Name Those Mets Beards

[seawolf17]

I was 100% confident that was Pedro Feliciano, but it's not because handedness.

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

I'm going with Pedro too... The 50 anniversary patch limits the lefties on that squad

[Edgy MD]

[fimg=400]https://metsmerizedonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/dominic-smith.jpg[/fimg]

Buck, you're killing me. Everybody knows Feliciano uses his

left arm to throw, not his right. The guy just above you just

wrote that he eliminated the Perpetual One based on

handedness.

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

Doh. In that case, its Mike bascik?

[Edgy MD]

[fimg=450]https://calltothepen.com/wp-content/uploads/getty-images/2018/08/1023312286.jpeg[/fimg]

Not Boychik.



This guy had a beard through most of his Mets tenure — a normal

beard that just grows on your cheek and chin and in front of your ears.



Apart from keeping his neck clean, he didn't do a lot of border-work

or sculpting. It was just a beard. But somewhere in there, he decided

to get ... weird. His beard begged for a nickname of its own.

[seawolf17]

Dillon Gee?

[Edgy MD]

[FIMG=450]https://content.sny.tv/assets/images/1/9/0/310966190/cuts/750x422/cut.jpg[/FIMG]

Gee it be.



Dillon was a facial-hair guy. No big whoop. The testosterone that

made him a big league pitcher also took from his scalp and gave to

his chin. And other places. The man could make body hair grow.



But some crazy shit happened around 2012. Some say he turned a

witch disguised as a beggar from his door. Others say he spoke ill

of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%8Ch%C3%A1paCapa, the Lakota beaver god. More common is the far simpler

notion that he lost a bet.



To Pete Rose.



What all agree on is that a small woodland mammal apparently

crawled right up on to his face one night, attached itself, and died.

What he was left with was enough to get him a spot as guest villain

on one of BML's Bat-Man cards.



The Buono Tutti Barba, it became known as, and it was Dillon's

close companion through 2012 into 2013. It even co-starred with him

on PlayStation3.



http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pj0ZLC8MChc/T4TtdI-QCKI/AAAAAAAAC98/tQ-KUyTvcJk/s640/MLB-12-The-Show.jpg>



Despite the beard, or because of it, Dillon had his most successful run

during this period, making him the Mets unlikely opening day starter in

2014, a role which he blessedly took on with a face as hairless as the

ass of a Lithuanian toddler. Though, maybe the beard had some powers.

The Mets took the loss that afternoon, one of only three losses in their

last 14 openers. Dillon would miss 1/3 of the season with injury and

would never pitch effectively for the team again.



Sometimes, you shouldn't fuck with the beard.

[Edgy MD]

[FIMG=450]https://www.baseballamerica.com/media/10540/dominic_smith_michaelreavesgetty.jpg[/FIMG]



It is said that some are born bearded, some achieve beardiness, and

some have a beard thrust upon them.



For this Met, his glorious facial whiskers were pretty much his

birthright.



https://metsrostercentral.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/beard.gif>

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

That's uh, Kevin Kobel. He was always good for a coupla K's

[Edgy MD]

[fimg=450]https://elitesportsny.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Dom-Smith-scaled-e1575402181598.jpg[/fimg]

Whoever that was behind me who said that ... no, it's not Kevin

Kobel.

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

Ed Glynn then. Am I allowed to double guess?

[Edgy MD]

[FIMG=450]https://themetssiahdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/img_5287-1.jpg[/FIMG]

I guess so, but if you double-guess, I show you the middle-aged

dad-bod I was rocking at 21, plus my super-cheesy little-boy-with-

Jesus tattoo.



Did somebody ask for a BEAR?



(Not Ed Glynn.)

[Frayed Knot]

Randy Jones

[Edgy MD]

[FIMG=450]https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/milb-entmedia-prod-us-east-1-genie-data/opprops-genie-prod/SNY/thumbnails/e4f7f080-ab48-11e9-930a-d1350c0fd81c/20190720sny-mets-sound-00_01_21_48-still001-960x540.jpg[/FIMG]

No, it's not Jones, but you wouldn't be the first guy to look at my

beefcake photo and think Randy thoughts.



This guy made folks think about beards even when he wasn't rocking

one.



This is our final beard of the program. So it's time to buzz in.

[ashie62]

Randy Niemann?

[seawolf17]

That is, in fact, the incomparable Dwight Bernard.

[Edgy MD]

[FIMG=450]https://www.nydailynews.com/resizer/f02L2Y82iFoGFJRhzdDVtrv46cM=/1400x0/top/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tronc.s3.amazonaws.com/public/TVMWIW2YHEGZ5AIHDF3I3NCETI.jpg[/FIMG]

And you are our last point-getter! We're calling Lunchbucket our

winner because he participated most and times are hard and a

participation trophy is a nice break from the bullshit.



Seawolf would have walked away with the win if he had earned his

bonus points on that last question by stylizing his answer as

Dwight Bernard. Too bad!



NAME THOSE METS BEARDS was filmed live before a television audience at our studio in Television City, Los Angeles. All viewers in our studio audience will go home with prizes provided by our sponsors. I'm Edgy MD. On behalf of CBS, Dom Smith, and all of our NTMB family, we look forward to seeing you next time on ... NAME THOSE METS BEARDS! Good-bye everybody!

[batmagadanleadoff]

You have a live television audience?



What the hell's the matter with you?

[Edgy MD]

Ummm ... good point.

[Fman99]

Let me know when it's time to play "Name That Merkin."