So, You Hit Powerball and Buy The Mets

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Lefty Specialist wrote: Not just let everybody have a giveaway, have BETTER giveaways. The Mets have the lamest giveaways of any team (Especially since most of the cost is paid for by, say, Gold's Horseradish or some other sponsor)

This. Explore the studio space. 3-D Print Your Own Giveaway Day. Free high-stirrup socks. Cultural nights with actual, culturally-apropos stuff (tees with "Let's Go Mets" in Mandarin, say, or a K-Pop Mr. Met figure). Folk hero rises in June? Get him a t-shirt/fake mustache/temporary facial tat night in July, motherfathers. On my watch, we run a lean, mean marketing machine.

Lefty Specialist wrote: Oh, and bring back bullpen carts.

I think you mispronounced "bullpen hovercraft, drivable by Mr. or Mrs. Met."

Mostly, though, my job will be to show up at charity initiatives, dictate giveaways/relief efforts in the wake of local tragedies, and provide silent support to my management team.

[Centerfield]

You're not going to join me on the batmobile? Some friend you are.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Can it have hydraulic shocks? If so, I'm your Doubleday.

Also, no tracksuit. We run a class organization. I'm wearing two-button, slim silhouette bespoke suits, but made out of sweatpants material.

[Guest d'Kong76]

Centerfield wrote: Right? We'd be such badasses. We could wear gold chains and medallions. Until my wife calls, then I'd have to pick up the dry cleaning and go get the kids from school.

I'm not a jewelry guy, my gold will be in my Swiss bank account.
A member of the staff can do the dry cleaning, but even badasses
should take time out to get the kids lol.

[Guest themetfairy]

You guys can drive around in the Batmobile. I'll be sunbathing on the terrace of my Upper West Side penthouse apartment.

But if there's room I'll hitch a ride on the Batmobile during game days

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Upper West Side?

I'm buying Mill Rock Island, and making me a blue and orange East River island lair, with secret tunnels to Astoria and Midtown.

[Guest themetfairy]

I'll visit you there!

[dgwphotography]

Screw that - I'm buying Port Orleans Riverside:

[Guest themetfairy]

Suit yourself.

I'll have an easier time getting to Mets games from my penthouse.

[Lefty Specialist]

I am soooooo down with the bullpen hovercraft.......

[Guest themetfairy]

OK, so long as we give the hovercraft a team cap like the old bullpen cart had.

[Guest cooby classic]

Oh I like that idea!

[Guest themetfairy]

Maybe while I'm at it I'll commission my own Mets cap topped hovercraft to fly me directly from my penthouse to the ballgames

[Zvon]

Centerfield wrote: By the way, the above answer is what I'd do with the team. Me, personally, I'd be wearing a tracksuit and shades cruising around in my batmobile doing laps around CitiField blasting 90's rap. Rollin down the street, smoking indo, sippin on gin and juice (with my mind on my money and my money on my mind).

Which Batmobile? I'm sure you know which I'd go after.

1. Rename Citi Seaver Field.

2. Statues for Gil, Casey, Yogi, Seaver, Koosman, Gooden, Strawberry, Piazza(retire his #31) and a few more the fans can pick. I'd want one for Murphy and Kiner.

3. Sure, another level of seating. Affordable tickets (which means moneyball every year-I'd keep Sandy). All fans in the place can move down after the 3rd inning no matter who we're playing (also, no tier tickets).

4. I'll design the new scoreboard myself. It'll be bombastic.

5. No more camo unis. All kinds of throwback unis instead.

6. The yearbook would come with a set of 41 Mets fantazy cards every season. Perforated cardboard pages in the middle. You can leave them in the yearbook or cut em out and put em in plastic or a binder. Make it a traditional thing.

[ashie62]

Rebuild Shea and

NO FACIAL HAIR.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Screw that - I'm buying Port Orleans Riverside:

That's where we stayed last time! Beautiful.

Needs a Zephers Square to commemorate the Mets short time in New Orleans.

[MFS62]

Thanks to all of you who were able to come up with some interesting and original ideas.
As I've mentioned, I've never been into the uniform thingie, so I'd just go back to the original-as-possible duds and colors. The current owners could do that if they wanted, and wouldn't take someone hitting Powerball to do it.

But the primary focus would be to keep the old fans and develop new ones.
Keeping the old fans could be accomplished by lowering ticket prices (and parking and food prices, too) and by putting an exciting and competitive team on the field. Operations budgets would be increased to do that, and seats would be added, including more lower priced seats, package deals and a scheduled doubleheader or two (with Banner Day between games of one of them).

To get the kids to come, I'd have team busses pick up youth groups (say, of 30 or more) and bring them to the park. I'd open up the gates early, so the kids could get close to the players during batting practice. There would also be scheduled day games during the Summer that kids could attend.

But why stop there? I'd build a new minor league stadium on Long Island and lobby with MLB to move the AAA team from Las Vegas when the current contract runs out at the end of the 2016 season, swapping a PCL team with a current International League team to move to the PCL.

Bottom line, this is all wishful thinking and fun.
But , we can dream, can't we?

Later

[dinosaur jesus]

That's a great question. Here's what I would do. I'd have awkward conversations with the players, and worry about whether they really respected me. When my general manager wanted my approval to make a trade, I'd go over and over the pros and cons until he sighed and said the hell with it, and I'd be secretly relieved, because I felt bad for the guy we were going to trade, and maybe this was the year he'd finally put it all together. At press conferences, the reporters would keep asking me to talk more into the mike, and I'd get annoyed, because if they really cared what I was saying they'd listen more closely. I'd ask my marketing people if we could go back to one home uniform, one road uniform, no alternates, no camo, and they'd say that was definitely an idea worth studying, but we'd have to be attentive to sensitive demographics and the Mets tradition of continuity through nuanced change, and I'd just let it go, because I didn't want to turn into Steinbrenner and insist on having everything my way. And after a month or so, I'd start to wonder if I was really as interested in baseball as I'd thought, or if I should have spent my money on first editions or endowing orphanages or something. And if any of you guys, who of course really are that interested, wanted to make me an offer to take the Mets off my hands, I'd definitely consider it.

[Ceetar]

after tough losses I'd go out and get hammered and photographed with unsavory people to give the media something to talk about and take the pressure off the team.

I'd stock the press box so full of snacks and free pizza and amenities to lull said media into a sleepy haze. Lavish praise upon them. Hire a masseuse. Double up on the interesting facts/game notes they get.


Oh, and I'd take the rivalry with the Yankees up 17 notches.

[Guest themetfairy]

I'd buy a hat like Mrs. Payson's and wear it to every game.

[Benjamin Grimm]

If we're assuming that money is no object, I'd get rid of stadium advertising. And no thanks to the bombastic scoreboard.

My ideal name for the stadium: Kiner-Murphy Park.

[Lefty Specialist]

themetfairy wrote: I'd buy a hat like Mrs. Payson's and wear it to every game.

I'd go as Pearl Bailey! (oh wait, did I say that out loud?)

[Guest themetfairy]

Go to town - with that much money nobody will question you

[Guest d'Kong76]

Lefty Specialist wrote: I'd go as Pearl Bailey! (oh wait, did I say that out loud?)

I'd go as Gene Shalit in a sun dress! (not that I think Gene cross dressed)

[dgwphotography]

All kidding aside, I wouldn't waste a dime or a minute on this team. With that kind of money, I'm going the Jon Stewart route, buying a ranch, and rescuing as many dogs as possible.

[Lefty Specialist]

Well, even so, I'd buy the bullpen hovercraft and cruise slowly around my super-exclusive gated community.

[Edgy MD]

I dunno. I drop enough munny and time (far more valuable) on the Mets now as a middle class stooge, I'm sure going to invest if I'm an obscenely wealthy stooge.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Oh, I'd buy a luxury box, or a suite, or whatever it is you can buy as an obscenely wealthy fan, but I don't think I'd buy a share of the ballclub.

[Ceetar]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Oh, I'd buy a luxury box, or a suite, or whatever it is you can buy as an obscenely wealthy fan, but I don't think I'd buy a share of the ballclub.

you don't have that option. You hit the powerball AND buy the Mets. it happens. now what?

[Edgy MD]

Powerball sucks. Hit the jackpot and lose all autonomy.