Hey, Nineteen: Ryder Ryan

[Edgy MD]

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I'm Ryder Ryan. Not the other way around. I received an invitation to Spring Training from the Mets this year. "Big whoop," you might think, except for the fact that, you know, you didn't receive an invitation anywhere. Yeah, I only got two innings, giving a up a single run on a solo homer, but I think I rocked it.



Which is neither here nor there if I can't pitch well now that I've been assigned to Bingo. But I'm rocking a 5.68 AA ERA so far this year, and some folks might be kind of worried about my career dying on the vine. But it's early. I was brought in as payment when the Mets treaded Jay Bruce. The first time. Bruce went to Cleveland, came back on a new contract and then got traded again. I, in the meantime, haven't gotten past AA.



You can be a smartass about that, but I know I'm going to hit the big time. And there are two reasons why.



The first is nomenclature. I was one of the first picks for the Mets Organizational All-Porny-Sounding Name Team*. There are porny names, and then there's my porny name, and you can't keep a name this porny down. Did you know I have a baseball-playing brother named https://www.linkedin.com/in/sean-ryan-8a147442/River Ryan? These are not traditional Irish names. Unless you're talking Irish porn.



The second is, quite simply, pedigree. Did you know https://www.linkedin.com/in/sean-ryan-8a147442/my father played professional ball? Well, he did! He was drafted by the Phils and made it all the way as high as AAA. A righthanded, switch-hitting firstbaseman who also played some third.



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Now you may be all, "Big deal, a lot of people play AAA."



And I answer, "A lot, relative to what, asshole? How much AAA baseball did your father play?"



But wait, 'cuz the bloodlines don't end there. There's my https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Ryan_%28baseball%29Uncle Jason. Jason was drafted by the Cubs, and ultimately, did pitch in the majors. Look at this goth-assed card:



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That's eleven seasons in the minors and two in the majors. I bet you don't have an Uncle Jason. And if you do, he's not as cool as mine.



Uncle, shmuncle? Did I hear you say "Uncle shmuncle"?



First of all, get stuffed. Second of all, I got me a great uncle too. https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/m/madjeed01.shtmlEd Madjeski. He was born in

. Third of all, back in the depression, when other folks were living in Hooverville or working in the CCC or the WPA or trying to farm a pile of dust, why, old https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/m/madjeed01.shtmlUncle Ed was playing big league ball just like Uncle Jason. Except better. Uncle Edgy was a catcher with the Phils, the White Sox, and the Giants. That's right, Uncle Ed played with Mel Ott, while your great uncle just played with himself. He was catching Carl Hubbell while your great uncle was catching diptheria!



(That's not really the sick burn I meant it to be, but you get the idea.)



https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/V~8AAOSwH1NZhRLV/s-l300.jpg>



And I know, you're all, "Yeah, you've got these ballplayers in your family. Some better than others. None Hall-of-Famers, but it's a legacy, but it's not like that makes you cool by association!"



Maybe not, my cynical interlocutor, but you know who makes me cool as shit by association? My grandfather. Ol' Gramps Tim Ryan was a songwriter who

with and for Hank Williams, Jr. (after the accident, but before Bocephus had drifted into self-parody), and toured with The Marshall Tucker Band.



[YOUTUBE]wqWXqkUvuZQ[/YOUTUBE]



Listen, man, some may think that a super-porny name and almost-famous relations isn't all that. I'm saying there's more under the hood here than those people see. But what do you see? In 2019, what, indeed, to you see for me?



* Pitchers

Jose Butto, Columbia

Willie Taveras, Columbia

Zachary Hammer, GCL

Jurgen Jiminez, DSL 1

Jimmy Duff, Brooklyn



Pen

Eric Hanhold, Syracuse

Matt Blackham, Binghamton

Ryder Ryan, Binghamton (me)

Adonis Uceta, Binghamton

Trey Cobb, St. Lucie

Mitch Hickey, Kingsport

Jefferson Escorcha, DSL 1



Catchers

Ali "Dirty" Sanchez, Binghamton

Wilfred Astudillo, Kinsport



Infielders

Dilson Herrera, Syracuse

Manny Rodriguez, St. Lucie

Will Toffey, Bingo

Chase Chambers, Columbia

L.A. Woodard, Brooklyn

Angel Manzanarez, Brooklyn



Outfielders

Tim Tebow Syracuse

Dario Piazzano, Binghamton

Hansel Moreno, St. Lucie

Zach Rheams, Columbia

Kenedy Corona, GCL

[Lefty Specialist]

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[Johnny Lunchbucket]

These are getting too good to ruin with comments.



I have no idea how Ryder Ryan will do, but hopefully we'll see him and Jefferson Escorcha in the NYM bullpen soon.

[seawolf17]

You're putting so much work into these, I feel terrible that he's going to get released after sporting an ERA over 6 in AA this season.