Get off the Interstate NOW!!!!

[Edgy MD]

Ok, we're 16 games in. It's still early, but not so early that a sub-.200 batting average doesn't look really fugly. The following Mets are commanded to get above the Mendoza line forthwith.

Ike Davis. You are hitting .136. This is bad, Isaac, but it's nothing that a 5-5 day can't fix. Hits in your next five at-bats will get you up to .203. That's the stuff.

Scott Hairston. Batting .160 over there, Scott. That's a sick-looking puppy of a batting average. Two hits, brother. That's all I'm asking. Two hits and you're hitting .222 and while it won't get you into the Hall of Fame, we'll be talking about a new, more respectable you.

Mike Nickeas. Stop looking around as if you're otherwise engaged. I see you there. And I see here that you're hitting .071. Come the fuck on. That's just awful. Three straight hits, Mike. Then you're hitting a backup-catcherly .235 and we're all celebrating Michaelmas. You can do it. I know you can. Do you?

Jordany Valdespin. Congratulations on the worst at-bat of the year. Get me a hit today and we'll not speak of it again.

Andres Torres. Being hurt doesn't exempt you. You're 0-3 and you'd better come off the DL hitting. We've got games to win and we've got a fine offense to do it with. But I need you off the interstate at the ballpark.

[Guest The Second Spitter]

Edgy DC wrote: Mike Nickeas. Stop looking around as if you're otherwise engaged. I see you there. And I see here that you're hitting .071. Come the fuck on. That's just awful. Three straight hits, Mike. Then you're hitting a backup-catcherly .235 and we're all celebrating Michaelmas. You can do it. I know you can. Do you?

His body language is terrible. It reads: "I'm gonna get sent down whenever this team gets serious about contending. Until such time, I'm just happy to be here."

[Benjamin Grimm]

If that's what he thinks, he should be enjoying his job security.

[Edgy MD]

Davis down to .136. I should make him do laps.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Gotta figure the Valley Girl sits vs. Buerhle tomorrow, things being as they are and all.

[Ceetar]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Gotta figure the Valley Girl sits vs. Buerhle tomorrow, things being as they are and all.

For Lutzy? or Turnsy?

or was the 9th inning a sign and it's Valdespin at second and Murphy at first?

[TransMonk]

Terry after last night's game on PH for Ike:

�I love Ike Davis. He�s gonna hit and we�re gonna put this in our past real soon, because he�s going to start hitting. But, like I said the other day when I took Frank Francisco out of the game, once in a while it�s not about one guy it�s about all 25. He understood. I told him he�ll be in there (Wednesday). � We need him to get going.�

I'm not sure I agree, but it sounds like Ike will be in the lineup against Buehrle.

[Edgy MD]

That single gets Scott Hairston up to .200.

Watch closely, Ike.

[Chad ochoseis]

Denver's a great place to get off the interstate...Hairy's now up to .265, and Nickeas at .188 has at least switched on his turn signal.

[Edgy MD]

Scott Hairston's cycle hopefully put the 2011 interstate comfortably behind him. He's at .244 and presumably didn't use up all his awesomeness in one game.

A trip through Colorado and Houston may mean Hitsvile USA for some, but for Mike Nickeas, it's been Pukesville. A lousy time for a hitter to be out of commission, and his average sits at .188. A hit his next time up gets him up to an even .200.

Ike Davis has been really getting it together of late and stringing together two-hit games. He's up .185 after bottoming out somewhere gross (around .126, I think). Hits in his next two at-bats will deliver him from the endless asphalt.

Andres Torres, welcome back... to your nightmare. Somebody else has been doing your job and doing it well, while you have a batting average starting with a one. Six at-bats aren't much of a sample size, so get a knock your next time up, raise your average to a perfectly sing-songy .286, and we aren't having this conversation.

And hey, 2-7 is exactly the goal we're looking to reach for the currently 0-5 Jordany Valdespin. That's two hits, JV! Or else it's back to the JV!

Speaking of which, Zack Lutz headed back to Buffalo with a .125 average. One-for-one gets you out of the Club of Shame, Zack. Get back soon and straighten that mess out.

That's within reach for all y'all.

[Ceetar]

Closest Interstate to Citi Field is 495, and David Wright just fell off it, down to .494 OBP.

[Gwreck]

The Van Wyck is actually an interstate highway (I-678).

[Ceetar]

Gwreck wrote: The Van Wyck is actually an interstate highway (I-678).

well, he better get his .569 SLG up then!

[Edgy MD]

Ike Davis, under the helpful guidance of this thread, is up to .188 and a 2-4 day would get his head above water.

Andres Torres is at the line and anything 1-5 or better should keep him there. Go, Andres.

Jordany Valdespin needs some swings. I think maybe they should have started him at catcher today.

[Edgy MD]

Andres Torres looking to separate himself from the scofflaw list.

• Torres: .202
  
• Davis: .170
  
• Nickeas: .148
  
• Lutz: .125
  
• Valdespin: .100

[Edgy MD]

A great day for all you fellow interstate haters:

[*:3pcolunk]Nickeas goes 2-4 to raise his average to a still-terrifying .155.[/*:m:3pcolunk]
[*:3pcolunk]Davis goes 2-3 to make a move toward local traffic at .181.[/*:m:3pcolunk]
[*:3pcolunk]Bay goes 1-5, which, uninspiring though it may be, is still good enough to make the needle go up a little, to .183.[/*:m:3pcolunk]
[*:3pcolunk]Torres goes 3-5 to, hopefully, leave the itinerant life on the road behind forever, finishing at .221.[/*:m:3pcolunk][/list:o:3pcolunk]

[Benjamin Grimm]

Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton.

There's another I-88 which runs from Chicago to Moline, Illinois, but the one that runs to Binghamton seems more appropriate, because if Ike doesn't get off the Interstate, that's where he may end up.

[Benjamin Grimm]

And Jason Bay is currently on I-87, which runs from the Bronx to Canada. (The Quebec boarder in upstate New York.)

[Ceetar]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton. There's another I-88 which runs from Chicago to Moline, Illinois, but the one that runs to Binghamton seems more appropriate, because if Ike doesn't get off the Interstate, that's where he may end up.

One more hit could get him to .190. I90 goes to Buffalo.

edit I-190 actually is viewable from Buffalo's stadium.

[Edgy MD]

Bay at .187
Davis at.188
Valdespin at .190

We should take bets on which of htese poinies hits the tape first.

[Ceetar]

Edgy DC wrote: Bay at .187 Davis at.188 Valdespin at .190 We should take bets on which of these poinies hits the tape first.

1:2 Davis
5:1 Bay
10:1 Valdespin

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

Ceetar wrote: Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton. There's another I-88 which runs from Chicago to Moline, Illinois, but the one that runs to Binghamton seems more appropriate, because if Ike doesn't get off the Interstate, that's where he may end up. One more hit could get him to .190. I90 goes to Buffalo. edit I-190 actually is viewable from Buffalo's stadium.

I-90 also starts in Boston very close to Fenway Park and ends in Seattle in front of Safeco Field and passes right by Jacobs Field in Cleveland along the way. You could do a great ballpark tour on that highway.

Edited June 14, 2012 by Guest

[Edgy MD]

Ceetar wrote: Bay at .187 Davis at.188 Valdespin at .190 We should take bets on which of these poinies hits the tape first. 1:2 Davis 5:1 Bay 10:1 Valdespin

Fifty kwacha on Jordany.

[Ceetar]

Mets � Willets Point wrote: Ceetar wrote: Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton. There's another I-88 which runs from Chicago to Moline, Illinois, but the one that runs to Binghamton seems more appropriate, because if Ike doesn't get off the Interstate, that's where he may end up. One more hit could get him to .190. I90 goes to Buffalo. edit I-190 actually is viewable from Buffalo's stadium. I-90 also starts in Boston very close to Fenway Park and ends in Seattle in front of Safeco Field and passes right by Jacobs Field in Cleveland along the way. You could do a great ballpark tour on that highway.

Gets real close to the Chicago stadiums as well. we took it there.

[TransMonk]

I'm five minutes from I-90. I don't want to see any Mets anywhere near me.

[RealityChuck]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Ike Davis, with two hits today, is now at .188. That would be Interstate 88, which runs from Schenectady to Binghamton.

The least traveled highway on the entire interstate system. Even mapping programs don't know it exists. They can shut down the entire half of the highway for miles and shunt all traffic onto the other half without traffic slowing down in the slightest.

They named it after State Senator Warren Anderson in the hope that Anderson would use it and double the traffic.

Despite this, they use more salt on that road than any other highway in upstate NY.

[Edgy MD]

That had to be one of the more egregious "We're in power now, and we're gonna name some shit after our guys" maneuvers.

I hate the word "shunt."

[Ceetar]

I've taken i88. once. Was probably 10 years ago. Took it to Syracuse from Ithaca. Was the last time I was at a Hooters. Went to a movie in the Carousel mall. Was it the second Matrix movie? I'm drawing a blank now.

[Centerfield]

You're thinking of I-81.

[Ceetar]

Centerfield wrote: You're thinking of I-81.

you're right. damn. I could've sworn it said 81/88 for a long while, but that doesn't appear to be the case. Perhaps I'm delusional.