Sir, I'm Going to Have to Insist You Exit the Interstate

[Edgy MD]

It is May.  May 3, to be exact, and that is when small batting averages stop being products of small sample sizes and start to trend toward being a season.

The problems with the offense for most Mets to date extends far beyond batting averages.  They don't reach enough.  They don't extra-base enough.  They have, for the most part, not had a lot of contact with any of the four major bases.

But getting off the interstate is a start.  Coming to the plate and not seeing a batting average starting with a 1 on the most massive scoreboard in the world is win, and it is win that you can build more wins on.

So will the following players please get off the interstate NOW!!!!

Carson Benge, you were up to .197 a few days ago, but now you are back to cruising on I-86 across the southern tier of upstate New York, and if you get to used to that, you may find yourself rehoused in upstate New York.

You really don't want to be on any road that runs through Binghamton, Carson.

Luis Torrens, the recipient of a brand new contract extension should not be celebrating his windfall on I-82 in the Pacific Northwest.  Yeah, you get to follow the Lewis and Clark Trail for awhile, but there is plenty of time for sightseeing in the offseason.

Jorge Polanco, a wounded calf may slow you down, but it's not going to feel any better pulling those hills on the Appalachian Ridge passes of I-79, running between Pittsburgh and Charleston, West Virginia.  Do you wanna swing a sledgehammer in the Mets dugout or in a coal, mine, Jorge?

After two fruitless at-bats yesterday, Andy Ibáñez is on the Mets roster while travelling down an imaginary I-00.  He may run into Tommy Pham there, but probably not too many others, because it is hard to run into people on a highway that doesn't exist.  But these are the 2026 Mets.  They'll surprise ya'. 

[Centerfield]

Would you say a .500 OPS is equivalent to being on the interstate?

 

We need a creative nickname for the .500 and below club. 
 

Fortune 500 is the opposite of what we want. Maybe you keep it driving themed and say who’s racing the Daytona 500?

[Edgy MD]

I tend to consider .600 the minimum OPS standard for a justifiable MLB existence.  I think of it as The Ordóñez Line, and checking it out now, Rey Ordóñez had exactly a .600 OPS.

[Fman99]

I've driven many miles on I-86, which is also NY State Route 17 in many stretches where they still have traffic lights and businesses right along the road.  It was my primary method of traveling back and forth between Ulster County where I grew up and SUNY Geneseo where I matriculated.  It is in fact a beautiful stretch of highway in many places, particularly west of Binghamton as you head towards Bath, NY.

But yes, Mets hitters should hit more YYYBBB 

[Edgy MD]

Yeah, I mostly think of it as 17, which I used to take up to Rochester to see a college friend — driving through upstate New York burgs with shamelessly small-town names like Horsehead and Painted Post.

[Edgy MD]

Luis Torrens briefly got onto the exit ramp, with his sixth-inning double taking him up to .200, but he went down looking in the eighth to end his day on I-94, streaming across South Dakota with Montana on his mind.

None of this would be that bad if he didn't spend the whole time repeating dialogue from Fargo (1996).  Ugh!

With a homer and a walk in three trips to the plate, Carson Benge also finds himself up north, on a tear across I-94.  This is a bumpy ride, in that this is merely a proposed interstate route, intended to link northern New England with Quebec and the Maritimes to the northeast, and Northern New York to the west.

Seeing that there are a lot of trees and mountains currently where that interstate is proposed to be, Carson is probably doing less movie quoting, although Last of the Mohicans (1992) would be kind of appropriate.

Jorge Polanco, Tommy Pham, and Andy Ibáñez are showing no movement among the three of them, but at least Ibáñez has his engine running.

[Edgy MD]

I'm Carson Benge and I just got off the interstate.

Unfortunately, while I was exiting, I saw that Brett Baty had just merged on.

[Edgy MD]

And Baty swerves right back off.

[duan]

everyone bar Taylor is off the interstate now. still too many below the ordonez line

 

[Edgy MD]

Yeah, the weird thing about this thread is that, while people have lowish batting averages, the real problem is the Ordóñezian lack of walks and extra-bases. 

Along with the surfeit of double-plays.