Sudden Injuries

[Edgy MD]

Breaking news. Looks like the Mets will be shorthanded tomorrow:

[list:17brfxbz][*:17brfxbz]Jon Niese: Lost an ear in a knife fight over a parking space.

[/*:m:17brfxbz]
[*:17brfxbz]Juan Uribe: swallowed a yo-yo.

[/*:m:17brfxbz]
[*:17brfxbz]Brandon Nimmo: Massive sunburn.[/*:m:17brfxbz][/list:u:17brfxbz]

[Benjamin Grimm]

I think we all saw all three of those things coming a mile away.

[Centerfield]

Yoenis Cespedes: Hit By Bus.

Bus totaled. Cespedes day-to-day.

[Edgy MD]

Great to have BG back by the way.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Thank you!

[Edgy MD]

Shit. Reports that Parnell just went down.

Puffer fish.

[Centerfield]

Edgy MD wrote: Shit. Reports that Parnell just went down. Puffer fish.

Need more info. Was he attacked by one or did he eat one?

[Edgy MD]

Attacked by one. While taking this photo.

[Frayed Knot]

This thread is ripe for a satiric crack about a bizarre gardening accident but of course Bobby Ojeda already had one of those as a Met.

[Guest d'Kong76]

Coach Cuddy: Chronic laryngitis.
Put on the 10 day publicly-unable-to-speak-for-team list.

Oh, if Cespedes can put a bus out of commision... what would
happen if a subway hit Bartolo?

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

Wilmer Flores: clogged tear ducts.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Centerfield wrote: Yoenis Cespedes: Hit By Bus. Bus totaled. Cespedes day-to-day.

Bad ass!

[Lefty Specialist]

d'Kong76 wrote: Oh, if Cespedes can put a bus out of commision... what would happen if a subway hit Bartolo?

Why, he'd eat it, of course.

[MFS62]

O'Flaherty - almost choked on a lead. Saved by Familia.

Later

[Edgy MD]

Ruben Tejada: kiln explosion.

Eric Campbell was nearby, but strangely unharmed.

[Lefty Specialist]

Edgy MD wrote: Ruben Tejada: kiln explosion. Eric Campbell was nearby, but strangely unharmed.

And can he find dates for three of my friends?

[Guest themetfairy]

Curtis Granderson - Suffering from toxic fumes inhaled from his autograph Sharpie.

[Guest themetfairy]

Noah Syndergaard - Choked on a sandwich he was trying to finish before anyone saw him eating in the clubhouse.

[Guest d'Kong76]

Murphy sustains concussion after confrontation with dangerous
Miami gang, Los Gayos de Florida.

[Theoldmole]

I love this thread.

[Fman99]

Daniel Murphy, ruptured anus. After years of hatred and closed mindedness claimed he only wanted to "make sure he wasn't missing out."

[Edgy MD]

Been a tough week for the Murph, clutch homer aside.

[Lefty Specialist]

Michael Conforto has dinner at local Medieval Times, has head severed by overzealous knight.

"At least", says Keith Hernandez, "it was a nice level swing."

[Guest d'Kong76]

"...nice level swing and he keeps his head in the game, folks."

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

d'Kong76 wrote: "...nice level swing and he keeps his head in the game, folks."

Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!