Wifey Watch 2006

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

They "flashed" the photos on Mets.com, I'm not sure how to steal those either.

Gentlemen, this is at once the Greatest Day in Wifey Watch History but also our Most Critical.

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

Edgy, check your e-mail. I'm sending you a photo of Kerri Heilman.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Hey, some chick just e-mailed me her photo!

[metirish]

Erin is quite a looker..

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

Edgy, check your e-mail again. Erika and Erin are waiting there for you.

[Guest Edgy DC]

My stars.

[Guest Rockin' Doc]

I had faith that once our more computer literate members got on the case, we would have our much sought after pictures of the three ladies.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Well, we may have to put the ladies through a painful de-graining process.

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

It can't be any worse than going through waxing.

[Guest cooby]

Now that's a thread stopping comment

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

I like that Jay Horwitz is actively against the whole WW phenomenon. There's definitely something wrong with what we're trying to accomplish here, and I love that.

[Guest Edgy DC]

I apllied to to the Mets for a press credential
I told them that I wrote for MetsOnlineEssential
I stay up all night, posting for my homies
But the sucka from Missouri called me out and said "Show Me!"

I wasn't taking that, said "Lemme talk to Jay!"
So he put me in the hold queue, I've ben there all day.
In wait for Jay Horowitz, institutional enigma
"O, Enigmatic Institution, relieve me of this stigma!"

'Cuz it ain't about the sneakers!
Turn up the speakers!
It ain't about the sneakers!
Turn up the speakers!

(Take it, but don't break it.)

[patchyfogg]

Johnny Dickshot wrote: I like that Jay Horwitz is actively against the whole WW phenomenon. There's definitely something wrong with what we're trying to accomplish here, and I love that.

Do we have a "Confirmed Bachelor" picture?

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

You mean, this guy?

[A Boy Named Seo]

Wifey Watch alert!

Pedro apparently secretly wed this offseason to a journo named Carolina Cruz!

Initial searches point to the lovely lady clad in mauve(?) as the new Mrs. Martinez.



Edit:

Even bettah. And she works for ESPN Deportes.



Nice catch, Pedro. And nice catch, Carolina.

[Willets Point]

Wait a minute! Carolina Cruz is catching for Pedro this year? I've heard of personal catchers but this is ridonculous!!!!

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

Take it from Pedro: Nothin could be finah than to be in Carolina

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

JD - I'm offended and LMAO at the same moment.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Pedro should've sent us a release.

The Wifey Watch cup runneth over.

[nymr83]

]You mean, this guy?

i like the Cosmo Kramer one better, i mean hey its Kramer!

[Guest Edgy DC]

]Another nice feature about the photographer�s area was that it put me right next to the ESPN crew � and their sideline commentator Carolina Cruz. Carolina Cruz is my dream come true. Not only is she very beautiful, intelligent and very nice (I was able to briefly chat with her backstage prior to game time), but she also is really into the baseball part of her job. I was especially impressed tonight to see that she has her own scorebook and dutifully notes each on-field play as it unfolds. Watching her intently mark a run-scoring 6-4-3 double play, or a fielder�s choice with the runner advancing on a throwing error by the shortstop, I knew that I was in the presence of one of the world�s most perfect women. As it turns out, I only made it to about the third inning in the photographers� box before some lens-head showed up, noted my puny point-and-shoot Olympus, and demanded to see my photographer�s credential. When I couldn�t produce one, he demanded that I cede my seat to him, and so it was back to standing room. --- Jon Clark, an American living in Mexico and photographing the 2005 Caribbean Series.

[Frayed Knot]

Pedro's marriage was hardly a secret.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Sold to Cubs	Added to Roster?	Designated for Assignment	Signed to Minor-League Contracts, Invited to Camp
Outfielders	Relief Pitchers	Outfielders	Relief Pitchers		Catchers
Pagan	Ring	Redman	Gonzalez	Santiago	Gina Estalella
Invited to Camp
Starting Pitchers	Relief Pitchers			Catchers
Scobie	Cova	Kwon Hyun-jung (Koo)	Lavigne	Butera	Clements
Catchers				Infielders	Outfielders
Flores	Hathaway	Shay (Unterreiner) Hietpas	Wilson	Harper	Milledge
Invited to Camp	Captured on Film			Photo Upgraded	Just Married!
Outfielders	Starting Pitchers	Relief Pitchers		Infielders	Starting Pitchers
Self	Kerri Heilman	Nicole (Wong) Bell	Ericka Padilla	Erin (McCaffrey) Woodward	Carolina Cruz (Martinez)

Obviously, a lot of these unknowns are going to come up single when we get the media guides. But who knows? Hietpas is married, and he's like 15 years old.

Twenty-Five-Wife Roster
Starting Pitchers
Christine Glavine	Kerri Heilman	Carolina Cruz (Martinez)	Sarah Trachsel	Zambrano
Relief Pitchers
Jenny Bradford	Iriki	Tewuy (Iriarte) Julio	Ericka Padilla	Carrie Sanchez
Relief Pitchers	Catchers		Infielders
Sarah Quesenberry Wagner	Brenda Castro	Sonia Lo Duca	http://www.charlenelockwood.com/Images/BetzaidaGarciaDelgadotoBe.jpg Betzaida Garcia (Delgado)	Rosa Franco
Infielders
Mio Matsui	Reyes	Ilka Valentin	Erin (McCaffrey) Woodward	Wright
Outfielders
Jessica Lugo (Beltran)	Chavez	Diaz	Maryanne Manning (Floyd)	Nady Lady

Others on the 40-Wife Roster
Starting Pitchers				Relief Pitchers
Bannister	Humber	Lindstrom	Jackie Brown (Last Known Paramour of Mike Pelfrey)	Nicole (Wong) Bell
Relief Pitchers
Fortunato	Garcia	Maine	Owens	Perez
Relief Pitchers		Infielders		Outfielders
Ring	Schmoll	Wylie	Hernandez	Keppinger

Designated for Assignment

Outfielders

Redman

Also in Wifey Camp
Starting Pitchers			Relief Pitchers
Melissa Oliver	Scobie	http://irisharts.org/Images/question-mark.gif Anna Laura Soler	Wanda Feliciano	Gonzalez
Relief Pitchers
Lavigne	Parra	Jennifer Perisho	Santiago	Lisa Venafro
Catchers
Butera	Clements	Gina Estalella	Flores	Hathaway
Catchers			Infielders
Shay (Unterreiner) Hietpas	http://irisharts.org/Images/question-mark.gif S. Martinez	Wilson	Suzi Boone	Harper

[soupcan]

Were Nicole (Wong) Bell and Keri Heilman in a hospital room together?

[Guest Edgy DC]

You know it. And now it's preserved for eternity.

Selected Great and Notorious Moments in Wifey Watch History

1. 1963: In a event recounted many times over the years, a lesser experienced Ralph Kiner, pressed for a useful topic to discuss with a taciturn Choo Choo Coleman on Kiner�s Korner, asks Coleman what his wife�s name is and what she likes, only to be curtly told, �Her name�s Mrs. Coleman and she likes me, Bub.�



2. 1964: For the first of 189 times, Bob Murphy describes the baseball off season as �Honeydew Season,� when his lovely wife Joy continually tells him, �Honey, dew this. Honey, dew that.�



3. 1969: After losing game one of the World Series, the upstart Mets are cheered on in game two by Nancy Seaver, Ruth Ryan, Lynn Dyer and Melanie Pfeil (Met wives all), carrying a �LET�S GO METS!� banner in the enemy territory of Baltimore�s Memorial Stadium.



4. 1973: An upstart Mets team advances to the World Series. An unkind Charles Finley arranges that the Mets wives and families see their husbands at this fine hour from the very worst seats of the Oakland Coliseum.



5. 1975: Cleon Jones is caught in a van in St. Petersburg supposedly being husbandly with a woman not his wifey. M. Donald Grant arranges a public apology by Cleon with the spurned Mrs. Mrs. Mrs. Jones next to him.



6. 1977: Met legend Tom Seaver is traded as part of the fallout of a salary dispute, a fire fanned in part by a Dick Young editorial alleging that Seaver�s wife Nancy was jealous of Ruth (wife of former Met Nolan) Ryan having more spending money than her due to her husband�s contract with California.



7. 1984: In the midst of their first division race in nearly a decade, the Mets trade at the deadline for Ray Knight. Knight, married to legendary golfer Nancy Lopez (also known as Nancy Lopez-Knight) since 1982, becomes the first Met married to someone more famous than himself. Lopez was born in Roswell, NM, and may well have alien DNA, which would make Knight also the first Met married to someone with alien DNA.



8. 1986: Mets openly rebel in the post-season against GM Frank Cashen, who won�t let them take their wifeys on the plane to Houston. (Or from?) Keith Hernandez jokingly insists that his wife get to come, despite being in the midst of an ugly divorce.



9. 1987: Lee Mazzilli weds the former Dani Folquet, hostess of the popular New York newsmagazine program PM Magazine, making him, um, the first person to marry a semi-famous chick while a Met. She pretty much ends her career, but Mazzilli foreshadows future Mets like Scott Erickson and Pedro Martinez, who also married toothy women on the fringes of broadcast journalism.



10. 1988: Edgy DC carries the winning banner at the Mets annual Banner Day, thanks in part to the judgment of Margie Backman, who eyes DC like he was made of candy.



11. 1990: Darryl Strawberry. Wife. Gun. Yikes. Cops? Please.



12. 1996: Mets appoint Bobby Valentine manager. Valentine is the husband of the former Mary Branca, daughter of long-time Dodger pitcher Ralph Branca, most well known for infamously yielding a pennant-winning homerun to Bobby Thompson in 1951.



13. 2004: Mets Kris Benson is acquired in an unpopular deadline trade made more unpopular by a very very unpopular deal that occurred the same day. Along with Kris comes a publicity-saavy wife who enjoys playing the part of a sex symbol. As the season winds down in a frustrating manner, longtime Mets public relations officer and vice president Jay Horowitz is astonished to be interrupted in the middle of media dealings by Ms. Benson presenting him with the gift of a small dog.



14. 2005: As a guest on Howard Stern, Kris Benson�s wife Anna declares that if she were to find that her husband had cheated on him, she pay him back in kind and then some, vowing to sleep with the entire Mets team, coaching staff, trainers and clubhouse men included. As intended, this comment gets Anna reams of publicity to help advance her career as a� what, again?



15. 2005: Former Mets announcer Steve Zabriskie visits the Crane Pool, revealing, among other things, that Rusty Staub � Met legend, long-time bachelor, and his former booth colleague � has been holding a torch for Mrs. Zabriskie for decades.

[Theoldmole]

Vecsey on Anna:

]I've met some bright and outspoken baseball wives, like Arlene Howard, who raised racial issues that her husband, Elston, could not afford to bring up when he broke in as a catcher with the Yankees in the 1950's. Anna Benson is no Arlene Howard. She went on Howard Stern and talked dirty, which is what passes for independence these days. She became known for her racy talk as well as the low-cut dress she wore to the Mets' Christmas party. A model who does not know how to dress around children is going to be a liability to an organization that likes to think of itself as a family operation. When the Mets obtained Delgado, Anna Benson could not resist speculating that fans might boo him because he had criticized United States policies in Iraq. I also caught her on a television talk show saying female reporters should not be allowed in men's locker rooms because they just wanted to peek at the players. This was not a liberated woman but somebody with a low opinion of women, including the professionals I see on the sports beat. Her husband could have told her that players can avoid modesty problems with a towel or a robe, but it sounded as if he had never told her the facts of life. Omar Minaya traded them? Good riddance.

[Elster88]

I've thought all along that Anna was simply an idiot. I thought it was a common conclusion.

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

From today's Daily News:

]How Anna stole my heart By Filip Bondy I have a tabloid confession to make: I already miss Anna Benson. Sure, Anna is naughty, and she and I agree on zero social issues (she's to the right of Tom DeLay, I'm left of Howard Dean), and there are times when she may rip her husband's teammates and general manager. But the woman can bring the stories, and that's all that really matters. That, and the E-mail. Anna does great E-mail. She happens to be a gifted writer, with an uncanny knack for description. Whenever I wrote something nasty about Anna, she always knew the right thing to say. Like this message, after I mused in print about whether Anna might show up in a low-cut flag for the national anthem at Shea: "You dirty boy. You dirty little boy. You need a spanking don't you? My crystal ball says you get spanked real good. Bad, bad boy. You dream every night about me in that low cut dress and you are a bad, bad boy. Bend over." See what I mean? I don't get that kind of E-mail from all the other people I've maligned over the years. They just stop talking to me. But Anna is different. She has mischief for brains. And if I were the Mets, I wouldn't be altogether certain she has gone away completely. How do I know that? Another E-mail, after I'd wished her a fond farewell: "Hey! Don't worry, Kris got traded but momma didn't. Get ready to be entertained. xxxooo's anna" I came to understand Anna's news value a little late in the game, and so this is doubly frustrating for me. Just recently, Anna let me know she had signed a multi-year contract with Golden Spirit Gaming Ltd, an online gaming company. And even though this particular site has nothing to do with betting on baseball, I just know the Mets would have been squeamish about the relationship. It would have been fun to bug the Wilpons about the matter, but now there is no reason to do any such thing. You, the reader, lose again. I will remember those good, brief times, the misunderstandings, like when I called her, "Ms. Benson," and she told me in no uncertain terms she was, "Mrs. Benson." Soon, Anna will forget me and start E-mailing those Baltimore writers. Meanwhile, I will have to be satisfied with the mundane hate mail from anonymous hecklers, sent to my Internet address on a daily basis. I will be called stupid, racist, the usual things. Means nothing to me. Means nothing to me at all, anymore.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Cleared Waivers	Signed Away by Diamond-backs	Image Upgrade
Outfielders	Relief Pitchers	Starting Pitchers
Redman	Wilquidia Heredia	Ana Laura Soler

The mysterious and awkwardly named Wilquidia Heredia escapes Metville with no known photographs.

Meanwhile, a hearty welcome to America to Ana Laura Soler and Alain, Jr.

High fives all around.

Twenty-Five-Wife Roster
Starting Pitchers
Christine Glavine	Kerri Heilman	Carolina Cruz (Martinez)	Sarah Trachsel	Zambrano
Relief Pitchers
Jenny Bradford	Iriki	Tewuy (Iriarte) Julio	Ericka Padilla	Carrie Sanchez
Relief Pitchers	Catchers		Infielders
Sarah Quesenberry Wagner	Brenda Castro	Sonia Lo Duca	http://www.charlenelockwood.com/Images/BetzaidaGarciaDelgadotoBe.jpg Betzaida Garcia (Delgado)	Rosa Franco
Infielders
Mio Matsui	Reyes	Ilka Valentin	Erin (McCaffrey) Woodward	Wright
Outfielders
Jessica Lugo (Beltran)	Chavez	Diaz	Maryanne Manning (Floyd)	Nady Lady

Others on the 40-Wife Roster
Starting Pitchers				Relief Pitchers
Bannister	Humber	Lindstrom	Jackie Brown (Last Known Paramour of Mike Pelfrey)	Nicole (Wong) Bell
Relief Pitchers
Fortunato	Garcia	Maine	Owens	Perez
Relief Pitchers		Infielders		Outfielders
Ring	Schmoll	Wylie	Hernandez	Keppinger

Also in Wifey Camp
Starting Pitchers			Relief Pitchers
Melissa Oliver	Scobie	Ana Laura Soler	Wanda Feliciano	Gonzalez
Relief Pitchers
Lavigne	Parra	Jennifer Perisho	Santiago	Lisa Venafro
Catchers
Butera	Clements	Gina Estalella	Flores	Hathaway
Catchers			Infielders
Shay (Unterreiner) Hietpas	http://irisharts.org/Images/question-mark.gif S. Martinez	Wilson	Suzi Boone	Harper

[nymr83]

kerri heilman and ericka padilla on the news tonight....i say keep padilla around for his wife... the picture we have of her doesnt do her justice