2023 Brevity and Schmevity in Baseball Game Commercials

[Frayed Knot]

MLBN's non-game programming strong points start and end with Lauren Shehadi's legs.

[kcmets]

Stay off the freeways!

[Edgy MD]

Keytruda may help you with your cancer, but it will fuck you up every other single way.

[kcmets]

Don't take ___________ if you're allergic to it or any of it's ingredients or

if you are unwilling to risk the sixty-seven possible sides effects.

[kcmets]

People pay money to advertise that Jesus gets us.

[whippoorwill]

Edgy MD wrote: Keytruda may help you with your cancer, but it will fuck you up every other single way.

Yeah now half the ads don't even tell you what they're for

[Edgy MD]

The rule is, essentially, if they don't tell you what it's for, they don't have to list the side effects.



If they do tell you what it's for, look out.



But even by the standards of other advertised medications, those Keytruda ads are scary as shit. "Other possible side-effects include acid shits, rusty lung, sudden death, and unexplained forest fires. Talk to your doctor if these symptoms persist."

[whippoorwill]

Yikes.

When my sister had brain cancer there was some cancer drug that showed some woman taking long brisk walks with her husband, going to carnivals with her grandkids, etc and I just felt like throwing bricks at the tv. Many bricks, the liars.



unexplained forest fires Heehee

[MFS62]

Edgy MD wrote: But even by the standards of other advertised medications, those Keytruda ads are scary as shit. "Other possible side-effects include acid shits, rusty lung, sudden death, and unexplained forest fires. Talk to your doctor if these symptoms persist."

... "and please dispose of the package before you plotz, so we don't get sued by your family".



Later

[Chad ochoseis]

Edgy MD wrote: Big gruff African-American mechanic is openly hostile toward a genial South Asian-American colleague joining him on his donut run, because hate=funny.

This one got me wondering much more than a fifteen second spot should.



I read it as the South Asian-American missing the cues and playing third wheel as the big gruff African-American male mechanic was going on a one-on-one Dunkin run with the cute-ish African-American female mechanic. But after googling a bit, it looks like the point was that South Asian-American colleague wasn't a colleague, but a customer breaking in on the fraternity of mechanics.



If a commercial requires this much research, it doesn't work.

[Edgy MD]

Yeah, that bounced over my head.

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

The Asian guy is definitely a customer

[Frayed Knot]

I'm on the radio feed tonight, and I'm starting to get the idea that they want me to buy 'Bird Dog' brand shorts.

[Frayed Knot]

Fat girl sings and dances about diabetes medicine which she may not need if ... well, you know.

[Edgy MD]

Somebody wants to sell me athletic shorts using a lying Pinocchio, for some reason.

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

I can't take hearing the Hyundai Tucson song any longer

[kcmets]

I lay next to my wife on a yoga mat while she does her routine

and I watch porn on my smartphone.

[Frayed Knot]

Not sure which ad I'm more sick of seeing:

- the guy touting the MLB-related "games" from Bet.com (or whichever site that is)

- or Jazz Chisholm playing video games with Jeter

[Edgy MD]

Yeah. Hate and hate.



"Your voice sounds familiar. Do I know you?"



　"Just call me ... The Captain."



"Oh, I know! You're that guy who we had to get rid of before our team could be any good!!"

[batmagadanleadoff]

Those kids in the band in the 1 877 Kars4Kids commercial are the most spastic kid actors I've ever seen. And the worst actors, too. No doubt, their parents ran that commercial and that's how they got that gig,



[media=youtube]F94DBBJjzko[/media]

[MFS62]

Aggressive blond with dumb expression thinks chicken tenders came before baby back ribs.



Later

[MFS62]

The spokesperson for a health supplement company (and user of the products) could have auditioned for the part of Norman Bates' mother.

She makes me scared of even trying that stuff.



Later

[kcmets]

Freshly sliced meats vary by restaurant.

[Frayed Knot]

So let me get this straight, SUBWAY is advertising ... nay, Bragging, that they are just now! starting to slice their meat on site?!?

How is that not your starting point for a franchise whose one job is to make sandwiches?

[whippoorwill]

I'm not sure some of the subway employees I've seen should get near a meat slicer

[MFS62]

Woman happily singing that she only has a slight case of Diabetes.



Later

[kcmets]

I have never darkened a Domino's doorway, but Bacon Jalapeño

Stuffed Cheesy Bread looks and sounds quite intriguing.

[Frayed Knot]

QuickTrip is apparently the one Gas-n-Go chain that people Really enjoy working for.

[MFS62]

I had eight Urinary Track Infections in one year. Then I married my boy friend and now we make something you can use to teat Urinary Tract Infections.

Believe me. It works.

Later

[Fman99]

=kcmets post_id=137491 time=1694724073 user_id=53]
I have never darkened a Domino's doorway, but Bacon Jalapeño

Stuffed Cheesy Bread looks and sounds quite intriguing.