Adios El Capitan

[Ceetar]

Mets � Willets Point wrote: The Poison Control Center advises keeping a copy of this handy in case accidental ingestion of poisons requires induced vomiting. Actually, reading this I'm wondering if Poe's Law needs to be invoked.

Oh god.

Is it too late to cancel my lunch order?

[dinosaur jesus]

Mets � Willets Point wrote: The Poison Control Center advises keeping a copy of this handy in case accidental ingestion of poisons requires induced vomiting. Actually, reading this I'm wondering if Poe's Law needs to be invoked.

No comments allowed on the ESPN site? What a shame.

[Guest d'Kong76]

There's some serious c*** s****** going on in that
piece. Rooster's crow, too funny.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

I'm all puked out after seeing this douche:

[Edgy MD]

Mets � Willets Point wrote: The Poison Control Center advises keeping a copy of this handy in case accidental ingestion of poisons requires induced vomiting.

Blocked at work. Hah!

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

[youtube:2076vggd]X03_bNuihLU[/youtube:2076vggd]



Still having trouble inserting YouTube videos here. (Help! Edgy!)

But note the Mets in this gaggy Jordan Jeter Farewell video -- and how the faces and uniform numbers are pixelated out?

Can we figure out which Mets got roped into this?

[Ceetar]

Mets Guy in Michigan wrote: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X03_bNuihLU [youtube]X03_bNuihLU[/youtube] Still having trouble inserting YouTube videos here. (Help! Edgy!) But note the Mets in this gaggy Jordan Jeter Farewell video -- and how the faces and uniform numbers are pixelated out? Can we figure out which Mets got roped into this?

Probably, but I'd have to watch it then and well..

(you just want the stuff after the last = for the youtube tag.)

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Thanks!

I think Gee is on the end.

[G-Fafif]

Excellent kickoff to Nike's "your cap can double as a barf bag" campaign.

[seawolf17]

Totally agree. Although the Mets part is pretty funny.

[G-Fafif]

Klapisch again?

Behind pixelation looms the truth. Nike suggests the Mets are afraid to be seen paying proper homage to The Captain. The truth is Derek Jeter has been obscuring the other team in town for two decades. Long gone is the shadow the mighty Mets of the '80s cast. It was replaced by a state-of-the-art New Millennium icon who wears a "2" but established himself as the "1" prior to the turn of the century. If we can't quite make out who the Mets are anymore, it's not technology. It's Jeter. In the wake of his eternally glowing presence, all teams who aren't the Yankees but dare to play in his geographic proximity are destined to tip their caps silently and blurrily. The Captain's soft rain has left the Mets soaked in futility.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

G-Fafif wrote: Klapisch again? Behind pixelation looms the truth. Nike suggests the Mets are afraid to be seen paying proper homage to The Captain. The truth is Derek Jeter has been obscuring the other team in town for two decades. Long gone is the shadow the mighty Mets of the '80s cast. It was replaced by a state-of-the-art New Millennium icon who wears a "2" but established himself as the "1" prior to the turn of the century. If we can't quite make out who the Mets are anymore, it's not technology. It's Jeter. In the wake of his eternally glowing presence, all teams who aren't the Yankees but dare to play in his geographic proximity are destined to tip their caps silently and blurrily. The Captain's soft rain has left the Mets soaked in futility.

Aaaannnnddd there goes lunch!

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

I invoke Poe's Law.

[seawolf17]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

http://deadspin.com/exclusive-the-original-cut-of-nike-jordan-jeter-re2pe-1604706926

[Guest themetfairy]

seawolf17 wrote: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL http://deadspin.com/exclusive-the-original-cut-of-nike-jordan-jeter-re2pe-1604706926

Perfect antacid to the barf-o-rama original.

[Farmer Ted]

"He's a bi-racial angel!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWsUxkpv2_k

[metsmarathon]

so my takeaway from that awful, awful video is that derek jeter demands so greatly that we all show him the respect he deserves, that he's just gonna stand there in the batters box not doing a damned thing until he's sure we've all paid our due homage.

jerk.

[Edgy MD]

Farmer Ted wrote: "He's a bi-racial angel!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWsUxkpv2_k

I have an ongoing argument with my wife, that acting ain't no big thing. That virtually anybody can do it.

But not Jeter, apparently.

[Farmer Ted]

Derek Jeter coming out of the dugout wearing a white track suit? Bad acting. Bad wardrobe. Bad everything.

Using the word "tip" with Derek Jeter is more than appropriate, though.

[Guest d'Kong76]

Word out of Beijing is that China plans to launch five
nuclear missiles on San Diego, LA, SanFran, Portland,
and Seattle sometime in the very near future.

But first, more on tonight's Nike commercial...

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Marc Carig tweets: The blurred out Mets in the Jeter commercial were just actors except for Mr. Met. That was really him.

Hey, those weren't really Mets!!! Was it really Jon Lester?

So, like everything else about Jeter, it's all marketing and hype, smoke and mirrors!

[ashie62]

He had a pretty decent career...

[Guest d'Kong76]

More than decent, but the unprecedented fanfare over
his retirement is getting worse and worse. It's only July.

[Lefty Specialist]

Farmer Ted wrote: "He's a bi-racial angel!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWsUxkpv2_k

The best line: "You shoulda shot A-Rod!"

[seawolf17]

Leitch: http://t.co/kgbt3rb9mw

"And why did people want Wainwright to lie? Because now Jeter's night -- Jeter's perfect night -- was somehow sullied. Everybody had their stories written in the first inning. This was Jeter's last great moment, and of course he went 2-for-2 because he was special. Wainwright telling the truth meant that the Jeter's Great Night story had to have an asterisk. And Derek Jeter is never, ever supposed to have an asterisk."

[Ceetar]

http://deadspin.com/the-hater-s-guide-to-derek-jeter-1605937020/all

I'm surprised you can't buy pieces of him at the 9/11 museum.

[Edgy MD]

That "guide" doesn't get the half of it.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Yeah, I'm not down with that Deadspin take at all.

Honestly, I don't even hate Jeter as much as most blue and orange people probably do, or even so much what he represents. I mean, I'm sure he's a weenie, and probably an asshole, but what I cannot abide is the bullshit way the media and other large institutions break their backs carrying water for the guy and furiously banging out a narrative as though they'd been ordered to by the Great Bill Madden In The Sky. It's awful. It's insulting. If Jeter weren't an asshole relying on these folks for cover, I'm sure he'd be embarrassed and resent it.

[Frayed Knot]

As I've often said, it's not Jeter I have a problem with, it's the Jeter-ites.

The only thing that Deadpan thing gets right is the last part about ESPN, but that's just because the folks at Bristol:
a) are so star-driven that they reduce everything to just a handful of teams and players and shove those down your throats (Kobe, Kobe ... LeBron, LeBron ... Manning, Manning ... Brady, Brady ... etc)
and
aren't baseball fans so Jeter is one of the few players they actually know

[Ceetar]

Well, it's not that I have a problem with Jeter exactly, it's that I don't think he's any better/nicer/classier/cleaner than any other ballplayer. He's a lot like Shane Victorino really.

But yeah, most of it's the double-standard from the media and from fans. But here's a thought, what's the latest year that you won't be able to find a random Yankee-hat wearing "fan" that won't answer "Derek Jeter" when you ask him who the Yankees Shortstop is? 2017? Or is this retirement thing that widespread that even the fans that only like Yankee posts on facebook and never watch games will be aware of it?