I've been captured

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

http://us.a2.yahoofs.com/users/43f9fcf6zc88ca5a5/26fc/__sr_/f676re2.jpg?ph47FAEB2n24P3ix

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

My captors are asking me to make the following request of you. Please pay attention to their modest requests, because that is the only way I will ever be released alive. They have identified me as a Mets fan and Red Sox fan, so they are asking me to relay the following information to the Cranepool forum and to SOSH. They are a serious and devout people, those who are holding me in an undisclosed location in the state of Florida, but they will certainly do me harm if their requests are ignored.

Please change the name of your forums immediately. Crane Pool, you are to be called �the Donnie �Mr. Baseball� Mattingly Forum� from now on, and SOSH you are to call yourselves the Bucky Dent Admiration Society. Please do what they say. They are not kidding around.

I am in good condition, they have only abused me to the extent that I have been forced to listen 24/7 to audiotapes of Phil Rizzuto�s Classic In-Game Broadcast reminiscences about his wife, but I don�t know when they will abandon hope, so please, please do what they say. Praise Steinbrenner, may he be merciful!

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

I can't help but think of O Henry's The Ransom of Red Chief.


(Have fun in Florida Bret)

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

http://us.a2.yahoofs.com/users/43f9fcf6zc88ca5a5/26fc/__sr_/7fa1re2.jpg?phgLGAEB4uapHDdG

[MFS62]

Bret, tell them you're Roberto Petagine.(as you are today)
They'll let you go.
Everybody lets him go.

Later

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

http://us.a2.yahoofs.com/users/43f9fcf6zc88ca5a5/26fc/__sr_/9cefre2.jpg?phwqGAEBckLlR.rX

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

I'm afraid you're on your own, Bret.

We don't negotiate with terrorists.

[Frayed Knot]

]but they will certainly do me harm if their requests are ignored

And this should concern us because ... ?




Actually, I might get the joke a bit better if either link were working for me.

(on edit: OK, the second two are now working)

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

http://us.a2.yahoofs.com/users/43f9fcf6zc88ca5a5/26fc/__sr_/d627re2.jpg?phwqGAEBwHERFR8Y

[Guest KC]

BS: >>>They are not kidding around. <<<<

One can only hope.

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

http://us.a2.yahoofs.com/users/43f9fcf6zc88ca5a5/26fc/__sr_/605dre2.jpg?phQpHAEBvzXCvzR.

My captors are patient, but their patience is not infinite. They are very upset that the offensive name of your website is still defiantly and oppressively named, and they are discussing a variety of humiliations for me if you do not accede to their modest requests immediately. Can you not see how the Cranepoool name, and the implied denegration of the Mattingly name, deeply offends their tender sensitivities?

They are promising humiliation for me, and thus for you, if the name isn't changed instantly. Glory be to Steinbrenner, from whom derives all that is holy.

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

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[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

They are saying that you are clinging to your so-called problems accessing the photographic proof of my capture so as to avoid dealing with the massive imperialist problem that is your stubborn refusal to change the name of your website to a name more in keeping with their moderate view of propriety. So they are changing the link to a photo in the hope of getting to change your unreasonable insistence on keeping your unholy and unclean name. Please do as they say.

[Guest SwitchHitter]

You know what? I don't care what they name it.

It's probably easier to keep the old name, though. And I'm all for easy.

[Guest KC]

Coupla things ...

a) can you take a picture of Arod's merchandising tent?
if you see George's Rolls around, hock a looey on it for me please.
c) get some rest and stay out of the sun.

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

The Ransom of Red Chief

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

My captors now warn you that without an immediate name-change I will be paraded into the streets naked, save for this dark-blue baseball cap and this newspaper.

No one wants to see me naked in the streets, I promise you. Your children will thank you and bless you for sparing them this sight. KC has already noted that he wishes to spare me sunburn, for which I thank him and bless him.

I know you are compassionate people, willing to overlook my transgressions of the past, and make this small gesture in the direction of my captors, who are also a great and compassionate people. It is only through their graciousness in overlooking the deadline for complying with their request, which is now past, that I am still able to voice this desperate plea.

[patchyfogg]

I'm not a member of the Joint Terrorism Task Force, but something tells me that he's at Legends Field in Tampa. And, yet no one seem's to be looking for him. Strange, I tell you.

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

Have you people no heart? They have torn my clothes from me, and are poking me with sharp sticks, prodding me into the streets of Tampa looking like this:



Next they will take the newspaper away, and the next picture I post will make you want to wash your eyeballs with bleach. Act now, before it is too late!!

[nymr83]

Yancy Street Gang wrote: I'm afraid you're on your own, Bret. We don't negotiate with terrorists.

We also don't do black-ops rescue missions anymore, Mr Met's head has outgrown the suit.

this thread might as well read "look at me! look at me! i'm in Florida and you're not!"

[nymr83]

ok bret, i've found someone willing to risk yankee-cooties and enter legends field to get you out, lets hope nobody sees through his disguise...



(any excuse to use the picture)

[MFS62]

The more of that body you expose, the less inclined we are to want you back.

Later

[Theoldmole]

Wait a second...this is getting serious. Bret naked could do terrible things to Homeland Security.

Is there a possible compromise? Can we call ourselves The Last Train to Horace Clarkeville?

[Willets Point]

Jill Carroll is not amused.

[Frayed Knot]

So let me get this straight, if we refuse to change the name of this site your captors will do horrible and possibly painful things to you?

Hmmmm ... Yo Mods, is there some way we can make our current logo bigger?

[Guest KC]

OM: >>>Can we call ourselves The Last Train to Horace Clarkeville?<<<

That's weird. I actually spoke of Horace Clark to a co-worker yesterday.

[Zvon]

I fear Yancy is right.
We dont negotiate.
We also certainly dont want to see you in the raw.
Bret, Id give you the shirt off my back if it would help.

Anything to cover you up.

I keep hitting that link and getting this:


(this is hilarious, esp those pics.)