The Further Travails of Miguel Cabrera

[Valadius]

Miguel is back on the booze:

Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was arrested late Wednesday on suspicion of drunken driving in Florida, police said, the latest episode for the first baseman who has struggled with drinking-related problems. The 27-year-old Cabrera was spotted by a deputy in a car with a smoking engine alongside a road in Fort Pierce. Inside the vehicle, Cabrera smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and took a swig from a bottle of scotch in front of a deputy, according to the St. Lucie County Sheriff�s Office. He refused to cooperate and more deputies were called to the scene. According to the police report, Cabrera was wandering into the road with his hands up before he was handcuffed. He kept saying, �Do you know who I am? You don�t know anything about my problems,� and cursed at deputies who tried to get him into a patrol car.

The mugshot:



Dude, get some help.

[Guest themetfairy]

I think that's the cheeriest mugshot I've ever seen!

[seawolf17]

See if they'll take Ollie for him.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

A little more detail:

Cabrera's car was on the side of the road, his engine smoking, when a deputy pulled over to assist. With bloodshoot eyes and slurred speech, "I am going to (expletive) kill him," Cabrera is quoted as saying. The deputy saw no one else in the vehicle or in the area. Cabrera, of Boca Raton, grabbed a bottle of James Buchanan's scotch and started drinking.

Imaginary friend? President's ghost? Mischevious talking car? (Hell, if Hasselhoff's any indication... KITT's a terrible sponsor.)

[batmagadanleadoff]

A little more detail.

"Do you know who I am, you don't know anything about my problems," Miguel Cabrera is quoted as saying. A deputy reported Cabrera was put in handcuffs after not following orders. Cabrera also "kept running out in the road with his hands up." A deputy asked Cabrera to get his a patrol vehicle, and he said, "(Expletive) you." Deputy subdues Cabrera Miguel Cabrera pushed off a vehicle into a deputy, who "delivered 3-4 knee spikes" into Cabrera's left thigh. In addition to the DUI charge, Miguel Cabrera faces two misdemeanor counts of resisting an officer without violence. Sheriff's officials also issued Cabrera a citation for open container of alcohol in a motor vehicle. Miguel Cabrera, who bats and throws right handed, refused to take a breath test. A DUI case report lists Miguel Cabrera's attitude as belligerent, cocky, combative and argumentative.

I'm thinking that Miguel's auto mechanic ought to go into hiding until this blows over.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Cabrera should have said, "You can't do this to me! I'm fucking Snooki!"

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

A DUI case report lists Miguel Cabrera's attitude as belligerent, cocky, combative and argumentative.

The arresting officer really could've saved some form space by going with "Zambranoesque" there.

[seawolf17]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Cabrera should have said, "You can't do this to me! I'm fucking Snooki!"

"You and everybody else, pal. Hey, Phil, have him checked for VDs when he gets to the station house."

Miguel Cabrera, who bats and throws right handed, refused to take a breath test.

Huh?

[Guest Edgy DC]

Miguel Cabrera, who bats and throws right handed, refused to take a breath test.

Now that's an odd construction.

When I get busted, I want it to say, "Edgy, who edits with the AP Style Guide, refused to take a breath test."

Congratulations to the deputies who got him off the road.

[Guest metsguyinmichigan]

People here in the newsroom are pissed! This nutcase is the centerpiece for their team.

They're also wondering what the hell he was doing in Port St. Lucie. Was he going after one of the Mets?

[Benjamin Grimm]

Maybe he was trying to buy the team.

[G-Fafif]

Lakeland must be pretty boring if he was trolling St. Lucie for fun.

Or is that what the Scotch is for?

[Valadius]

In defense of Port St. Lucie, the city has actually grown rapidly during the last decade. Its population jumped from 89,000 to 155,000 between 2000 and 2009. Of course, besides the Mets, I can't quite speak for whatever attractions the city has.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Besides pissing in parking lots, you mean?

Tons!

[Gwreck]

Valadius wrote: In defense of Port St. Lucie, the city has actually grown rapidly during the last decade. Its population jumped from 89,000 to 155,000 between 2000 and 2009. Of course, besides the Mets, I can't quite speak for whatever attractions the city has.

Suburban sprawl does not mean interesting. Have you ever been to Port St. Lucie?

[Guest themetfairy]

Gwreck wrote: Valadius wrote: In defense of Port St. Lucie, the city has actually grown rapidly during the last decade. Its population jumped from 89,000 to 155,000 between 2000 and 2009. Of course, besides the Mets, I can't quite speak for whatever attractions the city has. Suburban sprawl does not mean interesting. Have you ever been to Port St. Lucie?

I was there last spring. There's Duffy's, and practically nothing else of interest once practice is done for the day.

[Guest Edgy DC]

themetfairy wrote: I think that's the cheeriest mugshot I've ever seen!

Looks like the ID tag for a friendly hospital orderly. You'd figure with a DUI combined with a resisting arrest, you'd get a Glen Cambell-type defiance in the photo.

[ashie62]

He probably doesn't feel too cheerful now.

Topps should use the mugshot photo in the next set.

[nymr83]

In defense of Port St. Lucie, the city has actually grown rapidly during the last decade

I only knew that because Jason Isringhausen said so when he was interviewed the other day.

[Guest Edgy DC]

"Best shape of his life."

[seawolf17]

Edgy DC wrote: "Best shape of his life."

So's Ollie. Ollie, Castillo, and we'll throw in the ghost of Lastings Milledge's talent for him.

[Farmer Ted]

...grabbed a bottle of James Buchanan's scotch and started drinking...

That's called going down swinging.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Adam Kennedy: white, scrappy, the newest Mariner, and busted for DUI.