Pirates

[Guest Edgy DC]

What about them?

[DocTee]

They've just finished a five-game set with San Francisco (three in Cali, F-Sunday, then a doubleheader on Monday in the Steel City)...they won the first four, but surrended 10 in the finale, meaning thier pitching is prolly tired.

[Benjamin Grimm]

The Mets have to win three games against the Pirates. That third win would make up for losing two of three to the Marlins.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Are we facing their good starters or their bad starters?

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

Ian Snell pitches tonight -- he's good but the Mets beat him up pretty good last month at Shea.

[metirish]

The fans are staying away from PNC Park in droves ever since the bloom left the rose because of a lousy team.

[Guest attgig]

duque vs snell, maine vs morris, then.. lawrence vs armas

on paper, we beat them up pretty good.
but we were swept at pnc last year and have lost like the last 8 of 9 there...

[Guest Edgy DC]

The truth is that they didn't get that big a bump to begin with:

http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/PIT/attend.shtml

But they're still ahead of where they were in most of their best seasons.

[Farmer Ted]

I'll tell you what I know. I just called and got three tix at PNC 25 rows behind home plate for tomorrow night's John Maine instant classic. The Steelers started pre-season games, so baseball in the Steel City is OVER.

Here's one from earlier this season in The Onion:

PITTSBURGH�After five years of serving Pittsburgh as their state-of-the-art sporting facility, PNC Park, the home of the rundown, poorly maintained Pirates, said Tuesday it is threatening to leave Pittsburgh unless a new team can be built within the next three years.

"I love the city of Pittsburgh, but the Pirates are an old, dilapidated club built from other teams' spare parts, and its very foundation is rotting away," the stadium said to reporters assembled in its press box. "I had every intention to stay here for the duration of my career as a ballpark, but given that I haven't seen any realistic long-term plans for improving my resident team's ramshackle condition, I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about taking my services elsewhere."

The young stadium, regarded as one of the best of the recent crop of real-estate development projects throughout the league, added that "after this year's All Star Game, I have learned that a ballpark of my caliber deserves to host that kind of play every day."

"The Pirates have become such an eyesore that I've even had to resort to bringing in different teams each week to play in me," the stadium said.

Although Pirates owner Kevin McClatchy said he is doing everything in his power to keep the park in Pittsburgh�attempting a rebuilding process every few years, making small free-agent additions, and erecting a new six-foot-tall outfielder in left field�the stadium dismissed the moves as nothing more than "a fresh coat of paint on a team that's in danger of collapsing under its own weight."

Mets owner Fred Wilpon has been vocal about his interest in bringing PNC Park to New York for the 2007 season so that it may take over for an aging Shea Stadium.

"The New York Mets have all the necessary components in place to fulfill PNC Park's needs," Wilpon said. "We have a gleaming new shortstop in Jose Reyes. We have a visually stunning, jaw-dropping player in Carlos Beltran. And the infrastructure of our minor-league system is designed to ensure that PNC Park will be inhabited by great ballplayers for years to come."

"Also, PNC Park has already established a good rapport and budding friendship with this year's Home Run Derby runner-up David Wright�the bedrock of our team's stability," Wilpon added.

Though PNC Park would not elaborate on its relationship with Wright, it did say that Wright mentioned how much he enjoyed its dimensions, especially those in left and left-center.

Pittsburgh fans were irate upon hearing news of the stadium's possible relocation.

"If that ballpark left, this city would be devastated," said Pittsburgh resident Howard Valinsky. "I make a point of taking my kids down to the stadium during Pirates away games so they can stand outside of it and marvel at the rugged limestone and the blue steel�both of which have had an excellent year despite rainy conditions."

Valisnky added: "The fact that McClatchy hasn't given this stadium the sort of beautiful, well-designed team it deserves is a travesty. Let's face it, the Pirates have been falling apart for years. Frankly, I find myself wondering if it's even safe for fans to be near them."

The stadium echoed Valinsky's sentiments, saying, "The fans have been so great at being there for me. But if I can't hold a team that can compete, then what's supposed to hold me here?"

In a last-ditch effort to keep PNC Park, a citywide referendum will be added to this year's midterm election that, if passed, would draw from a property-tax fund to aid McClatchy in assembling a new, state-of-the-art team by 2010.

PNC Park, however, is not convinced.

"When I came here in 2001, they promised me a championship team," the stadium said. "I was warned by venerable and much-beloved Three Rivers Stadium�which imploded soon afterwards, as you know�that I should look elsewhere, that this team was set in its ways and not focused on rebuilding, that they were simply using me as a means to make money," the stadium said. "I was young and brash and I didn't listen. Now that I am more mature and have settled a bit, I realize I have to do what is best for me and my family."

In the event that the Pirate organization does not have the financial wherewithal to meet the park's demands, there are contingency plans in place to attract other stadiums to the city. While the league has said it frowns on the idea of putting an expansion stadium in the Pittsburgh area, some have floated the idea of bringing over old Tiger Stadium, which went into forced retirement in 2000.

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

You'd figgur coming off a DH would leave the pen roughed up but their guy did a complete game in Game 1 and they used only their blowout guys in the nightcap so they're relatively OK.

Snell his last time out hit Milledge with a pitch after Milledge did a demonstrative windmilly arm thing scoring.

[Centerfield]

Yancy Street Gang wrote: The Mets have to win three games against the Pirates. That third win would make up for losing two of three to the Marlins.

Looking at the nine-game stretch against the Marlins, Pirates and Nats, it's the portion of the schedule where you'd like to see them roll off a 7-2 run. That's tough now, as we'd need 6 straight wins. Even 6-3 will be tough, requiring 5 of the next six. Two out of three against Pittsburgh and Washington results in a 5-4 record over that stretch. That's not good enough.

[Willets Point]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

(A friendly reminder that Talk Like a Pirate Day is only 35 days away).

[Frayed Knot]

That might be the first linked Onion piece I've found funny in, oh maybe about 2 years.


Yesterday's 1st game of the DH was just what you want if you're a player or a fan:
Cain & Maholm hooked up and allowed 9 hits total in an hour & 51 minutes. Then they even got the 2nd game done in 2:33. If game times were routinely still like that there'd be more DHs these days.
(OK no there wouldn't, but it's still nice to see)

[bmfc1]

A new [u:e73c99b5df]Onion [/u:e73c99b5df]piece on the Pirates:

Pirates GM Unable To Trade Xavier Nady For Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter

August 2, 2007 | | Onion Sports
The Onion
Pirates GM Unable To Trade Xavier Nady For Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter

PITTSBURGH�Despite a series of phone calls to Yankees general manager Brian Cashman made right up to Tuesday's 4 p.m. trade deadline, Pirates GM Dave Littlefield was unable to secure the rights to surefire Hall of Famers Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter in exchange for those of rightfielder Xavier Nady. "I don't understand� This was a trade that could have benefited both teams," said Littlefield, frustrated by the Yankees' refusal to consider the trade even after Littlefield sweetened the deal by offering shortstop Jack Wilson for pitcher Mariano Rivera. "We would have gained sorely needed offense in the infield, while the Yankees had a chance to get a little younger and pare payroll at the same time. Plus, they could have bolstered their defense, as Xavier plays first base, too." Littlefield also confirmed that that the St. Louis Cardinals had pulled the plug on a potential Shawn Chacon-for-Albert Pujols deal at the last second.

[Benjamin Grimm]

I see what you mean about The Onion not being funny.

[Guest cooby]

metirish wrote: The fans are staying away from PNC Park in droves ever since the bloom left the rose because of a lousy team.

I'll be there tomorrow night...but as a fan of the Mets

[Frayed Knot]

Bring a sign that says: I Be Coo-Be so we'll know who you are.

[Guest cooby]

I'll go work on that

Anyway, you'll know me by the Mets clothes!

[Guest Rockin' Doc]

cooby - "Anyway, you'll know me by the Mets clothes!"

Well, that will narrow it down to roughly half the crowd.

[Guest cooby]

I'll give a full report as soon as I'm able

[Benjamin Grimm]

It hasn't been pretty, but the Mets are two thirds of the way towards that sweep I demanded earlier in this thread.

Right now, triple happiness is clearly a Mets win combined with losses by both the Phillies and the Braves. Triple Happiness tonight would be a nice way for me to depart into my two-week West Coast exile.

Let's Go Mets!

[Guest Edgy DC]

See, the thing about the Onion is that the title, or lead of the article, is almost always the beginning and end of the joke, and it's unsustainable through the body, leaving it all anti-climactic, like a Saturday Night Live sketch that's gone on way too long.

The headline on the lead story of today's editoin.

Fucking Yankees, Reports Nation

Ha! I read no furtther.

[Guest cooby]

Farmer Ted wrote: I'll tell you what I know. I just called and got three tix at PNC 25 rows behind home plate for tomorrow night's John Maine instant classic. .

Nuts, I wish I'd had seen this before I left

[Farmer Ted]

Yeah, nuts, I could have hitched a ride on the Fullington Express and gotten drunk.

[Guest cooby]

I'll bet you got home before we did though

[TransMonk]

The print-version of the Onion has a small blip at the bottom of the Sports Page:

Mets Baserunners Already Referring To Selves In Third Person
SEE BASEBALL page 32