Lefty Specialist

Damn, Roger Angell is 93. Looks like he's trying to get all the adjectives and extra commas out of his system before he himself thromboses.

Kong76 wrote: People shoot doves? Seems to me there might be something more sporting to hunt. Better than hunting for Ivory. I say Olay to Mr Hawkins for his ability to Safeguard the passengers. Not content to Coast on this career numbers, he was able to Dial it up, bringing a Zest to his South American trip. Next stop? Why, Irish Spring, of course. (Steps off his soapbox)

Ceetar wrote: I suspect Jay will leave the same way Ralph Kiner will. With Liz Taylor on his arm?

"What we have here is a failure to.....properly execute social media policy."

How about a Director of Not F#cking Things Up? That's a job that's been empty for a long time.

I look at it this way. Does one of these teams winning the World Series cause Yankee fans additional pain? If so, root for that team. Doesn't work when it's Giants-Rangers, but it does here.

I purchased twelve Mike Baxters and it only cost me ten cents.

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: [Tsking as hard as they can] [Then smiling politely, because that's just the way they are] The correct spelling of that is 'Capital', not 'Capitol'. But what can you expect from Cardinal fans?

Any pitcher who gives up balls that travel that far should have a stewardess on him.

I think Jordany Valdespin needs the Chapter VIII solution.

Seaver's 10 consecutive strikeouts probably have something to do with it. Either that, or there were a crapload of pop-ups behind the plate one day.

In Spanish, 'Duda' means 'doubt'.

No.

Gwreck wrote: The Dodgers winning the LCS would be yet one more example of the positive change that can happen when you dump your shitty owner with legal troubles in favor of people with actual cash to spend. And that's why I hate them. Bud forced them to do that. Meanwhile he bent over backwards to keep the Wilpons in place, even lending them money in their hour of need. We're in a trap from which there is no escape.

Ugh. I'll be rooting for rain delays.

You know, not everyone knows that 'den Dekker' means 'Man Cave' in Dutch. At least that's what old Uncle Thijs used to tell me when I was a child sitting at his feet scratching the varnish off his wooden shoes. My best day? September 1st. That was the day I took a Ross Ohlendorf pitch and tattooed it to right-center in Nationals Park to give the Mets a 3-0 lead on the Nats. But like so many things in Washington these days, victory was just an illusion. I stood by helplessly after being double-switched out of the game after my second hit as the Atchy and Scratchy Show proceeded to blow a 4-2 lead I'd helped build with my own gnarled hands in an eventual 6-5 Met loss more painful than a Michele Bachmann press conference. But hey, as Kevin Costner said in Bull Durham, "I hit my Dinger and I hung 'em up!" Well, except I didn't really hang 'em up, and I didn't have any kinky candlelit lovemaking with Susan Sarandon. Of course, when they were doing that I was like one year old and Susan Sarandon isn't nearly as hot now, so it would be kind of icky. But hey, I [u:1gj2w5dg]can[/u:1gj2w5dg] breathe through my eyelids like the lava lizards of the Galapagos. True story. Lucas Duda? I'm guessing if Nuke LaLoosh wanted to announce his presence with authority and the catcher told him what was coming, he could hit that frickin' bull, too. What say you, Dude?

This. Lucas Duda would hit more home runs in a smaller park, but he'd still suck. The dimensions are okay now. What's needed are better players.

Dios mio, it's my turn. Hola, I'm Juan Centeno. My best day was my first day starting in the bigs, September 18th. Don't get me wrong, I finished the season with a .300 batting average, but my first day was special. I got my first major league hit early on; they took it out of play and Recker sat on it and farted all night; he knew he wasn't playing so he had one of those salami and black pepper ham sandwiches from Mama's of Corona. The smell still lingers as I sit here fondling the baseball in my offseason fortress of solitude. But that's okay, I know my place and I was just glad to be there. The best part, though was the bottom of the ninth. Coming in, we were losing to the Giants 4-1, but we'd already scored a run to make in 4-2 and had runners first and third. Sergio Romo gave me a pitch I could handle and hit it deep in the shortstop hole. I beat it to first for my only major league RBI. But then, just as my joy is unrestrained, who comes trotting out of the dugout? Anthony Recker himself, reeking of salami, oil and vinegar, to pinch-run for me. No matter, the Mets go on to win 5-4, scoring 4 in the ninth, and my '1' under the RBI column can never be erased. In the walkoff post-game dogpile I give Recker a good squeeze around the midsection and I'm pretty sure he pooped his pants. All in all, a pretty good day.

Well, John, your wife and I are glad you're still playing. We use whipped cream too, if you catch my drift. And sidearming is a skill she appreciates. Hi, I'm Greg Burke. They say that any ballplayer's best day is that day they're called up to the bigs. So I guess for me that best day is May 13th, June 22nd, July 5th, August 21st and September 9th. I spent more time in the Las Vegas airport than the slot machines. It's hard having to reintroduce yourself to the cocktail waitresses at the Bellagio every month. But I digress. From a pure stat perspective, it'd be hard to beat May 17th, when I got my only 'hold' in an eventual 3-2 win over the Cubs. I mean, that's pretty much it. 1/3 of an inning, and nobody was killed, which I view as a positive. My 5.68 ERA, 0-3 record and the team's 7-24 record in games in which I appeared made many wonder, "why is he here, exactly?" But by the time they'd ask the question, I was already safely ensconced in my coach seat on Southwest Airlines, a major league paycheck burning a hole in my pocket as the craps table and a good belt of scotch on the rocks awaited.

JPMC will refinance the loan. They don't want the hassle of writing it down and forcing the sale of the asset. It's like the old saying, "If you owe the bank ten thousand dollars, they own you. If you owe them ten million dollars, you own them."

Loved Olbermann's line at the outset. "The last time the Pirates were in the postseason, there was no Bryce Harper."

2014 should be a 'buy-low' year. I wouldn't get tied up in anything long-term; so that leaves out guys like Choo and Cruz. If there's a need later in the year, there are arms in the minors that can be used as chips. The one exception to this would be Abreu. I think he's a must to sign for first. Then you can clear out the clutter. If he can be had at all reasonably, they should do it. Unfortunately, there looks to be a lot of competition. Peralta intrigues me. If he can be had on a 1 or 2 year deal, I'd do it. Same for (David) Murphy.

Hi, I'm John Buck, and this was my best day EVER.

Mets � Willets Point wrote: And the Mets will play on Mercury. As was predicted.

I think we'll still need a lot of this.