Bad Movie Remakes -- aka: What were they thinking?!?

[Frayed Knot]

We've now had several mentions in the past few days about movies that should NOT have been remade but were anyway with mostly predictable (read: bad) results.
Which seemed like as good a reason as any for a new topic.


A couple of days ago I mentioned the recent incarnation of DEATH WISH.
Now I haven't seen the new one, in part because I believe it opened and closed on the same afternoon but also because I had no intention of doing so. Not that the Charles Bronson original was great cinema
which screamed not to even try to be equaled. But at least it was done at a time when random, urban street crime was much more of a fear than it is for most people today and when angry guys with guns
wasn't a topic in the news seemingly twice a week. And of course few were better than Bronson at playing the strong silent type, so that even if this Bruce Willis version were a good movie it would be one with
real bad timing and the near single-digit ratings on 'Rotten Tomatoes' suggests that it wasn't a well done version either.


Coming this August is a new version of PAPILLON, the original of which WAS a good movie with top stars [1973 - Steve McQueen, Dustin Hoffman] and not one that suggests it's in need of a reworking.
I've never heard of the leads in this coming version, which by itself doesn't mean it'll be inferior but I guess we'll see in a few months (or, like DEATH WISH, maybe no one will see).


TAKING OF PELHAM 1-2-3 [1974 - Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw; 2009 - John Travolta, Denzel Washington]
No, just no. Even if the editing DIDN'T manage to clearly show Shea Stadium out the window of the runaway train as it made its way from lower Manhattan into Brooklyn, remaking this one was still
neither a good idea nor was it good execution.



THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY [1947 - Danny Kaye; 2013 - Ben Stiller]
How'd that one work out in the old box office, Ben? Bet it's been erased from the resume you use whenever you go job hunting too.



Also from another thread:

dgwphotography wrote: Has anyone killed two remakes (that shouldn't have been made) like Matthew Broderick?

I assume he's talking about THE PRODUCERS and CHRISTMAS STORY LIVE, although at least that last one was a TV movie and not a theatre release. Or maybe he had another one in mind.

Also, how about Denzel deciding to hitch his wagon to re-dos of TAKING OF PELHAM (see above), MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (2016), and THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (2004) !!!!!
What's up with that DW, trouble finding any real work!?!

Edited March 21, 2018 by Guest

[Edgy MD]

I have Febbuk friend who is a theatre owner, and he took a shot of the stage from junket at Disney, where they were rolling out their films for the next 12 months, and out of 25 films, there was seemingly perhaps one original idea in there. Everything was remakes, sequels, spinoffs, and name-brand acquired properties.

It's a world of toadies, and it's seemingly a lot easier to keep your job if you tell your bosses to drop $100 million on an established commodity than an original idea. But the problem — and it's the problem with the whole tired-assed world of post-modern culture — is that eventually they'll run out of the old ideas, the pieces of modernity to re-assemble. Pop will eat itself.

[Edgy MD]

I'm Johnny Depp and I can out-Denzel Denzel.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
The Lone Ranger (2013)
Alice in Wonderland (2010, plus the 2016 sequel)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Sleepy Hollow (1999, not that this has ever been satisfactorily filmed, apart from Disney's 1949 cartoon)

[dgwphotography]

He was in A Christmas Story Live?!? That makes three. I was referring to THE PRODUCERS, and THE MUSIC MAN (shudder)

[Vic Sage]

Some bad and unnecessary 21st century remakes of great movies:

BEDAZZLED (00)
SHAFT (00)
PLANET OF THE APES (01)
ROLLERBALL (02)
MR. DEEDS (02)
THE IN-LAWS (03)
THE LADYKILLERS (04)
MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (04)
ALFIE (04)
LONGEST YARD (05)
BAD NEWS BEARS (05)
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (05)
THE PRODUCERS (05)
THE WICKER MAN (06)
ALL THE KINGS MEN (06)
THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (08)
THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (09)
FAME (09)
THE KARATE KID (10)
ARTHUR (11)
CONAN (11)
STRAW DOGS (11)
THE LONE RANGER (13)
SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY (13)
CARRIE (13)
ROBOCOP (14)
POLTERGEIST (15)
BEN-HUR (16)
MAGNIFICENT 7 (16)
DEATH WISH (17)

[Edgy MD]

Upcoming in 2018:

• Overboard
  
• Ocean's 8 (sequel of a remake, which in fairness, was a remake of a pretty lousy film)
  
• Superfly
  
• Christopher Robin
  
• Papillon
  
• A Star Is Born
  
• Halloween
  
• Mowgli
  
• The Nutcracker and the Four Realms
  
• The Grinch
  
• Robin Hood
  
• Holmes and Watson
  
• Mary Poppins Returns
  
• Valley Girl

[batmagadanleadoff]

Vic Sage wrote: Some bad and unnecessary 21st century remakes of great movies: BEDAZZLED (00) SHAFT (00) PLANET OF THE APES (01) ROLLERBALL (02) MR. DEEDS (02) THE IN-LAWS (03) THE LADYKILLERS (04) MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (04) ALFIE (04) LONGEST YARD (05) BAD NEWS BEARS (05) CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (05) THE PRODUCERS (05) THE WICKER MAN (06) ALL THE KINGS MEN (06) THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (08) THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (09) FAME (09) THE KARATE KID (10) ARTHUR (11) CONAN (11) STRAW DOGS (11) THE LONE RANGER (13) SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY (13) CARRIE (13) ROBOCOP (14) POLTERGEIST (15) BEN-HUR (16) MAGNIFICENT 7 (16) DEATH WISH (17)

I was about to write that I must have great taste because I haven't seen a single one of these movies. But I just remembered that I gave The Ladykillers a shot, mainly because I can't watch a British movie that isn't subtitled. British is like a foreign language to me. It might as well be Swahili to me.

[MFS62]

This was released too early to make Vic's list, but Titanic (1997) doesn't deserve to be in the lifeboat when compared to two movies on the same subject that preceded it - Titanic (1953) and especially Night to Remember (1958).
Decide for yourself, because both of the older movies will be shown tonight on TCM (Turner Classic Movies).

Later

[Benjamin Grimm]

James Cameron's movie wasn't a remake, though. It was a new film about a subject that's been filmed before.

[MFS62]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: James Cameron's movie wasn't a remake, though. It was a new film about a subject that's been filmed before.

I get that.
Instead of only taking the perspective of the rich folks, it took the perspective of some poor folks, too.
But that's like saying that each version of King Kong isn't a real remake because some of the story lines (character motivations) are different.
Its still about a big ape on an island falling in love with a beautiful girl.
This is about a famous ship sinking, and the passengers on it.
And this version sucked.
Spoiler alert
When Leonardo DiCaprio's body floated by, I felt like standing up and cheering.
Again, the other two are on TV tonight.
And that was the purpose of my post, to alert the movie buffs who might want to see them (again).
Later

Edited March 25, 2018 by Guest

[Benjamin Grimm]

Titanic: Real life event.
King Kong: Fiction

[MFS62]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Titanic: Real life event. King Kong: Fiction

And both were based on somebody's screenplay interpretation.
Later

[Benjamin Grimm]

Is John Belushi's 1941 a remake of From Here to Eternity? Or of Tora Tora Tora?

[MFS62]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Is John Belushi's 1941 a remake of From Here to Eternity? Or of Tora Tora Tora?

Of course not. But what about all the different versions of biographical films, from Lincoln to Churchill?
You're right (happy?)
The Titanic film wasn't a remake. But it was certainly telling the story of the ship going down from a different standpoint.
As I said, I was just trying to provide a public service - letting folks know those two movies would be on tonight.
No good deed goes unpunished.
sigh

Later

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

• Overboard
• Ocean's 8 (sequel of a remake, which in fairness, was a remake of a pretty lousy film)
• Superfly
• Christopher Robin
• Papillon
• A Star Is Born
• Halloween
• Mowgli
• The Nutcracker and the Four Realms
• The Grinch
• Robin Hood
• Holmes and Watson
• Mary Poppins Returns
• Valley Girl

Upcoming in 2018:

Lion King, too, no?

[Edgy MD]

Coming in 2019, but yeah.

Does all this Disney cannibalising themselves end up consigning the earlier films to the dustbin? Do they quietly fall out of circulation like the original cuts of the original Star Wars trilogy?

[Centerfield]

I've resigned myself to the fact that nothing good will be left alone. If a movie kicks ass, they will make sequels until you can't stand it anymore. And when the sequels run their course, they will re-boot, or re-make it. And then more sequels, etc.

Look at how right they got everything with Lord of the Rings. Consolidating that massive work into three movies. Terrific job. And then they went and made a thousand Hobbit movies.

[Frayed Knot]

It's why I rarely watch sequels.
If I didn't like the original then I have no interest in seeing the story continued. And if I did like it then I don't want a sequel to diminish the original.
I also tend not to get all that excited at remakes for similar reasons.
There are exceptions to both but not a lot.


In another thread a few of us were discussing recent Taylor Sheridan films.
The consensus seemed to be that HELL OR HIGH WATER was terrific, WIND RIVER less so but still good, and SICARIO a messy disappointment.
So naturally [u:7o4mqauu]SICARIO 2[/u:7o4mqauu] is the one coming to a theatre near you.

[MFS62]

Frayed Knot wrote: The consensus seemed to be that HELL OR HIGH WATER was terrific, WIND RIVER less so but still good, and SICARIO a messy disappointment. So naturally SICARIO 2 is the one coming to a theatre near you.

I win the bet! I win the bet!
Oh, wait.
Never mind.

Later

[RealityChuck]

The issue is this: movies are expensive to make, and ticket prices keep increasing.

The investment in a film is so immense, that producers get nervous on anything new or different. They worry that the movie won't find an audience, that the concept won't draw enough money to make back their money. So they lean toward properties that people recognize. It's easier to market a film with a familiar name or character, so they look for familiar names and characters.

Audience look at the cost of a ticket and also want assurance they'll like it. If they recognize the franchise/remake, they know what they're getting for their money. So the two trends dovetail.

Also, audiences want spectacle. If you're paying $15 a ticket, you don't want to see a movie without it. Small dramas can play out on TV, but people want something for their money that doesn't come across on TV. So spectacle it is, and when it comes connected with a known name, financing falls into place. And if you can't provide the spectacle, a known quantity is easier to finance and sell.

I've seen this trend occur in other art forms: as cost and prices rise, people are unwilling to risk money on something unknown.

[Fman99]

Vic Sage wrote: Some bad and unnecessary 21st century remakes of great movies: BEDAZZLED (00) SHAFT (00) PLANET OF THE APES (01) ROLLERBALL (02) MR. DEEDS (02) THE IN-LAWS (03) THE LADYKILLERS (04) MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (04) ALFIE (04) LONGEST YARD (05) BAD NEWS BEARS (05) CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (05) THE PRODUCERS (05) THE WICKER MAN (06) ALL THE KINGS MEN (06) THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (08) THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (09) FAME (09) THE KARATE KID (10) ARTHUR (11) CONAN (11) STRAW DOGS (11) THE LONE RANGER (13) SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY (13) CARRIE (13) ROBOCOP (14) POLTERGEIST (15) BEN-HUR (16) MAGNIFICENT 7 (16) DEATH WISH (17)

I'd add the rotten "Total Recall" reboot to this list. I loved the original AH-nold one.

I hate all these reboots/remakes. I have only seen from the above list "Planet of the Apes" and "The Wicker Man" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and they were all garbage.

[MFS62]

On Sunday morning, I saw the original "Mummy" with Boris Karloff. (1932?)
There have been several versions since.
Most of them stay relatively true to the original film.
(And then there was an Abbott and Costello one, too).
I enjoyed the Brendan Frasier, Rachel Weisz one (probably because of her).
But that evening I saw the recent Tom Cruise remake.
Feh.

Later

[Guest 41Forever]

My wife is a big Agatha Christie fan, and liked “Murder on the Orient Express” a lot. Must be a challenge when everyone in theater already know the twist ending, but it sure was beautifully photographed.