Edgy DC wrote: "I've loved everything about beng a Yankee, but I have my self-respect and I can't accept anything less than five years, $100 million." "Derek, our offer is on the table, it's final, and if you walk away from it, we're going give number two to the bushiest bush leaguer that stumbles out of the bush, and continually re-assign it to every scrub infielder we call up, in perpetuity. We're going to take this pile of money you're so insulted by and invest it in a real shortstop that will make fans regret every cheer they ever gave you." "Now guys, let's not get... I'm just trying to say..." "We'll release the internal documents that show how we've known all along how shit your range was, how we've carefully coordinated the spinning of your obvious limitations into graces, how Fat George's accounts had been paying off the Gold Glove voters for years." "It's just that a pay cut is..." "Have fun in Anaheim, jackass. We really hope they like that stupid jumpy-throwy thing." This post is so good, it has to be fattening.