A-P "So You Think You're A Sportswriter" Thread

[MFS62]

I know. But I felt his comment about Delgado was quite complimentary.

Later

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

="Filip Bondy"]Delgado is becoming Reggie Jackson before our eyes, only without all the theater.

I was thinking that he's doing what Carlos Beltran did in 2004.


What is a bollox, anyway?

[Guest cooby]

She's that girl that was in A Time To Kill

[metirish]

] What is a bollox, anyway?

In scientific terms a bollox is the sack that holds a bulls nuts, bollox is slang in Ireland for a prick although it can have many uses.

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

So it means "scrotum"?

I've seen dried bull scrotums (scrota) for sale in gift shops in Texas. I think they're used as change pouches or something.

[MFS62]

Texans must carry around a lot of loose change.

Later

[Guest Edgy DC]

Maddening. My thoughts in blue. Royal blue.

Thu, October 19, 2006
Mets drop the balll
Matt Dillon throwing out the first pitch? So much for paying tribute to 1986
By BOB ELLIOTT, TORONTO SUN

NEW YORK -- Shame on the New York Mets.

Huh? I'm feeling pretty good about them today.

Of all the people they could have asked to throw out the ceremonial first pitch they could have done better than who they had last night before Game 6 of the National League Championship Series.

I try not to think too much about that. You know, big game and all. I guess. But they could've done worse.

They could have invited maybe Tom Seaver, Bret Saberhagen, David Cone or Dwight Gooden. The problem with these beleaguered Mets, if anyone with a live arm showed up general manager Omar Minaya would tell them to get dressed and head to the bullpen.

(1) The Mets bullpen is fine. It's the starting staff that is shorthanded. (2) The "problem" with Dwight Gooden, as every baseball writer should know, is that he's, um, unavailable. (3) Bret Saberhagen fits nobody's definition of fan favorite.

It is tough to compete in the post-season with a one-man rotation, especially when that one man, Tom Glavine, suffered the loss in Game 5.

Did you file this before Vacationland made the Cardinals look silly? Because he's making you look silly.

How about a position player who the fans loved, like Rusty Staub, Lee Mazzilli, Cleon Jones or Tommy Agee.

Lee Mazzilli's tent is currently in the Yankee camp. Tommy Agee is really unavialable.

Instead, the Mets invited Matt Dillon to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.

Whatever

We inquired whether Marshall Dillon would be riding in on his horse from the left- or right-field bullpen, but were told that it wasn't the Matt Dillon from the TV show Gunsmoke.

You sound kind of clueless.

This Dillon is an Academy Award nominee -- not even an Oscar winner and it was in the best supporting actor category -- for his 2005 role as Sgt. Jack Ryan in the movie Crash.

I'm no fan, but I imagine a recent Academy Award nominee isn't a bad thing to be, and in fact is something 99.9% of actors would love to be.

Think of the possibilities with whom the Mets could picked. Think back 20 years to another Game 6, when the Mets played host to the Boston Red Sox in the 1986 World Series at Shea Stadium.

(Blah, blah, summary of game six, blah. blah.)

What would have been wrong with Wilson, Knight, Carter or Mitchell throwing out the first ball last night.

Nothing. We've had such tributes quite recently. Maybe again tin the World Series next week, God willing.

Yeah, and Gedman could have caught it.

Huh?

Only someone mean would have suggested Buckner ... or maybe, Matt Dillon.

Are you quite well?

[metirish]

Incredible.........

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

This guy's lucky that his newspaper is paying for him to go to New York to cover the series.

And this is the best he can do?

I was going to suggest sending the writer an e-mail, but maybe you should write to his paper instead, if you're inclined to do so.

Bret Saberhagen?

Tommie Agee???

[Guest Edgy DC]

He also spells "holy crap" as "wholly crap" in the part I cut.

The Toronto Sun is a real paper, right? I just wasted ten minutes writing to them.

[MFS62]

A Toronto writer? I'm surprised he didn't suggest that Joe Carter throw out the first pitch.
That was awful.

Later

[HahnSolo]

Saberhagen????

And, uh, Bob, you do realize that Doc Gooden is unavailable, right?


His overall point is probably right, though. Seinfeld and Broderick were there. I'd send them out before Matt Dillon.

[Guest Edgy DC]

I negelect to mention that in my letter. His thesis had credibility. His argument did not.

[MFS62]

They were going to pick Julia Stiles. But they remembered that she probably throws like a girl.
So did John Stewart.

Later

[metirish]

Dillon seemed to enjoy it....

[HahnSolo]

Darling is throwing out the first pitch tonight. This concerns me. He and Game 7s don't necessarily agree with each other.

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

They won the last one he started, didn't they?

[MFS62]

Edgy DC wrote: I negelect to mention that in my letter. His thesis had credibility. His argument did not.

Forget it.
Your letter was probably better than the article, even without what you omitted.

Later

[Willets Point]

I was going to rave on how good he was in Heaven Help Us but that's Kevin Dillon.

[HahnSolo]

]They won the last one he started, didn't they?

Nope. See Los Angeles, 1988.

[RealityChuck]

I've been a fan of Dillon since [url=http://www.sff.net/people/rothman/GBF/bodyguard.htm]My Bodyguard[/url]. He's a fine actor, and obviously smart enough to be a Mets fan.

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

HahnSolo wrote: ]They won the last one he started, didn't they? Nope. See Los Angeles, 1988.

Well, the one in 1986 was at Shea.

[HahnSolo]

Yes, they won, but Ronnie would not have gotten many Schaeffer points for his performance in either of his Game 7s.

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

Ronnie deserves the honor, especially now that he's back in the Mets family.

Anybody with 1986 cooties is welcome at Shea tonight. Since I was at World Series Game 6 I have plenty of 1986 cooties. I wish I could be there to help in tonight's effort.

[Guest Iubitul]

Sid should come out and throw a mid-game pitch before the fourth inning.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Matt Dillon in My Bodyguard: played a school bully named Moody.

Kevin Dillon in Heaven Help Us: played a school bully named Rooney.

Despite this lack of inspiration, I think both won their year in my Eighties Teen Movie Hall of Fame.

[Willets Point]

I didn't know they were brothers. Actually, I didn't realize they were two different people.

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

Is Kevin Dillon Johnny Drama in Entourage?

I get Matt Dillon and Matt Damon mixed up.

[Guest OlerudOwned]

Sick of the endless, tireless, mindless Ecksten-fellatio?

So is FJM. And it's pretty damn funny. Just poke around the recent stuff, there's some gems. I'd say that the highlights are [url=http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/2006/10/hey-everyone-another-eckstein-article.html]Ken Tremendous' own Eckstein article[/url], which included gems like:

]So when David Eckstein -- 2-foot-1 in bare feet, topping the scales at barely 40 pounds soaking wet, and appearing in the game only thanks to an MLB Outreach Program to give malnourished young mole people a chance to fulfill a dream of playing in the big leagues � stands in against 8-foot-11 Joel Zumaya, who can throw a weighted leather exercise ball 200 MPH with his penis, you might think Zumaya has the advantage.

.

Also, there was a [url=http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/2006/10/playtime.html]play[/url].

[stevejrogers]

Apparantly Lyle Spencer (didn't he use to be a hack with the Daily News? Or was it the Post?) is allready picking the Mets in 2007
[url]http://mlb.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20061028&content_id=1726610&vkey=ps2006news&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb[/url]

] Who's next in '07? Maybe the Mets Mets would be eighth different Series champion in eight years By Lyle Spencer / MLB.com Seven new, different World Series champions in a dizzying, dazzling row. That's what the bold, new century has brought us, starting with the dynastic New York Yankees, finishing off their trifecta in 2000, and running right on through these remarkable St. Louis Cardinals, stirring memories of Dizzy, Daffy and the Gashouse Gang. Before we proceed, let us not overlook the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks, the 2002 Anaheim Angels, the 2003 Florida Marlins, the 2004 Boston Red Sox and the 2005 Chicago White Sox -- all wonderful in their moment, all golden under the light of the silvery October moon. So -- cue the Keith Moon drumroll please -- Who's Next? Ladies and gentlemen, here they are, your 2007 World Series champions ... The New York Mets. Led by 2007 National League MVP Jose Reyes, Comeback Player of the Year Pedro Martinez and Manager of the Year Willie Randolph, they take that final stride and wash away the bitter disappointment of '06. Let's make that eight new champs in a dizzying, dazzling, Amazin' roll. And why the heck not? If you believe in truth, justice and the American way, baseball style, you have to acknowledge the Mets' many assets -- and their appealing prospects of conquering the World Series. Those are Minnesota's Twins, with all that dashing young talent and superlative pitching, we see across the field soberly observing the Mets' final October celebration after Game 7 at Shea Stadium, New York having claimed home-field advantage courtesy of Trevor Hoffman's save for the National League in the 2007 All-Star Game at San Francisco. Yes, the Mets. It's simply their time. This is a team that had everything but a closing act in '06, waking up those 20-year-old echoes of the '86 marauders with a fantastic season that had everyone remembering young Doc and Darryl, The Kid and Mex, Davey and Nails. Sure, it ended with the great Carlos Beltran, of all people, taking a third strike from the latest Chosen One, Adam Wainwright, leaving Shea Stadium numb and dumbfounded. But right up until their untimely demise, the Amazin's truly were amazin', start to finish. Consider: Beltran, Reyes, Carlos Delgado and David Wright gave leather-lunged New Yawk fans as many legitimate MVP candidates to cheer as the rest of the league combined. They'll all be back, smarter, stronger, even tougher. That taste, getting so close, will drive them through the long, hot summer. Consider: The Mets hit 200 home runs, stole 146 bases, had the league's best bullpen and came within a timely hit or two of winning the pennant with John Maine and Oliver Perez -- no Pedro, no El Duque -- pitching Games 6 and 7 of a great National League Championship Series against Chris Carpenter and Jeff Suppan. And, finally consider: Randolph is an emerging players' manager in the image of Joe Torre, a leader who will help aggressive GM Omar Minaya draw free-agent pieces necessary to improve on 97 regular-season wins and six more in the postseason for 103. That's a number matched only by the Cards' Motor City victims, nine more than the champions manufactured. There will be shrieks and howls of protests from precincts across the land when this decidedly unpopular and singular vote for the Mets is posted, but that's to be expected -- and embraced. Bring it on! We live for engagement. We hear you in The Bronx, jeering our audacity in putting the Mets ahead of the imperial Yanks. Sure, the Bombers will be a force; they're always a force. But the force of nature in '07 will be found in that neighboring borough of Queens. We hear you in New England, reminding us that the Sox will be back, curse-free, driven by Big Papi to show that 2004 was for real. We hear you in the South, where Atlanta still stands proud and brave -- OK, maybe not as proud and brave as before -- and Florida has a habit of rising unexpectedly from the ashes. Oh, sure, we hear you in Ryan Howard country out in Philly, where you're getting pumped to boo Santa, and north of the border in Toronto, where you're civil but firmly remindful of glories past. We hear you in Minnesota, Detroit, Cleveland and on the South Side of Chicago, ranting about how the AL Central still gets no respect. On the contrary, that division of divisions gets immense respect -- just not another World Series crown just yet. (The Tigers will be back, real soon, and the Twins are also here to stay). We hear you in St. Louis -- go ahead, let us have it. We know it's unwise to discount any team with David Eckstein, a modern-day Scooter, at shortstop in all his fiery glory. Hey, no offense, Redbird lovers, but recent history is compelling in its argument against repeats and in the sustaining power of the brand of magic that produces a championship without thunder from Albert Pujols. And, finally, we hear you out West, where Oakland, both Los Angeleses -- including the one in Anaheim -- and San Diego are potentially loaded. The pitching-rich Padres would be especially hard to ignore if they hired Dusty Baker, so perfect for the job, to replace Bruce Bochy. But that, alas, doesn't appear likely. So, yes, by all means, shout it from the rooftops. Your team, even those we foolishly neglected here, has a legitimate shot to be lucky No. 8 in to shine in the new century. Just make a few home improvements, add a shot of Wainwright-like magic, mix in some Eckstein heart and soul, and -- voila -- you're right there. In the meantime, go ahead and vent. We still like the Mets to take it the distance in '07. Lyle Spencer is a reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs.