Write Mike Piazza's HOF plaque

[Benjamin Grimm]

Here's mine:

62ND ROUND DRAFT PICK BECAME 1993 N.L. ROOKIE OF YEAR AND 12-TIME ALL-STAR. HIT RECORD 396 HOME RUNS AS A CATCHER, 427 OVERALL. LED METS TO 2000 N.L. CHAMPIONSHIP. POST-TERROR HOME RUN ON 9/21/2001 WAS CATHARTIC FOR NEW YORK CITY AND NATION. NOT GAY, JUST "METROSEXUAL"

[Guest d'Kong76]

Kinda hard to improve on that, unless we can work in a BACNE blurb.

[Centerfield]

Made Roger Clemens his bitch. Did some other cool stuff too.

[Frayed Knot]

NEKKID MODEL WIFE MAY OR MAY NOT BE A "BEARD"

[Lefty Specialist]

SAM CHAMPION STILL KEEPS A LIGHT ON.

[Vic Sage]

MIKE PIAZZA
LOS ANGELES, N.L. 1992-1998; FLORIDA, N.L. 1998;
NEW YORK, N.L. 1998 – 2005; SAN DIEGO, N.L. 2006; OAKLAND, A.L. 2007

62ND ROUND DRAFT PICK BY L.A. DODGERS BECAME 1993 N.L. ROOKIE OF YEAR, 10-TIME SILVER SLUGGER, AND
12-TIME ALL-STAR. HIT RECORD 396 HOME RUNS AS A CATCHER (427 OVERALL), WITH A .308 LIFETIME
BATTING AVERAGE, 1048 RUNS, 1335 RBI, AND .922 OPS (ALL-TIME LEADER AMONG CATCHERS WHEN HE RETIRED).
LED DODGERS TO 1995 N.L. WESTERN DIVISION TITLE AND 1996 N.L. WILD-CARD; FUELED N.Y. METS’ RUN
TO 1999 N.L. EASTERN DIVISION TITLE AND 2000 N.L. PENNANT; FINISHED CAREER BY HELPING S.D. PADRES TO
2006 N.L. WESTERN DIVISION TITLE. HIS POST-9/11 GAME-WINNING HOME RUN AT CITIFIELD PROVED CATHARTIC
FOR NEW YORK CITY AND THE NATION.

ALSO, A METROXEXUAL HEADBANGER WITH BACNE, DOGGED BY PERSISTANT RUMORS OF
HOMOSEXUALITY AND STEROIDS USE… BUT HE NEVER GOT CAUGHT, SO WE GUESS HE DIDN'T DO IT.

[Centerfield]

Vic Sage wrote: HIS POST-9/11 GAME-WINNING HOME RUN AT CITIFIELD PROVED CATHARTIC FOR NEW YORK CITY AND THE NATION.

WAS ALSO FIRST EVER TIME TRAVELER.

[ashie62]

PUNKED BY ROGER CLEMENS.

[Frayed Knot]

Ashie62 wrote: PUNKED BY ROGER CLEMENS.

8 for 22 with a double, 4 HRs, 10 RBI; .364/.440/.955 // 1355 suggests otherwise.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Many months later, I caught two errors in this.

Vic Sage wrote: MIKE PIAZZA LOS ANGELES, N.L. 1992-1998; FLORIDA, N.L. 1998; NEW YORK, N.L. 1998 – 2005; SAN DIEGO, N.L. 2006; OAKLAND, A.L. 2007 62ND ROUND DRAFT PICK BY L.A. DODGERS BECAME 1993 N.L. ROOKIE OF YEAR, 10-TIME SILVER SLUGGER, AND 12-TIME ALL-STAR. HIT RECORD 396 HOME RUNS AS A CATCHER (427 OVERALL), WITH A .308 LIFETIME BATTING AVERAGE, 1048 RUNS, 1335 RBI, AND .922 OPS (ALL-TIME LEADER AMONG CATCHERS WHEN HE RETIRED). LED DODGERS TO 1995 N.L. WESTERN DIVISION TITLE AND 1996 N.L. WILD-CARD; FUELED N.Y. METS’ RUN TO 1999 N.L. EASTERN DIVISION TITLE AND 2000 N.L. PENNANT; FINISHED CAREER BY HELPING S.D. PADRES TO 2006 N.L. WESTERN DIVISION TITLE. HIS POST-9/11 GAME-WINNING HOME RUN AT CITIFIELD PROVED CATHARTIC FOR NEW YORK CITY AND THE NATION. ALSO, A METROXEXUAL HEADBANGER WITH BACNE, DOGGED BY PERSISTANT RUMORS OF HOMOSEXUALITY AND STEROIDS USE… BUT HE NEVER GOT CAUGHT, SO WE GUESS HE DIDN'T DO IT.

[Vic Sage]

yeah, great... where were you when i needed you?

[Benjamin Grimm]

I'm so sorry! Now his plaque will be forever tainted!

[ashie62]

Frayed Knot wrote: Ashie62 wrote: PUNKED BY ROGER CLEMENS. 8 for 22 with a double, 4 HRs, 10 RBI; .364/.440/.955 // 1355 suggests otherwise.

To me one bat shard trumps the numbers.

Later.

[MFS62]

Ashie62 wrote: Ashie62 wrote: PUNKED BY ROGER CLEMENS. 8 for 22 with a double, 4 HRs, 10 RBI; .364/.440/.955 // 1355 suggests otherwise. To me one bat shard trumps the numbers. Later.

Please do not channel my "Later" with crap like that.

Later

[Fman99]

HAD BACNE. MAY HAVE LIKED DUDES. SABOTAGED CLEMENS ALL STAR GAME.

ALSO HR ROY NL PENNANT YYY BBB

[Edgy MD]

Always a gentleman, available to the press every night with patient, thoughtful answers.

Possibly the most mobbed up player since Pepitone.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Article in the Daily News this morning reveals that Piazza's plaque will have 83 words. My first draft, which opened this thread, had 46, so I came in under by 37 words.

Vic Sage's revision had 130 words, which was high by 47.

The actual text, as far as I know, had not yet been revealed.

[Guest d'Kong76]

The real question is which one of you got the most words right!

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

HIS POST 9/11 HOME RUN HEALED; HIS BACK ACNE SCARS DID NOT. HE NEVER GOT ANTHRAX, BUT HE, LIKE, TOTALLY GOT ANTHRAX.

I mean, I'll check later to be certain, but I'm pretty sure I nailed it.