Edgy MD

The Mets host the Padres of San Diego, who ceased being the Padres to me when they forsook the mud-and-mustard color schema that made me proud to be an American. Hey, Will F. Venable, if it was good for Dave Winfield, it's good enough for you. The Padres had the third-worst record in the NL, were sellers at the deadline, but somehow came through it still holding on to the large buttocks of Heath Bell. Go figure. Quickly, now, please drive around to the next window and pick up your order. Catching is Rob Johnson, a going-nowhere 27-year-old with a bat that makes you savor Josh Thole. He came over from some terrible Mariners teams and somehow still found a big league life afterwards. The coolest thing about him is that he was born in Anaconda, Montana. If I was from there, I'd settle every argument with, "Fuck you, I'm from Anaconda, Montana," and that would be it. The Pads have also used Nick Hundley who at least hit once a week and had a catcher's name, but he's rehabbing. A 26-year-old rook named Luis Martinez got called up for Nickeas duty. First base was Brad Hawpe --- but after production that would make you cling to your sweet Daniel Murphy for dear life, his season was mercifully ended by the surgeon's blade. Jesus Guzman --- at 27 already the third too-old-to-be-a-rookie rookie in this essay --- has taken over, and indeed been a freaking terror, slashing .336 / .376 / .582 // .958 in 117 plate appearances so far. Injuries can be a blessing sometimes, Bud Black. With him hitting like that, you won't see much of his backup, Kyle Blanks, but look for this 1986 baby to pinch-hit with low average and high power. What's on second? The Pads have stayed mostly healthy there. Unfortunately, it was with Orlando Hudson, on the butt end of his career, and clocking in at .242 / .334 / .324 // .659 --- which I guess is averagish for NL secondbaseproduction, and not bad for this jive lineup, but not very gaudy for the two-time All-Star and four-time Gold Glover. Those days are gone forever. He should just let them go. There's my missus with the dinner bell. You take it from here, whoever you are.

Tough call. None of really had the vision, and the truth lies somewhere among Ceetar, LWFS, myself, and Vic Sage. Ceetar got the WAR exactly right. I nailed the OPS, but was wrong about how he'd get there. Sage was a few weeks late regarding the injury. The closest answers are in red. The best way to win those is to be the only guy to answer in a category. I had to interpret some of these answers --- generating Bucket's by adjusting Boswell's 1971 numbers according to his 1968 games started.

He's too good to be allowed to continue. If they haven't already secured a deal to make sure they profit off of a bowdlerized version of his act, MLB has lawyers on the case to do just that as we speak, I'm certain.

What did Harvey do against the Altoona Curve? IPHRERHRBBSO5.0300014 The Curve are a real professional team and everything. With bats and stuff. I mean, they've only gone .438 in the Eastern League this year, but that's .024 better than Backmanton. !

My first three questions: 1) You're wearing Tim Foli's number. You've gotta wonder how you're ever going to win jack in 19, right? 2) Look at that swoosh on your shirt. Are you a Met or Pepsi representative? Good God! 3) Is Dallas Green taking this team anywhere or is he just a placeholder? What have you heard about Bobby Valentine?

My point is merely that the five-year time frame isn't very meaningful.

I think Avastin's star is definitely falling for most uses, but is still considered effective for brain cancer.

The majority of pitchers should expect a major arm injury over the next five years, no? And if Wheeler somehow escapes that, who will remember a prediction made five years previous?

Anthony, how would you describe your... CAHNfidence? This would actually make a nice cable show: Confidence Now, with Fran Healy. Here's an easy quiz: Try and guess what Healy's first three questions to AY were in that post-game interview. You should come up with the same answers to tihis quiz whether you play this one straight or for laughs. 1) What were thinking? 2) What's it been like for you? 3) It had to have been a boost to your confidence, no? How does Fran Healy lose his job interviewing the Anthony Youngs of the world and end up exclusively interviewing Hall of Famers? Where do I sign up for the falling-upward plan?

Prentice Redman and Angel Berroa, Bridgeport Bluefish.

Reyes needs a day off.

That stings.

Again, I don't want to make too much of it. Tarasco seems like a decent guy and a committed baseball lifer, and as I mentioned in another thread, there's few enough African-Americans applying these days for that job (though I gather he's mixed-race). Maybe his position was that, if Corey was going to deal with the pressure by getting high, the least he could do is stick by him and act as a wingman. (Keith told of how he'd deal with a deep slump a handful of times in his career by getting roaring drunk, but not until he was sure he had a wingman looking out for him.) Anyhow, at least he got Corey to some medical care, instead of doing the paranoiac stoner thing of "Oh, God, oh, God! Get it gogether, man! Come on, Mark, snap out of it! We are so screwed! You gotta stop Mark, or we are so screwed! Where's my phone? WHERE'S MY PHONE?! Dude, it's Tony. I'm with this rookie pitcher and we are so STOKED but now he's sort of gone all still and shit and there's foam coming out of his mouth. I KNOW DUDE, I KNOW! Yeah, he's got a pulse, but his eyes aren't focused and he's not responding and shit! Where did you get this weed? NO, I'M NOT BLAMING YOU BUT... hello? hello? Oh shit! Oh, SHIT!! Mark, man, it's Tony! THINK, TONY, THINK! Ok, you totallly weren't here. You go around the corner, you place an anonymous call. WHERE THE FUCK AM I EVEN AT MAN!? WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?? YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKUP, TONY! And GODDAM YOU, JEFFREY MAIER! If I ever get out of this I'M GOING TO KILL THAT KID! Oh, man, snap out of it, Mark. Oh, Jeez, I just pissed myself..."

I guess I'm making too much of one incident, but if he's such a precious commodity, and there's such an historical level of scrutiny on this guy, why is he being placed in the emotional and developmental care of Tony Tarasco?

Kranepool needs to make an adjustment or two. He's been stuck on that number a while now, hasn't he?

If I had to compare Bryce Harper's situation to one guy's, I would say Ted Williams, landing his bomber in Korea when it was on fire. But that's just me.

Dillon Gee, wife-neglecting video drone.

HoJo meeting and greeting at Strawberry's in Douglaston tonight.

Anthony, how would you describe your... CAHNfidence? This would actually make a nice cable show: Confidence Now, with Fran Healy.

That double-down on San Diego would be kinda pointless for me. If anybody want to grab one of them, I'll take one of the unsquatted end-times series.

So... you're saying they're gay?

If he did The Rocketeer, that's enough for me. I'm there. I'm queer. Get used to it.

Yeah, I have trouble not thinking about this today. Be merciful to your high-paid underperformers, folks.

A scale of four stars or five? 1) Green Lantern 2) Thor

God? Really? Then I will rephrase. I wanted to know if your enjoyment (and yours alone) was at all affected by the relative glut of recent superhero movies --- the magic made less magical by it's increased relative availability. Because we went to Thor and Lantern at my wife's suggestion. I warned her that the potential for suckitude was high. We each disliked them both, and both disliked them each, and now I'm not sure I could drag her to Captain 'Merica, despite my interest in him being far greater than those other two costumed big shots.