) I agree, good riddance

2) This idea of publicly offering up your fandom isn't even remotely original

3) Fans who treat marketing slogans as "promises" deserve all the disappointment that can be heaped upon them with several dump-trucks

[metirish]

Jeez , talk about feeling self important....FU Patrick Flood(it's Flood right?)

I'm with Grim , so sick of the angst , yeah I participated in it a bit but I got over it .It's like this every year I suppose although it seems worse this year.


Oh it gets worse....cos I actually read this bile


So that's what I've got. I'm hoping I'll get at least a few offers, at least from some minor league teams. I think the Red Sox would be the smoothest transition for me, because I already live in New England, I already hate the Yankees, I'm already Irish (and "The Departed" taught me that everyone in Boston is Irish and excessively violent), and my grandfather was a Red Sox fan - I figure it's in my blood. Plus, cheating with a team in another league isn't really cheating, right? Right?

Patrick Flood I have learned form reading his blog is a moron, an excessively idiotic moron.

[Fman99]

The best thing about 2009 so far is that it weeds out the weak kneed pansies like this. You can't take it? There's a big bandwagon one borough over, hop on board and leave the real Mets fans alone.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Problem is that they invariably come back. Just as soon as the success ratio turns.

[Guest attgig]

Jeez , talk about feeling self important....FU Patrick Flood(it's Flood right?)[/quote:crleul9n]

woops, you're right.

[Willets Point]

*yawn*

[Gwreck]

Didn't even bother reading. Should know (or care) who Pat Flood is?

[G-Fafif]

Shtick is shtick and so forth, but if you really didn't want to be a Mets fan, you'd probably forego the blogging about the Mets, particularly a blog you began in November 2009 when the Mets' front office ineptitude was no secret. You'd probably just go about your business ignoring the Mets.

[Guest Number 6]

Holy crap, it's a joke. It may not be funny, but I'm not sure it's worth being hot and bothered about.

[Guest Edgy DC]

My problem is the culture of angst and betrayal that empowers such nonsense. As if failure, injury, disappontment, misassesment, and starting over aren't the norm.

[Guest Number 6]

Metly goings-on over the past few seasons (last season especially) are hard to characterize as part of a normal cycle for a sports franchise.

Nonetheless, I absolutely grant that the level of hysteria is exaggerated and annoying; every year brings a new season and the possibility for renewal, and I'd rather read analysis then incessant whining. It just seems obvious to me that this guy isn't serious about giving up his fandom, and is using his space to try and be funny about the Mets going in a direction that he's not proud of. I understand his intentions, even if his argument is emotional and he's failing at actually being funny.

The guy's not a heretic, he's just an unexceptional writer.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Metly goings-on over the past few seasons (last season especially) are hard to characterize as part of a normal cycle for a sports franchise.[/quote:21sw9ebr]
I diasagree. They just get blown out of proportion and responded to as if it was new.

Specifics --- losses on the last day, shirts (allegedly) torn off... that's different. In general though --- the records, losing a season every few years to injuries, former goldenchild employees being fired, failed contracts, minor scandals --- these things happen all the time. All the time and everywhere.

It's like the fourth alleged fan mutiny this decade. Enough. It's actually the specifics that make it fun.

[Guest Number 6]

I diasagree. They just get blown out of proportion and responded to as if it was new.

Specifics --- losses on the last day, shirts (allegedly) torn off... that's different. In general though --- the records, losing a season every few years to injuries, former goldenchild employees being fired, failed contracts, minor scandals --- these things happen all the time. All the time and everywhere.

It's like the fourth alleged fan mutiny this decade. Enough. It's actually the specifics that make it fun.[/quote:2v4re712]

I'm not sure I understand. I get that teams go through cycles with all or many of the general aspects you mention. Are you arguing that this particular down cycle was no worse than a typical MLB iteration? If that's the case I disagree, but I'll leave it there because I'm not sure I have the heart to enumerate why; plus I think the forum has already had this conversation elsewhere.

Even if we granted that this was the worst down cycle ever (which I do think is far from the truth), I agree that it wouldn't justify the whiny "fan mutiny," as you aptly put it. I would have no problem though, as here, with some fan humorists poking exasperated fun at it.

[ashie62]

Pat McGroin

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

He's been a very informative and somewhat amusing read-- and, seemingly, a relatively level head-- on those few occasions when I've checked him out.

I'll chalk this up to an amateur bloggist finding his sea legs and taking an inadvertent tide-borne stumble into the hack's nest.

If this is any indication, he should probably shtick to writing when he actually "feels it." (David Wright Week was pretty uniformly excellent.)

[Ceetar]

The best thing about 2009 so far is that it weeds out the weak kneed pansies like this. You can't take it? There's a big bandwagon one borough over, hop on board and leave the real Mets fans alone.[/quote:1vqaey5l]

While it's nice to not have to deal with bandwagon idiots, I'd rather welcome them and the money they bring, because Mets financial success does tie into their on field success. I'd rather run into an ignorant whiny Mets fan on the train than a uninformed bandwagon Yankees fan.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

I'd rather run into an ignorant whiny Mets fan on the train than a uninformed bandwagon Yankees fan.

Not me.

I like my MFY fans stupid. Real stupid.

[seawolf17]

I'd rather run into an ignorant whiny Mets fan on the train than a uninformed bandwagon Yankees fan.

Not me.

I like my MFY fans stupid. Real stupid.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Exactly, what's one more stupid MFY muthafucka. Meantime, there's already too many ignoramuses walking around allegedly supporting the Mets.

[Guest Edgy DC]

If the way we expect the Mets to flourish is through the steady cash infusions of the stupid and the weak-spirited, then we deserve the grief we get.

A positive culture attracts the bright and uplifits the ignorant.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Dumb Mets fans... well, hell, it's not brain surgery, it's sports rootin'. Welcome abordick, and walk lightly.

Weak-spirited Mets fans? Mets fans who are spiritual kin with MFY fans? Either of the two, with a mouth on 'em? Step this way, just up against the wall, there.