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Fman99

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Everything posted by Fman99

  1. LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: Really, though.. if he's contrite and hereafter clean, it's not that tough to reconcile, and, frankly, not a terrible story for the kids; it might even be a good entry point to discussions about fairness and forgiveness and lying/contrition. I mean, I'm not buying my daughter a shirt, but... if it's coming at an Ike-and-Montero-shaped price? Gimme gimme. Yep. Though I'm prone to over-forgiveness for guys who hit a lot of home runs in a Mets jersey. Even those who might be, like myself, super snarky Jew douches.
  2. Edgy MD wrote: The only lesson you can take from that sort of thinking, though, is not to get up in the morning. Sure, NOW I get your advice. Real helpful.
  3. They could just give him Jorge Toca's old jersey and locker.
  4. John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: How many ex-Mets will this photo include in 3 weeks? How many Ex-Wives? Fucking athletes and their pin up girls. Makes me sick. These chicks should be dating, oh, I don't know, database engineers, let's say.
  5. Bernard Gilkey?
  6. What's the opposite of a hard on? That's what I have for Alfredo Aceves.
  7. Edgy MD wrote: New pants. He owes me NEW PANTS. Guys your age are more prone to that
  8. Those are slick.
  9. I'm getting thicker just thinking about these potential lineup improvements.
  10. I would just watch pornos.
  11. I think the Mets get all these guys.
  12. Back to golf course dating/insemination for Johan.
  13. I appreciate the metaphor of the Wilpons putting a fresh coat of paint on a waterlogged mess. Subtle.
  14. I could totally beat Reggie in a race.
  15. I was able to procure an excerpt from the Rivera book. It's riveting. As I floated to the bottom of his pool, I got a peek at the man himself. Metallica was playing in the background and he stared down at me through the water, bug skimmer in hand. I had never been more intimidated in my life. They always talk about the cutter, I never realized what it meant. He cut the snorkel line and walked away. That's when the Sandman entered my life...
  16. Comet
  17. Gwreck wrote: I guess I would root for Boston over the Cardinals but this is clearly the worst World Series matchup since Satan's Series. Yep. I'm rooting for a comet to hit Busch Stadium.
  18. Gave up too many damn home runs. Fare thee well, gopher boy.
  19. All I ever wanted to do was be a god damn honest to goodness rock star. I don't know where you draw the line. Where you say, "Hey, this is it, boys, this is what we worked for." We'd gigged for so long up and down the coast. Every shitty bar with a drink special and a view of some cove. Newport Beach. Manhattan Beach. Santa Maria. Santa Cruz. Even dipped down into Baja now and again, though lugging our shit across the border got to be a hassle. We had fans, sure. There were chicks, sure. I could tell you some stories, but I think, maybe, I'd start to sound pathetic. I thought we had a unique sound. Sort of a Black Sabbath meets Seven Mary Three meets Cat Stevens once he became that Muslim dude. I figured, one of these days, we'd break out. Tommy would pen something with a catchy hook and Ned would come up with the lyrics and then BAM! It was just a matter of time. Though it never happened that way. Sure, we put out a few albums, had one of our songs on some shitty show on the WB or the CW network or some fucking afterthought. It was something though. Like you did that! Whatever. We're still playing those songs, though I get the feeling our fans would rather hear us covering "Whipping Post" and "L.A. Woman" and the like. It's all good. Beats going back to Norristown, working in Dad's pizza joint. We shared a stage once with Radiohead. Sure, there were ten bands in between us and them, but STILL. It was something.
  20. C'mon, dude. Dinosaur Jesus knocks another one into the Shea bullpen (if only if existed).
  21. I'm rooting for the two teams that haven't won a World Series in this millennium. I feel for fans of any team that has waited 20+ years to celebrate a championship.
  22. LA in 6 Detroit in 7
  23. Those who know my full name will understand my distaste for the topic at hand.
  24. I'm Joel Youngblood and I'm here to talk with you about investments. There are many advisors out there eager to tell you what stocks to put your money into. Those men are fools. Now, it would be easy for me to tell you right here, right now, how I turned $360 and a used Dodge Dart into my multi-million dollar empire. But I'm not going to do that. Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and, well, then you're setting that guy up for a lifetime of tasty dinners. That's my hope. Invest. In fish. The Earth is 2/3 water. Everyone knows that, even an alcoholic catastrophe like Mike Bordick or a piece of crap FedEx franchisee like Jeff Kent. These guys are my neighbors and I know just what they can or cannot grasp. And here's the simple truth. There are OCEANS of marine life out there. Fish are a healthier entree option than beef, or pork, or goats or moose or whatever they eat in the God-forsaken countries of the world. Invest. IN FISH. When you subscribe to my investment strategy, you'll get eight DVD's, this handsome leather bound portfolio, these audio cassettes, which you'll be able to listen to while you're driving down to the pier off of 22nd Avenue. And, most of all, you'll get knowledge. Invest. IN FUCKING FISH. Thanks for your time. Hey, Rey Ordonez, come on down. Tell us how an investment in marine life has enriched your wallet and your soul.
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