Paternity Leave

[Edgy MD]

Maybe "A Crap Do You Give?" should be a catch-all thread. Or a series! Or a blog! Or a hashtag!

We've become such an entitled society that we feel entitled to be liberated from the effects of another man's entitlements.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Maybe teams should provide free birth control to their players in the months of November, December, and January so that players won't have to miss any paternity time during the pennant race and post-season.

February too, to be extra careful.

[Guest cooby]

lol...

[Zvon]

I can't believe this is an issue for some folks. It's one of the most important moments in the young mans life. Of course he should be with his wife at this (that) time. So it was inconvenient for the team. That's the way the ball bounces. Tough shit. I doubt Collins was annoyed with Danny. More so the circumstances, or fate.

People can be such assholes.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

I do take some comfort in the fact that the only folks griping about his taking time off seem to be older and past their reproductive years, or young, in the extreme minority among their peers, and-- judging by their way with words-- apparently unlikely to fool a partner into reproducing their ilk.

[TransMonk]

metsmarathon wrote: i can't even believe this is an issue. seriously cannot fucking believe it. when minimm was born, i took a month off work. you know why? because i could. when �mml&r were born, guess what? i took another month off. you know why? because i could. i had the available leave and the flexibility in my workpalce allowed it. i'm super thankful for it. and i wish i could've taken more time off. you know why? because i'm a man, a father, a husband, and I AM A MAN. but what is a man? is a man just a meatbag with a hairy penis? is that all that makes me a man? a y-chromosome and 18 years under my belt? no. a man is a MAN. he is a provider for his family, and its protector. (allow me to dive off hte deep end of societal stereotyping and mookery here. men are so much more and so much less than that. but i cannot assault the argument without first fully embracing it). that's what a man does. that's what a man is. a man who does not provide for and protect his family is no man at all. amirite? well, once we've got that nonsense out of the way. let me ask a question. how exactly does one provide for his family? what does that even mean? is it just money? is that all i do? make money, give it to the family, and then my manly responsibilities are fulfilled? of course not. a man must provide love and support to his family. and when does a family need more love and support than when a new child is born into it? the babies need love. the mother just pushed a watermelon out of her (or had it cut out of her freaking abdomen!). your watermelon! you think she doesn't need love? babies are helpless. do they not need support? does that watermelon-producer not also need support, to the best and utmost of your abilities? and what of protecting the family? by loving and supporting hte mother and new babies, a man also protects his family proactively. protect the family from undue stress and difficulty, and also to a lesser extent from whackadoodle inlaws. a man protects his family from dangers not only physical, but also mental and emotional. and when are families more emotionally and mentally stressed than when a new child is born into it? no, manly man, your provisions and protections extend beyond a paycheck and a smelly armpit, especially when you are able. now, mind you, if a family is so fully dependent upon the paycheck of the man, then it is the man's obligation to find hte proper balance, for to forego pay altogether to be there for a new child can be counter-productive. so a family that's living paycheck to paycheck, more or less, may have to sacrifice the time the man spends with the new baby. but lets be real. the murphys are not in any way living paycheck to paycheck. daniel murphy is making $5.7M this year, and while i don't know if paternity leave is paid or not, even if its not paid, he'll undoubtedly be just fine. and while he's not yet reached his free agent years and has not yet gotten a long term contract, his job is fairly safe, and he may look forward to a decent major league career with tens of millions of dollars in salary over its course. he's already cleared the bar of providing for his family, financially. taking a month off may not be adviseable for him, in that it would then become detrimental to his career and also to his team. but three days is an exceedingly small drop in the bucket. moreover, and importantly, he is entitled to taking three days off. his union has won that provision and it is his to use. and use it he should. to not use it would be to not provide for his family, as the exceedingly small financial and career benefit does not outweigh the emotional and mental and physical benefit of him being with his new family for htose three scant days. a pro football player might not have the flexibility to miss a game or three following the birth of a child, as his season is shorter, his contract is not guaranteed, his career is more fleeting, the loss of a game check more pronounced, and hte threat of replacement on the depth charts more immediate. especially for a marginal player. but for an established major league baseball player? please. surely there are those who were unable to avail themselves of any such provision in their own lives, and who had to make the sacrifice of not being there for their newborn child because their own financial situation outweighed or threatened to outweigh the benefit of being there, but they should not begrudge him his luck and his success. and for mike francessa to begrudge him is preposterous. fuck that noise. fuck it right in the neck.

Bravo!

[metirish]

The Evening News with Brian Williams had this on tonight , including Murphs statement on it, suffice to say Murph is coming out of this looking like a great husband and father.

[Edgy MD]

Washington Post writing about it too.

Too bad nobody takes Francessa seriously enough for this to threaten his job. Too bad people look at his comments as representing a broad base rather than his need to fill air while knowing nothing.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Boomer Esiason wrote: �I was not telling women what to do with their bodies. I would never do that. That�s their decision, that�s their life and they know their bodies better than I do. And the other thing, too, that I really felt bad about is that Daniel Murphy and [his wife] Tori Murphy were dragged into a conversation, and their whole life was exposed. And it shouldn�t have been. And that is my fault.�

Boomer apologized. Will Francesa? (I doubt it!)

[Ceetar]

It sounds like he apologized for suggesting they should plan surgery, not necessarily that Daniel shouldn't be there.

[Theoldmole]

At least it was an apology.

[Guest Mixtapewormhole]

It was also one of those apologies that basically says "I'm sorry you misinterpreted what I said by taking it at face value but obviously I didn't actually mean any of that." The hell with him.

[metirish]

Big feature tonight on NBC Nightly News, this has started a "national debate" according to the bit, and yeah, men in this country get screwed when it comes to paternity leave. A whole load of people now know who Daniel Murphy is.

[smg58]

Metsmarathon basically said what I would have wanted to say, only ten times better.

Francesa and Esiason are on the losing side of history. The rest of us won't let the door hit their asses on the way out.

[Ceetar]

metirish wrote: Big feature tonight on NBC Nightly News, this has started a "national debate" according to the bit, and yeah, men in this country get screwed when it comes to paternity leave. A whole load of people now know who Daniel Murphy is.

Quick, national Paternity Leave for all! You have 5 months, get it done!

[Edgy MD]

It'd be amazing if this triggered federal legislation.

Don't see it happening, but it certainly could be set up as a wedge issue.

[Frayed Knot]

smg58 wrote: Francesa and Esiason are on the losing side of history. The rest of us won't let the door hit their asses on the way out.

It's not even the wrong side of history so much as it is the wrong side of common sense. Two guys with football mentalities (one played in the NFL, the other worships and shills for it) preaching the idea that each and every game is more important than life itself and therefore to miss one contest is not just an act that lets your teammates down but also lessens yourself as a man.
Boomer talking about undergoing elective surgery for the sole purpose of not interfering with the almighty schedule (which is EXACTLY what he said no matter how much he wants to re-write it after the fact) is just plain stupid not to mention incredibly invasive about something that's none of his fucking business; and Francesa's brag about him going to work the day after (or was it ten minutes after?) his kids were born is a lot easier to say and do when your home, your wife, and your job are all within a 20 mile radius, not 1,000 miles apart.

[Ceetar]

Edgy MD wrote: It'd be amazing if this triggered federal legislation. Don't see it happening, but it certainly could be set up as a wedge issue.

I read this first as 'wedgie issue' and was very confused.

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

I bow down before metsmarathon for the BEST. RANT. EVER.

Thank you for sharing that.

[metsmarathon]

Frayed Knot wrote: ...and Francesa's brag about him going to work the day after (or was it ten minutes after?) his kids were born is a lot easier to say and do when...

when your job is to sit in a chair and talk sports for a few hours a day, and maybe not fall asleep while doing so.

[metsmarathon]

this whole "fatherhood" thing is kindof a big deal to me. the notion that a father's entire obligation to his family is a sperm cell, a continuing paycheck, and maybe some harsh words for a snotty brat, is insulting and preposterous.

it is a relatively modern yet thoroughly antiquated construct based on chauvinism and sexism.

it needs to end.

women shouldn't put up with it and men shouldn't make them have to.

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

Agree 100%.

When each of my kids were born I had 20 days of family leave, which by the standards of employers in the United States is very generous, but by the standards of things that actually should have higher priority is still remarkably stingy.