Edgy MD wrote: Mets down, 4-1. "Honey, I think the dog needs an out." "OK, I'll take care of her." "Are you walking that way?" "Yeah, why?" "I was going to go with you. We need some things from Safeway." Family walks down to Safeway. Dog, who has grown rather immobile, gets towed in a wagon, but we put her out every few houses to sniff and maybe go pee or poo. We get to Safeway, and the wifey goes in for a few things. I find a strip of grass to put the dog out, but she just lies there until her mother comes out of the store, at which point, I pick her up and put her back in the wagon. We head back toward home and I get back to the screen, and realize my glasses are missing. They're just readers, but I've grown dependent on them. I squint at the screen and notice the Mets have fallen into a deeper hole, 6–2, and I feel sad, as well as stupid. My wife says not to worry, because I have backups, but shit, I just know I lost them bending over to pick up the dog one of the 11 times while I was out. So I grab my phone to use as a flashlight and head back out. I have to squint like a mofo to read the apps and get my flashlight working, and retrace my steps, taking time to search on any strip of grass we put the dog out at. The good news is ... I find my glasses! The bad news is ... they're all the way back at Safeway! The other good news is that the Mets got a run back, and Nogo had a sweet inning while I was typing this. The other good news is that I'm not going to ask my doctor if I need Keytruda. Let's go, Mets!! I nominate this for the annual essay for the second game of the year.