OK, so you guys are a nice story. You're a small-market team that's won two WS in the last 20 years and has been at or near the top of the AL over the last half-dozen years blah, blah, blah - essentially doing what Billy Beane and Oakland are trying to but even better and with a lot less publicity. This year you lost Santana & Toriiiii Hunter are barely missed a beat even though Liriano has been out for most of the last 1-1/2 years and Carlos Gomez pretty much suxx. Alright so you decided to release Big Papi six years back after trying to turn him into an opposite field singles hitter but, hey, everyone misses one now and then. So now that I'm being nice to you can you do me a favor please? Can you beat the friggin Yanquis every once in a while? I'm mean, shit, you haven't won a season series in at least 6 years (I didn't look any further back than that) going a dismal 12-27 head-to-head in that time - and that doesn't even include the two playoff series where you got your doors blown in. This year, the schedule maker even gave you 3 series with them and you're off to a whopping 2-5 already. So do you think that maybe it's time to wake the fuck up and stop curling into the fetal position whereever you see pinstripes? You've got an extra series in your crappy indoor mall there where you won't even see those silly pinstriped pajamas and where you seem to be unbeatable against everyone else. So a sweep here would not only even the season series but you've got a ton of other incentives as well to at least not suck. You're 1/2 game out of the Central lead as I type this, plus only 1-1/2 behind Boston in the WC race and 2-1/2 ahead of these very Yanquis. And, seeing as how those Bronx bums already need the Hubble telescope just to see Tampa Bay in the standings, that means they'll have to catch BOTH the Red Sox AND the loser of the race between you and the ChiSox just to make the post-season. I mean you can't end their season right now, but you can make it so where they're taking on so much water that Al Gore will declare them to be a protected wet land. So give winning a try this week ... you might even find you like it. Oh, and by the way, you're facing Sydney Freakin' Ponson tonight. 2-0 Twins in the 6th. * As good a topic as any for my Seaver post