Backpack Girl

[Guest Edgy DC]

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_search.php?action=Browse&Cache=c8978e9c39bece15b11ccb4d9bb5be96&page=3

One Friday morn, the radio said something 'bout Fred
I got online to find out, but the Pool was dead
Backpack Girl!
Why are you there?
Backpack Girl!
Your skin's so clear
But my head is in a whirl
No Crane Pool, just some Backpack Girl

I tried three URLs that used to work before
Your smile kept telling me that they don't work no more
Backpack Girl!
Lip gloss turns me on
Backpack Girl!
But now my forum's gone
And that just wrecks my world
Please understand, Backpack Girl

I wrote to the forum admins
They forgot to pay domain fees
And I asked "Are you fuckin' kidding?"
They said "We do this all for free
Why can't you assholes see?
And no one's put much money
In the Community Chest
Got six e-mails from Rogers
With his previews of the Dodgers
On such a shitty day!"

I swallowed hard, moved on to post at Grand Slam Single
Such stale and shallow chat, I could not intermingle
Backpack Girl!
Your backpack's full of lies
Backpack Girl!
Oh won't you her my cries?
Your smile's like a pearl
But your heart is cruel, Backpack Girl

I turned on FAN
And laughed at all the callers
Who thought the world gave two shits
About their dumb opinions
I called about Trot Nixon
They said "Hey, man, we're talking Yankees"
I said "If you don't talk 'bout Trot Nixon
Then your station needs some fixin'!"

Someone e-mailed me who posted there as well
He said that we're back online and here's the URL!
Backpack Girl!
My shining star
Backpack Girl!
Be my avatar
Your hair don't need no curl
At the Pool with me --- the pennants we'll unfurl
At the Pool with me --- the center of my world!
At the Poooool with meeeee, Backpack Girrrrrl!

[Guest Rockin' Doc]

[Guest Edgy DC]

She's a very persistent piece of stock photography, this one.

[metirish]

Well played ......if attgig ever changes his av there might be a revolt.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

How I missed this the first time I don't know.

Glorious.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Backpack Girl, why can't I meet someone like you?

Confident and cute, but a little shy, too.
You're so smart from your mid-size American University education.
I've seen you in the quad a few times and want to talk to you, but I don't know what to say.
I'd never invite you to that kegger on Thursday night. I'm sure you'd just think I was a dick.
I'm scared to invite you to coffee.
What if I have nothing interesting to say? What if you think I'm boring??
The thought of that scares the ever-loving shit out of me.




You're not even the kind of girl I normally go for.
I typically like a girl with a wild streak. Maybe a tramp stamp tattoo. A lip piercing.
But your style is so minimal. No jewelry. No accessories of any kind.
That's not really all that sexy to me. So why can't I stop thinking about you?

And then I realize... there are no distractions with you, Backpack Girl.

You don't want us to see you through the prism of some designer brand labels
(Your backpack is rad. Is it a JanSport? I bet you don't even care).
You don't want to impress us with a t-shirt of your favorite band
(what kind of music do you like, Backpack Girl?),
You just want us all to see you for who you really are.

No fronts.
No facades.

Just a Girl.
With a Backpack.



I've got to confess.
I looked you up on Facebook. I wanted to be friends with you there.
Show you the cool shit I'm into. Make you like me as much as I like you.
I saw your profile. Just one photo. That's so cool. Wall is "private".
How do you do it, Backpack Girl?
You need us all way less than we need you.
I wanted to friend you, but realized it's all bullshit and you'd see through my act anyway
(and I was scared you wouldn't accept).
This isn't me. What have you done to me?

Oh, Backpack Girl, how can someone so simple be so complex?
I don't even know if your teeth are straight and white and I don't care.

Backpack Girl, I think I love you.

[metirish]

I'm actually surprised that Seo hasn't banged this chick yet.

[Willets Point]

Backpack Girl actually is on FaceBook, although she doesn't have much to say.

According to this article she is the little sister of Dustin Steller of Steller Photography who has many pictures of her on his Flickr page.

The photo was taken in Kansas City not on a college campus (and certainly not at Harvard like I thought). Also, she's happily married.

[Fman99]

A Boy Named Seo wrote: Backpack Girl, why can't I meet someone like you? Confident and cute, but a little shy, too. You're so smart from your mid-size American University education. I've seen you in the quad a few times and want to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I'd never invite you to that kegger on Thursday night. I'm sure you'd just think I was a dick. I'm scared to invite you to coffee. What if I have nothing interesting to say? What if you think I'm boring?? The thought of that scares the ever-loving shit out of me. You're not even the kind of girl I normally go for. I typically like a girl with a wild streak. Maybe a tramp stamp tattoo. A lip piercing. But your style is so minimal. No jewelry. No accessories of any kind. That's not really all that sexy to me. So why can't I stop thinking about you? And then I realize... there are no distractions with you, Backpack Girl. You don't want us to see you through the prism of some designer brand labels (Your backpack is rad. Is it a JanSport? I bet you don't even care). You don't want to impress us with a t-shirt of your favorite band (what kind of music do you like, Backpack Girl?), You just want us all to see you for who you really are. No fronts. No facades. Just a Girl. With a Backpack. I've got to confess. I looked you up on Facebook. I wanted to be friends with you there. Show you the cool shit I'm into. Make you like me as much as I like you. I saw your profile. Just one photo. That's so cool. Wall is "private". How do you do it, Backpack Girl? You need us all way less than we need you. I wanted to friend you, but realized it's all bullshit and you'd see through my act anyway (and I was scared you wouldn't accept). This isn't me. What have you done to me? Oh, Backpack Girl, how can someone so simple be so complex? I don't even know if your teeth are straight and white and I don't care. Backpack Girl, I think I love you.

You stole my bit, I was going tell her, "You're right purty and I'd like to sniff yer butt."

[seawolf17]

The "hat" picture on her brother's site is lovely.

[RealityChuck]

She's sort of like Oliver Perez: no matter how much you want her to go, she keeps coming back.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Willets Point wrote: Also, she's happily married.

If she wants to stay happy, then she better steer clear of A Boy Named Heartbreak.

[Valadius]

Looks like Backpack Girl is still hanging out at cranepoolforum.com.

[Guest Kong76]

Valad and Jeets ... hmmmmm.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Willets Point wrote: Backpack Girl actually is on FaceBook, although she doesn't have much to say. According to this article she is the little sister of Dustin Steller of Steller Photography who has many pictures of her on his Flickr page. The photo was taken in Kansas City not on a college campus (and certainly not at Harvard like I thought). Also, she's happily married.

Thought you had totally killed my fantasy, Willets Point, with all of your research and reality, and I thought that was so uncool of you. Then I saw the Flickr picks of Backpack Girl now that she's 'graduated' and I want to give you a long, warm, thankful embrace.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

There's something about that blue sweater I really like.

[Guest Vince Coleman Firecracker]

How about these?

[Guest attgig]

wow. who knew my avatar was so famous.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Oh, Backpack Girl. You're all growns up now.

Saw you back on campus for the first time since spring semester.
Wondered what happened to you. Thought I'd never see you again.

Your hair, so long now. Seemed a metaphor for you growing from the precocious innocence of your freshman year.
So pretty.
Don't even need your Backpack anymore. Almost didn't recognize you without it.
Feels like you've changed so much, left this whole world behind. That makes me sad.



Heard you dropped out.
Everyone thought you were going to be an OBGYN. Kicking so much ass in the health sciences.
Saw your name on the Dean's List under "G". The school paper said your grant was extended.
Was so happy for you. But you walked away from it all.

Heard you're modeling now. That's cool.

I guess.

Bet you meet a lot of really buff dudes with six-pack abs and even tans, huh?
But are they funny, Backpack Girl? Do they make you laugh? Do they "get you" like I do?

Saw some of your images from your last modeling gig pop up online.
Was trying to get to my fav social networking site, but mis-typed the domain name and there you were.

I was transfixed.
I was heart-broken.
Was like seeing a ghost.

I lost it.

I deleted all of my 'bookmarks'. Cleared my cache. Deactivated my Delicious account even. I don't care anymore.
Started typing in the wrong domain suffix on purpose just to see you again.
Now I spend my afternoons surfing parked domains.

Lame, I know.



Tried to sign up on match.com thinking it would help.
But I found myself typing in 'match.us' instead and just stared at you for 45 minutes.
There's no one else with as many matching compatibility traits as you anyway.

I miss you, Backpack Girl.
Come back to school. We'll get you another JanSport Backpack. Maroon. Just like you like.
Let's go back to the way things used to be.

Please?