Players Weekend, yall

[A Boy Named Seo]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: That image makes me realize that I don't know uniform numbers the way I used to. I don't know who BROWN BEAR, MONCHO and GOOPY are. Why is Steven Matz known as RENO? And Jacob deGrom seems to have the most boring nickname ever.

Yep, time to look up some #'s here, too.

I think my favorite is Goopy, whoever the hell that is, followed by Reno, and Scooter. Steven Matz doesn't scare anyone, but Reno Matz will shoot a man just to watch him die.

Shouldn't "LIL D" include, you know, a little "d"?

And Brown Bear sounds super gay. I mean that literally and not in a funny way.

[Benjamin Grimm]

I didn't realize that that said "LIL D". I thought it that Travis d'Arnaud's nickname was LILO, as in Lilo and Stitch.

[Edgy MD]

GOOPY is Erik Goeddel. But if you ask me, Matz is totally goopy. Like, the goopiest.

[Edgy MD]

Notice how humbled-by-duress Harvey has gone with HARV over DARK KNIGHT, but Syndergaard, who baseball isn't done humbling, goes with THOR.

[Benjamin Grimm]

BROWN BEAR, also known as SUPER GAY, is Josh Smoker.

[Ceetar]

Edgy MD wrote: Notice how humbled-by-duress Harvey has gone with HARV over DARK KNIGHT, but Syndergaard, who baseball isn't done humbling, goes with THOR.

I'm no expert in trademark law, but I did read that someone got rejected for 'Paulie D' on trademark grounds, so I could see why Dark Knight didn't fly, but I wouldn't have thought Thor would either.

Benjamin Grimm wrote: BROWN BEAR, also known as SUPER GAY, is Josh Smoker.

dammit. call him Brisket.

[Benjamin Grimm]

What kind of a trademark would there be on PAULIE D?

Marvel Comics has a trademark on the image of their superhero Thor, but the Norse God of Thunder has been around for over a thousand years and is surely in the public domain by now. He even predates Betty Boop!

[Benjamin Grimm]

From the Daily News. I like that Tommy Milone, Brett Gardner, and Matt Holliday decided not to play along. I have a feeling I would have done the same.

METS - Noah Syndergaard, 34: Thor - Matt Harvey, 33: Harv - Zack Wheeler, 45: Wheels - Jacob deGrom, 48: Jake - Yoenis Cespedes, 52: La Potencia - Jay Bruce, 19: Bruuuce - Steven Matz, 32: Reno - Jose Reyes, 7: La Melaza - Michael Conforto, 30: Scooter - Curtis Granderson, 3: Grandyman - Wilmer Flores, 4: Catire - Juan Lagares, 12: Angelo - Neil Walker, 20: Walkie - Rene Rivera, 44: Moncho - Paul Sewald, 51: Paulie - Josh Edgin, 66: Edge - AJ Ramos, 40: Junior - Travis d'Arnaud, 18: Lil D - Tommy Milone, 29: Milone - Rafael Montero, 50: Fugarra - Robert Gsellman, 65: G-Man - Seth Lugo, 67: Quarterrican - Matt Reynolds, 15: Rey Rey - Jeurys Familia, 27: La Fama - David Wright, 5: D-Dub - Fernando Salas, 59: Ferny - Asdrubal Cabrera, 13: Chiquitín - Jerry Blevins, 39: Gordo - Hansel Robles, 47: El Peñaco - Josh Smoker, 49: Brown Bear - T.J. Rivera, 54: T-Butta - Brandon Nimmo, 9: Nimms - Erik Goeddel, 62: Goopy YANKEES - Aaron Judge, 99: All Rise - Gary Sanchez, 24: Kraken - Brett Gardner, 11: Gardner - Starlin Castro, 14: All-Starlin - Dellin Betances, 68: D. Dawg - Luis Severino, 40: Sevy - Masahiro Tanaka, 19: Masa - Aroldis Chapman, 54: The Missile - Didi Gregorius, 18: Sir Didi - Clint Frazier, 77: Red Thunder - Austin Romine, 27: Ro - Adam Warren, 43: Rocket - Chase Headley, 12: Head - Jacoby Ellsbury, 22: Chief - Chad Green, 57: Greeny - Luis Cessa, 85: Quique - Aaron Hicks, 21: A-A Ron - Michael Pinea, 35: Big Mike - Sonny Gray, 55: Pickles - David Robertson, 30: D-Rob - Greg Bird, 33: Bird - CC Sabathia, 52: Dub - Jaime Garcia, 34: J Gar - Matt Holliday, 17: Holliday - Todd Frazier, 29: Toddfather - Jordan Montgomery, 47: Monty - Ronald Torreyes, 74: Toe

[Frayed Knot]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: - Seth Lugo, 67: Quarterrican

I'm guessing this is Lugo's claim to being one quarter Puerto Rican

[A Boy Named Seo]

It should also be pointed out that those v-neck blue tops with the orange sleeves and orange caps look pretty crappy.

Edited August 9, 2017 by Guest

[Edgy MD]

In fact, they look goopy.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Absolutely shocking development: all of the jerseys, t-shirts, and caps are on sale NOW!!!! including Tommy "Please just call me Tommy Milone" Milone.

[ashie62]

I'd wear an ad for my wife's waxing salon.

"The Lunch Box."

[Lefty Specialist]

This is stupid. And it all started with Ichiro, whose jersey should have read 'Suzuki'.

Therefore, fuck Ichiro.

[RealityChuck]

As far as names are concerned, Carlos May had his birthday on the back of his uniform.*

Lugo definitely has the best nickname of the bunch.


*May 17

[Guest 41Forever]

Lefty Specialist wrote: This is stupid. And it all started with Ichiro, whose jersey should have read 'Suzuki'. Therefore, fuck Ichiro.

Vida Blue says "Ichiro who?"

[seawolf17]

They had a huge rack of SCOOTER 30 shirts right in the front of the team store today.

[Edgy MD]

It makes me think that Michael Conforto dreams of being a comically inept broadcaster, or that he likes to wipe his butt on the ground.

Hey, see if you can pick me up one of the BRUUUCE shirts for under $3.

[nymr83]

this is lame. unless they sell Bartolo Colon "BIG SEXY" jerseys, then i'm down.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Ashie62 wrote: I'd wear an ad for my wife's waxing salon. "The Lunch Box."

Your wife's waxing salon's name confuses me more than "Goopy."

Sure, this is stupid. But so are high-fives. So are home runs. It's kind of dumb, but also fun (or at least potentially fun), and not literally game- changing. So why not, you fuggin' cranks?

[bmfc1]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Why is Steven Matz known as RENO?

Because it's a gamble every time he pitches.

[bmfc1]

Ceetar wrote: I'm sure the Yankees will beg out and continue believing all their fans were born in 1892.

Front page of today's New York Post. Not the back page, and even more important than the words of their guy.

[Lefty Specialist]

There are no pinstripes on their road uniforms. Just sayin'.

[Edgy MD]

Yeah, they clarify that in the callout box, because somehow they couldn't work it into the title or subtitle.

And then they put a nickname quiz on pages two and three, because it's not like we're saber rattling with a nuclear-armed rogue state or anything.

[metirish]

It all feels terribly forced

[Edgy MD]

Speaking of "terribly forced," please allow me to say that "All Rise" is a TERRIBLE nickname. Nobody says "Hey, All Rise, throw me the ball!" or "Nobody got anywhere with that girl, but she hasn't met All Rise!"

"All Rise" is a tagline, not a nickname. Calling him "All Rise" is like calling Pete Rose "By Any Other Name" or calling Dave Kingman "It's Good to Be."

"Hizzoner" is a nickname for a guy named Judge. "Wapner" is a nickname for a guy named Judge. "All Rise" is goofy. If it wasn't for the contrived nature of the Players Weekend enterprise and the contrived nature of John Sterling's home run calls, I'd say it was so bad that it's almost good. But it screams of amateurs doing a job meant for professionals, children doing a job meant for adults, AND adults doing a job meant for children.

It is, in a sense, a perfect nickname for a our times.

[Guest themetfairy]

I'm amused by Josh Phlegley's choice -

[TransMonk]

The Mets were quick to remove the BRUUUCE jersey from the Mets.com promo.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Trying to figure out Jerry Blevins' nickname of "Gordo". His name isn't Jerry Gordon Blevins or anything, and at 6'6", 190, he's decidedly not gordo. Reverse nick from one of the Spanish speaking teammates?

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

A Boy Named Seo wrote: Trying to figure out Jerry Blevins' nickname of "Gordo". His name isn't Jerry Gordon Blevins or anything, and at 6'6", 190, he's decidedly not gordo. Reverse nick from one of the Spanish speaking teammates?

I think that's it (or a self-given ironic nick). He's always been whip-thin.