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Class Action Park (2020)  

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  1. 1. Class Action Park (2020)

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Posted


A charismatic, self-promoting, 1980s, Trumpian criminal lowlife opens a New Jersey theme park designed by amateurs, overseen by a staff of wasted teenagers, regulated by nobody, and dangerous as fuck. Anarchy reins as the park becomes a right of passage for tri-state-area youth and young adults, and an early death for more than a few.



Now streaming at HBOMax.



[fimg=600]https://www.thepitchkc.com/content/uploads/2020/08/Class-Action-Park-Poster.jpg[/fimg]


Posted


As a kid who summered in Jersey in the late eighties AND had plenty of older cousins/older cousins' friends with cars and a chaotic-neutral alignment... this felt made especially for me. Watching with a wife who also grew up making the occasional Traction Park run AND a child with a frightening appetite for lurid war stories tripled the fun. The only real criticism I have is that it doesn't quite nail the landing, in terms of squaring the nostalgic hijinks of the first half with the-- spoiler alert?-- deaths and tragedy of the latter one.



I could watch Chris Gerherd spin Tales of Dirtbag Jersey for hours, I think.


Posted


I went there once probably in 84. I'm not much for heights and "amusement" in the best of times, can remember being terrified just climbing the wooden steps of the big waterslide that was basically a straight drop and it occurring to me then how easy it would be to die on it.


Posted


I would have liked more expert witnesses: actual ride designers, engineers, regulation professionals, psychologists, sociologists.



I mean, what is it in us that makes us say, "This looks stupid, but here I go"? What was it in how they projected their images that made the whole scene whiter than a Nugent concert, despite being in New Jersey and aimed at folks of modest means. The footage rolls and rolls and you see almost no parents and no persons of color. Right next door at Great Adventure there were plenty of both despite being a higher ticket.



I mean, a trip to AP almost was a Nugent concert — rusted cars full of young men out for trouble, often with the more reticent guys suddenly thrown in with the bad boys for a road trip, pregaming with cheap beer and ditch weed in the parking lot, hooting at girls with big hair, having no expectation of any authority stopping you from being an ass, and coming home with myths to tell your jealous friends.



In the end, a young woman reflects on her AP times, saying something along the lines of, "Yeah, you could get hurt, and you'd be scared, but then you'd say to yourself, if you're afraid to do it, then get the fuck out of Jersey."



And I'm thinking, "Capital idea, that! Yes, let's all get the fuck out of Jersey."


Posted


Vernon NJ i Sussex county. 96.56% white by the 2010 census.



I did go way back. I remember a good amount of bagged beer around.



The Grey Kelly footage in the video made me cringe.


  • 3 weeks later...
Posted


Went there drunk with friends once, and only once. Skinned my elbow on something but was otherwise undamaged. But I swore I'd never go again. There was a lot of "Whatsamatter, you CHICKEN????' going on.


Posted


Lefty Specialist wrote:

Went there drunk with friends once, and only once. Skinned my elbow on something but was otherwise undamaged. But I swore I'd never go again. There was a lot of "Whatsamatter, you CHICKEN????' going on.


Yup. my experience precisely, only I wasn;t drunk.


Posted


went a few times in middle- and high school. not sure if i went in college. always was curious about the loop-de-loop tube. i remember going on the high speed slides and feeling like i was one bad hydroplane away from skipping over the edge.



rode the alpine slide a few times. the last time i rode it, i hit an expansion joint in the concrete, bounced somewhat off my cart, scraped up my elbow, knee, hip, and shoulder. nothing terrible, but i can at least say that action park scarred me for life, a few square-inches worth.



one of the last times i went, we went with a friend who was not the strongest swimmer. they did the cannonball slide - the one where you drop out of the tube into a pool several feet below. he had to be pulled out by a lifeguard. he was ok, but did get to have "CFS" written on his arm. we reasoned then and there that it meant "Can't Fucking Swim"



one day, i'll watch the HBOmax movie about it.


Posted



one of the last times i went, we went with a friend who was not the strongest swimmer. they did the cannonball slide - the one where you drop out of the tube into a pool several feet below. he had to be pulled out by a lifeguard. he was ok, but did get to have "CFS" written on his arm. we reasoned then and there that it meant "Can't Fucking Swim"



one day, i'll watch the HBOmax movie about it.


SPOILER: That's exactly what it meant.


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