Brevity is Wet: One Sentence Commerical Summaries, 2016

[Fman99]

New father curses his life choices in sporty, economical vehicle.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

yuck. looking harveyesque

[Zvon]

MLBtv has these baseball clips from the past:

"..and they're timing Colon with a sundial!"
Howie Rose as Colon hit a liner that went all the way to the centerfield fence. Bartolo just barely got a double.

[MFS62]

Tarzan and Jane have issues.

Later

[Fman99]

Smarmy British telly star espouses the virtues of one media carrier at the expense of other media carriers.

[Edgy MD]

Man, Gervais is over-exposed, isn't he?

[Guest themetfairy]

Obnoxious brats whom you would never want to spend any time with want you to be their teacher.

[Benjamin Grimm]

That commercial reminds me of the opening of each episode of Shameless, where the characters angrily chastise us for (allegedly) missing the previous episode.

[Guest themetfairy]

Woman marries guy who is too dumb to know to come in from the rain.

[Fman99]

John Mellencamp sells out.

[Guest Mets Willets Point]

This is more questions than summaries of the Norman Seabrook for COBA ads played constantly during the radio broadcast.

First, what exactly is Norman Seabrook "selling" with so many ads during baseball games?

Second, are the jails really the toughest precinct? On the one hand, the percentage of actual criminals is higher than anywhere else but on the other hand they are disarmed, behind bars, and under constant surveillance.

[Ceetar]

Mets – Willets Point wrote: This is more questions than summaries of the Norman Seabrook for COBA ads played constantly during the radio broadcast. First, what exactly is Norman Seabrook "selling" with so many ads during baseball games? Second, are the jails really the toughest precinct? On the one hand, the percentage of actual criminals is higher than anywhere else but on the other hand they are disarmed, behind bars, and under constant surveillance.

well, if you recall the first ad from a couple of years ago, he details exactly what these criminals did to you and your family along with the dispatch codes associated with them.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

I'm pretty sure Nawman Seabrook is a Met fan, so I wanna go easy on him, but these commercials seem to be mostly about Nawman Seabrook using union dues to promote Nawman Seabrook.

"From sea to ... shining sea"

The feds are all up in his junk with a corruption investigation as we speak.

[Edgy MD]

I'd certainly like fewer references to guys who "raped ya dawta" per game.

[Guest themetfairy]

Jerk who can't remember to lock his car is going to come home from vacation to an apartment full of pigeons.

[Guest themetfairy]

Shrill, nosy Feed The Pig woman is not persuasive and, in fact, is very scary.

[Fman99]

Bearded douche sells Chevys, unconvincingly.

[soupcan]

Been trying to figure out what park/stadium that deGrom GEICO commercial was filmed in. Anybody?

St. Lucie? Bridgeport, CT?

[Zvon]

I have never seen it.

I fire up MLBtv just in time to see the highlight commercial in which Duda throws the ball away in the WS.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I'll watch the ball hitting Canseco in the head every time though.

[Guest themetfairy]

Zvon wrote: I have never seen it.

Here's a link to it.

[Fman99]

Woman makes grouchy face while pouring Slim Fast beverage into stomach port, rues the day she ever started smoking tobacco.

[Guest d'Kong76]

I think I've been posting in the wrong thread.

[Fman99]

There are two of these. I think it's more fun to make concise, single sentence observations.

[Guest themetfairy]

Fman99 wrote: There are two of these. I think it's more fun to make concise, single sentence observations.

And there are times that I like to bitch and moan at length.

[Lefty Specialist]

Boy, is she going to be pissed when she comes home to a house full of pigeon shit.

[Guest themetfairy]

Shrewish mother wishes that the next door neighbor was her son instead of the poor sap who is stuck listening to her screaching all day.

[Centerfield]

Unlikeable couple skips right to blowoff at date's conclusion.

[Guest Rockin' Doc]

Driving a Lincoln makes you listen to bad renditions of classic southern rock.

[Centerfield]

Now you know why all the TSA agents were snickering at you.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

People drown their sorrows AND celebrate positive life changes with prefabricated Subway meats and veggies, coincidentally.