Division Foes 2012: The Marlins

[Edgy MD]

Hey! Guess who has a really awful theme song?

hw2HtRQ2U8Y

Points for going for the "Miami sound"? I guess. If you like that sort of thing.

[Guest themetfairy]

It goes with the sculpture, you can't deny that.

[Edgy MD]

Certainly. But I guess garish sculpture doesn't bother me as much as garish music.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

It's "Miami sound" the way a rapping Pillsbury doughboy is "South Bronx." Put another way, it's a Cuban made with Wonder Bread, canned ham, and expired Miracle Whip.

Which is all to say, considering it's for a fanbase that generally needs lessons on what to wear/how to root when their teams make the playoffs... it couldn't be more appropriate.

[Ceetar]

I think the Marlins may have passed the Braves for hated franchises in my eyes.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

At least for the moment... oh yeah.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Fuck these guys

[Edgy MD]

The last Marlins song:

[youtube:27d9jqvt]fof40yqaW1U[/youtube:27d9jqvt]

Oh, dear.

[Ceetar]

[G-Fafif]

(All but one of) The Marlins suck. Fuck them.

[TransMonk]

Nope, they ALL suck. They will be the baseball equivalent of the 2011 Philadelphia Eagles: lots of fanfare and big names without the cohesion and consistency to back it up.

[bmfc1]

I hope that TransMonk's assessment is correct. If Josh Johnson is healthy, this could be a 1st place team. Gaby Sanchez had a bad 2d half (he's a superstar against the Mets) so we'll see which half was accurate; Giancarlo Stanton is great; we know how good the SS is; the 3B could implode if he has fielding problems at his new position; I like Bonafacio but I don't know if he's an everyday CF; the 'pen is weak after Heath Bell.

[Vic Sage]

I see the Marlins offenses as boom or bust this year, largely predicated on their new 3bman's ability to return to form at a new position. The lineup has alot of speed, with Reyes/bonafacio/Ramirez at the top of the order, and enough power with Ramirez/Stanton/Logan/Sanchez in the middle, to score runs in bunches, but may be hamstrung by a pouty Ramirez and/or a low OB%. Their rotation is similarly boom/bust with a great SP in Josh Johnson fronting a talented staff with the solid Buehrle, erratic Nolasco, FA-to-be Anibel Sanchez and dangerous & flaky Carlos Zambrano, any of whom could win a cy young or totally implode. If Johnson is hurt again, they'll likely collapse. The pen is built on Heath Bell, who has alot of mileage on him and has started to show signs of wear. But Mujica is an underrated setup guy, and young guns Webb, Dunn and Cishek have shown some good signs.

all in all, this is the toughest team in the division to project; they could win it going away or fight the Mets and Braves for the cellar. I'll split the difference and call them 3rd, with a shot at the 2nd WC.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Edgy DC wrote: The last Marlins song: [youtube]fof40yqaW1U[/youtube] Oh, dear.

Holy shit.

[Edgy MD]

I know, right?

Someday, your kids are going to ask you about grunge-era music, and you're going to have to explain it to them. Our whole culture was constipated from 1994 to 2004.

[metsmarathon]

Edgy DC wrote: Hey! Guess who has a really awful theme song? [youtube]hw2HtRQ2U8Y[/youtube] Points for going for the "Miami sound"? I guess. If you like that sort of thing.

good god it sounds like somehting i'd expect to hear at a disney parade, and not one of the better ones.

[Frayed Knot]

I'm suspicious of the odds for success when a team dips heavily into Free-Agency in an attempt to make themselves insta-contenders as opposed to teams who are looking for a few pieces to put themselves over the top.

Look, the Marlins lost 90 games last year and, while one can claim they did so without Josh Johnson or a normal year from Hanley, just about any club can point to bad breaks from the previous year and therefore claim that they weren't really that bad and treat their imagined record as the base to improve from instead of the actual one. Usually that doesn't work.

Instead, with a new stadium to fill and a quotable, Latin manager to lead them, they went for Reyes, Buehrle, and Bell as FAs and Zambrano via the trade [read: accept a bad contract] route in an attempt to make up ground all at once. Good luck.

[Vic Sage]

I'm suspicious of the odds for success when a team dips heavily into Free-Agency in an attempt to make themselves insta-contenders as opposed to teams who are looking for a few pieces to put themselves over the top. Look, the Marlins lost 90 games last year and, while one can claim they did so without Josh Johnson or a normal year from Hanley, just about any club can point to bad breaks from the previous year and therefore claim that they weren't really that bad and treat their imagined record as the base to improve from instead of the actual one. Usually that doesn't work. Instead, with a new stadium to fill and a quotable, Latin manager to lead them, they went for Reyes, Buehrle, and Bell as FAs and Zambrano via the trade [read: accept a bad contract] route in an attempt to make up ground all at once. Good luck.

yeah, its unlikely to all come together, but there's enough talent there to consider them a contender. And diminishing the impact of losing key players is one thing... but Johnson and Ramirez were far and away their BEST and most important players. If they both come back and play as expected, they'll be in it. If they don't they won't.

[Frayed Knot]

Note to Ozzie: Praising Fidel Castro doesn't go over too well in south Florida.

[Edgy MD]

Hey, you were the one who euphemized Ozzie as "quotable" when what you really meant was that he was an uunrestrained jackass.

[Guest metsguyinmichigan]

I like the home run spinning fishy thing. And the new uniforms aren't as awful as people make them seem.

Ozzie, who lives in Miami, should know better than to say what he said. I thought it would take him more than four games to put his foot in his mouth.

We know all too well what happens when teams start throwing boatloads of money at the best players available instead of players who actually fill a need. I don't fear the fish.

[G-Fafif]

Edgy DC wrote: Hey, you were the one who euphemized Ozzie as "quotable" when what you really meant was that he was an uunrestrained jackass.

You mean there are restrained jackasses?

[Edgy MD]

Sure. Me, for instance.

[Piggiestomatoes]

Wrong, just plain wrong...

[Frayed Knot]

Ozzie flying back to Miami - from the current Marlin road trip in Philly - just to do a press conference tomorrow morning to explain his Castro remarks.

[TransMonk]

Breaking news via CNN.com:

Miami Marlins have suspended manager Ozzie Guillen for five games, effective immediately, team announces.

[Ceetar]

press conference coming. Having (and promoting) a press conference for a guy that got in trouble for public comments feels weird.

[Benjamin Grimm]

He gets suspended for saying he likes Castro? What happened to freedom of speech? It looks like the Communists have won!

Oh... wait...

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Srsly. I understand there's no point in saying anything pro-Castro in Miami, but the Marlins hired this guy precisely because he'd say things to get into the headlines. To punish him when he does, only days into his first season, is completely gutless and a completes a clusterfuck all over. The Marlins are a disgrace.

[Ceetar]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Srsly. I understand there's no point in saying anything pro-Castro in Miami, but the Marlins hired this guy precisely because he'd say things to get into the headlines. To punish him when he does, only days into his first season, is completely gutless and a completes a clusterfuck all over. The Marlins are a disgrace.

Not that they're not a disgrace, but they further extend the headlines and drama by suspending him. And then get to talk about it more when he returns.

Then they'll sign Tim Tebow. wait, that's not right.