Postseason One Sentence Commercial Summaries

[Fman99]

Blind woman does laundry but has issues sleeping.

Buster Posey likes vaginas with babies emerging from them.

[Valadius]

Woman in sports jersey wants to give your man drugs.

[Fman99]

Douche melts gold into Playstation

[Frayed Knot]

Valadius wrote: Woman in sports jersey wants to give your man drugs.

If she'd just take off that jersey he wouldn't need them.

[Benjamin Grimm]

I like how these sexy women in Viagra ads often wear football jerseys. It's as if being sexy isn't enough, she has to also like football.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Matthew McConaughey is the Most Interesting Smirk Alive.

[Zvon]

That western sounding song on the Amazon commercial that sounds so familiar to me for some reason is from the soundtrack of 1969's Paint Your Wagon and Lee Marvin sings it! As soon as I saw his name I was like, of course that was Lee Marvin! That voice.

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I'd been wondering what this song was for weeks, having seen the commercial. My brother used his phone recognition shit during the commercial (he only caught the last 10 seconds of the song too) and he had the song name in a split second. Amazin'.

[Fman99]

Guy yells about watching TV on his phone. Then, more yelling.

[Fman99]

Men with grey hair take pills that allow them to have moments of coitus.

[Valadius]

Guy blames his baby for high phone bills.

[Guest Rockin' Doc]

Fman99 wrote: Men with grey hair take pills that allow them to have moments of coitus.

However, if it takes more than four hours, he should consult his doctor. Hell, if takes more than four hours, he should call all his buddies to brag.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

I'm just like you, wearing hoodies and totally not being an OTB-addicted degenerate; trust me, bud-- do your league-approved fantasy gambling with US!

[Valadius]

Bob Dylan talks to a computer.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Tone-deaf IBM tablet sings about as tunefully as Dylan.

[Valadius]

Hipster with a guitar sings to yogurt-eating youngsters.

[Fman99]

Car company founders travel through time and shop for cars.

[Ceetar]

Valadius wrote: Hipster with a guitar sings to yogurt-eating youngsters.

As the on-deck hitter with the batter at two strikes is always the right time for pumpkin spice yogurt.

[Centerfield]

I like the Fred Willard commercial. "It's gonna be a lot of fun. Firing everyone."

[Guest d'Kong76]

We get the gist.

[Fman99]

Kenny Rogers is a fucking asshole.

[Benjamin Grimm]

You still haven't forgiven that walk to Andruw Jones, huh?

[Ceetar]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: You still haven't forgiven that walk to Andruw Jones, huh?

I still contend we should've put in Dotel.

[Frayed Knot]

Swedish metal band 'Europe' is so hard up for gigs that they'll come play in your company's break room during lunch hour.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Lee Marvin's solo from "Paint Your Wagon": the sound of Amazon Prime.

[metsmarathon]

Fast food joints need better dictionaries

[Edgy MD]

Take drugs, eat like a fool, come out even on the heartburn scorecard.

[Edgy MD]

Not-so-legendary hair band Europe is taking lunchtime gigs in corporate break rooms.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Lincoln: the Official Car of Peyote Trips with A-List Actors

[Edgy MD]

Arby's can't pronounce "Jalape�os."

[Edgy MD]

Don't take Prevnar 13, don't ask your doctor or pharmacist about it, and if somebody mentions the stuff, run in the opposite direction.