You're David Wright

[Edgy MD]

You're David Wright and you get a call from Brodie Van Wangenen. "David," he says, "At the press conference this afternoon, I'm firing Mickey Callaway."



"I'm sorry," you respond. "It's your call of course, and I know the Mets are playing like shit, but it just seems so sudden."



He inhales deeply. "It's more than that, Dave. There have been photos and videos we've received that are deeply disturbing. "He apparently went to England and shouted rude things at the queen. Fishing with an expired license. Vile, vile shit."



You're stunned. "I had no idea. Who's your new guy?"



And then he drops it. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Dave."



"Hold on!" you shout. "I'm just getting used to private life. This isn't the time."



"David," he says firmly, "this is the time you're needed. If this breaks, the whole organization will be drenched in scandal. We're letting the whole staff go. They were virtually running a criminal operation. Tearing tags off mattresses. Bootleg DVDs. Redistributing ball games without the express written consent yadda yadda yadda. We need the good will that only a VERY METLY staff can bring. And I don't need to remind you. You're being paid generously just to look good."



"It's 2019," you answer, "WtF buys bootleg DVDs?"



"Stay on point, Wright!" he barks at you. "I'm announcing you as the manager in 20 minutes. There is so much disgrace and disgruntlement that the only thing the fans will accept with good will is the Metliest staff ever. I need your yes by 3:45, and I need you to have your staff named by tonight. I want exclusively former Mets that YOU have played with. Twenty-first century men. Not just smart and talented guys, but real prospectively talented coaches, to your thinking. Pedro Martinez knows pitching but he's a little wacky. Beltran, you might think is a little aloof. But it's your call. Oh, and nobody who's already got a better job."



It's a bullshit lose-lose situation, but you're David Wright. You've rolled over for Jaerock Lee, and you fundamentally don't know how to say no to your organization. It's not in your makeup.



Who's your staff?

Bench Coach:

Batting Coach:

Ass't Batting Coach:

Pitching Coach:

Bullpen Coach:

First Base Coach:

Third Base Coach:

Quality Control Coach:

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

Bobby Vee is my bench coach.



I'll go with Cliff Floyd as my first base coach



Hitting coach? Edgardo Alfonso



assistant hitting coach is Dave Magadan



Pitching coach is some smartypants from the Internet



Bullpen coach ... uh, Armando Benitez



Third base belongs to Robin Ventura



When I need the Quality Controlled, there's only one name to call: Bruce Boisclair.

[Edgy MD]

Good work, but the request from Brodie is only Wright-era Mets that Boy David can vouch for.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Al Leiter for pitching coach.

[MFS62]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Al Leiter for pitching coach.

I'd prefer one with at least some familiarity with the stroke zone.

Somewhere on my bullpen coaching staff I'd find a place for Al Jackson.

He has been an every-era Met, and I think he was a minor league pitching instructor/ coach when David was in the minors. To me, that's close enough. He would tell them how a pitcher could throw more than 100 pitches.

I like many of Lunchie's list. Not sure who my bench coach would be - maybe Edgardo could perform double duty.

Later

[Edgy MD]

Brodie asks Wright for 21st century Mets, and Wright gives him Al Jackson.



I'm starting to think that the failure to thrive so far in 2019 isn't necessarily Brodie's fault.

[MFS62]

Then Brodie isn't asking the right question.

He should have asked for the people, in Wright's opinion, who would help build a winner. Why place a limit on that search? Age should not be a limiting factor. That is discriminatory and arbitrary and is like putting an upper age limit on Presidential candidates.

Later

[Edgy MD]

Because it's an exercise, and isn't really happening.

[seawolf17]

Fine, I'll play by Edgy's rules.



Bench Coach: Bobby V, definitely. Can show DW the ropes.

Batting Coach: Cliff Floyd is a brilliant idea.

Ass't Batting Coach: Paul LoDuca. Bonus: catching coach.

Pitching Coach: Pedro Martinez. Could teach these guys a little something.

Bullpen Coach: Pedro Feliciano. Nobody better.

First Base Coach: Edgardo Alfonzo. Needs to be back on the big league staff.

Third Base Coach: Joe McEwing. Who doesn't love Super Joe?

Quality Control Coach: The fuck is this? I don't know, but if you want quality, you'll get it from Carlos Delgado.

[Edgy MD]

I want Delgado for my batting coach.



McEwing is currently the bench coach for the White Sox, so I think third base is a demotion. I celebrate his inclusion but he might have be the bench guy.



Bobby V. and Edgardo, also excellent choices, wouldn't work with in the parameters either.

[smg58]

Edgy MD wrote: Good work, but the request from Brodie is only Wright-era Mets that Boy David can vouch for.

Aw man, Lenny Dykstra seemed like such a natural for Quality Control.



OK, I'll bite on this:



Bench Coach: Beltran

Batting Coach: Piazza

Ass't Batting Coach: Delgado

Pitching Coach: Pedro

Bullpen Coach: Glavine

First Base Coach: Ike Davis

Third Base Coach: Ty Wigginton

Quality Control Coach: Colon

[Edgy MD]

Ike Davis is an interesting choice.



"Hey, Ike. I'm sorry I smashed into you and neither of our careers were ever the same. Want a job?"

[smg58]

It's the least he could do. Plus, Valley Fever presumably wouldn't affect Ike's ability to coach.

[LWFS]

Bench: Uncle Floyd.

Batting: I like Moises, actually. But only until Murphy retires (wait for it; it won't be too long).

Pitching: Pedro is not only my pitching coach, but my new Jay Horwitz.

First Base: Beltran (I mean, he's only a top-3 guy in SB% all-time)

Third Base: Lo Duca (I kinda like a red-ass 3B guy; plus, it keeps him away from area high-schools around dismissal time)

Quality Control: Grandy



I like Delgado involved somehow, but from a front-office/community-relations standpoint.

[Edgy MD]

Bench goes to McEwing, who would come over from Chicago, because that wouldn't be a deterrent



Delgado is my batting coach, having only mild success at encouraging batters to keep a journal of their plate appearances. But McNeil is a convert, and he and his journal hit .397 together.



Moisés is Delgado's assistant. Mostly stays in the clubhouse, drinks water, and pees all over the rookies' hands.



Dickey is the pitching coach. He would be the second knuckleballer to hold the role for the Mets



Bullpen is Brian Schneider, also coaching catchers. He'll slmost never be noticed, but his wine will increase in value on the auctioneer's block, but still won't reach it's original retail price.



First Base: Is Eric Young, Jr. retired?



Third Base: Cliffy. Still limping. But aces at working umpires.



Quality Control: Angel Pagan?



If Young is still active, give first base to Pagán and invite Mike Cameron in for quality control. First lesson: Don't smash heads with your cleanup hitter.

[nymr83]

I love the premise of this thread, it would just be such a Mets move.



Who's your staff?

Bench Coach: Edgardo Alfonzo



Batting Coach: Cliff Floyd. I love Cliff Floyd, David Wright can still carry his bags.



Ass't Batting Coach: John Olerud. ok, I'm cheating here as he didn't play with Wright, but Wright stole his Jersey number and he remains my favorite Met and a great pure hitter/beautiful swing.



Pitching Coach: Pedro Martinez. his personality would be infectious in a good way!



Bullpen Coach: John Franco - hey, you say you wanted to appease the fans with sentimental favorites!



First Base Coach: tbd



Third Base Coach: Lastings Milledge, the Mets dont reach third base unless they are rounding the bases on a solo homer, and who better to high five guys on a homerun and stir up trouble?



Quality Control Coach: wtf is this?