Fman99

Bullpen: Jeeps, everybody they got out there is good, so get to the starters. Tyler Clippard was saving 32 games for them last year and now he's number four in the pen a mere year later. Yankee $$-lover Rafael Soriano already has closed out 15 wins. Nationals with Metropolitan Style: The Nats having given up on eternally rehabbing former Met prospect Jesus Flores, no former Flushingers haunt the Nats roster. Manager Davey Johnson is a Met Hall of Famer, which is no small thingaling. Director of pro-scouting Bill Singer used to be the Mets' Director of racial harassment. Pre-game and post-game action is brought you cardiac health advocate and Mets post-season hero Ray Knight. Mets with Nationalist Leanings: Rick Ankiel spent a year of low-average/decent sock years in Washington during his decline. Marlon Byrd was an original Nat back in 2005-2006. LaTroy Hawkins has never been a National. Before there were Nationals, there were Expos, a team Dan Warthen called home in the mid-to-late 70s. Looks like the current Nats 1B first base coach is former Met Tony Tarasco.

Mets � Willets Point wrote: Is that pronounced "Anne Vee" or "Anne Five?" She's mine, back off! I give her more input, if you know what I mean.

Edgy MD wrote: And to think, all the time, Fman was also Joe. That guy gives fun-loving trolls like me a bad rap. I'm no racist. And my semen output is within a standard deviation of the norm (if I were a racing thoroughbred).

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

How many of those names are made up? I am picking Clem Cadiddlehopper as the next LOOGY.

Highly entertaining. Well done MGIM.

Base hit for Omar Quesadilla.

How do we play so poor against these bush league assholes, anyway?

Well darnit. C'mon, ground ball, make yourself known.

NICE RBI single by Buck-o

Good stuff so far, enjoying the quiet crowds. Due to the WPIX-iness of tonight's broadcast I am forced to follow along via the YES network.

Edgy MD wrote: The Mets play good ball, all these ancillary PR issues likely take care of themselves. They play bad ball (as they have most of the season), all these non-issues get inflated. And there are no satisfactory choices. This is it. Right here. Reporters are bored with writing "hey, the Mets suck again," so they change angles to "hey, the Mets front office is clueless again." It's nice to have pistachio ice cream if you've been eating vanilla for six weeks.

Should be Gee. Will end up being Hefner, at least at first.

Edgy MD wrote: But I also have to say, much as I may snicker at Fman's deveiancy, the fact that she's a very rare woman doing what she does, and she's getting hammered with sexual innuendo, makes me more than a little uncomfortable. In my own defense, I did a KTE a few years ago that was a mock conversation on "Loudmouths" between Adam Schein and Chris Carlin and it had an equal amount of crass sexual humor. I don't discriminate. As far as I'm concerned, if you're on TV or the radio talking about baseball, and you're not Cohen, Rose, Ron, Keith or Josh, you're just another paid Moe with a (cartoonishly awesome) dick in your mouth.

Edgy MD wrote: What's up with the Yankees since the last time we saw them? I think we need a new KTE. You know, to catch up. I appreciate that vote, sorry to say, I have the shingles and am feeling pretty whipped today. I added one last snippet there but it's about all I got.

These updates are great, gang! Almost as great as the time that Tom Tresh spoon fed me butterscotch pudding while dressed like an extra from the movie Caligula. That got my giant granny panties wetter than the corpse in Mo's pool! THE CLITORIS IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS GONE! OH MY! AN ORGASM FOR THE PHANTASM! A GUSH FOR THE LUSH! YOWSERS!

Just watched it in real time on the SNY encore. Good stuff.

Missed most of this game as we were soaking up some AAA ball here in the 'Cuse. Tuned in on XM for Duda's K and Parnell's finish on the drive home. LGM!

IKE

John Buck, thanks for showing up. Tie game.

I know you've been drinking all day, Suze -- but lets go over some of my new home run calls and talk about how great these Damn Yankees are playing. Hard to believe a team made up of more spare parts than Joan Rivers could be playing this well, don't you agree? Thanks, John, this team has been a fun surprise this year, much like the time Joe Pepitone ate scrambled eggs off of my naked back that time. (shudders audibly) Well, we've had some respectable enough numbers from the catchers spot, between Francisco Cervelli (.269 BA, 3 HR, 8 RBIs) and Chris Stewart (.274, 3, 7). I was thinking of this call for Cervelli... "And it's Cervelli! Turns my sphincter to jelly!" Pretty good, John. That Chris Stewart sure is dreamy. I'd eat the onions out of his colostomy bag, if you know what I mean. I don't know what you mean, you twisted old deviant. But I can see you're getting all worked up, Suzie - so let's keep this thing moving. Teix is rehabbing and could be back this week, but Lyle Overbay has done enough to get by in the short term (.255, 8, 28). That's three seasons' worth of Ike Davis, for those of you counting at home. And my home run call for him is just a hoot! Here's what I've got. IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS... GONE! LYLE HITS IT OVER(BAY) THE FENCE! OK, that one sucks. Sorry. That's all right, John. I'd get Sparky with Lyle, if you know what I mean. And what I mean is, I'd let him pee on my furniture! Jeez Louise! On to the keystone, no doubt Robbie Cano (.286, 13, 34) is having another ridiculous season. My new call is "IT IS GONE! I 'CAN KNOW' THAT THAT ONE WENT PRETTY FAR!" Yeah! That's just great, John. I'll remember to tell that one to Hank the next time I'm at the Steinbrenner mansion, dressed up as a murdered hooker. At short we've missed the Captain, obviously, and Eduardo Nunez (.200, 0, 4) has been just a big pile of suck. And this beauty... IT IS GONE! BALL HIT FAR-DO BY EDUARDO! (Vomits into shoe) Next up, at third, some revolving door action of Kevin Youkilis (.266, 2, 7), David Adams (.306, 2 ,3) and Jayson Nix (.230, 1, 11). I think this one has lots of promise: IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR... IT IS GONE! HOMERS FROM NIX, MORE FUN THAN SUCKING (Wipes vomit onto Sterling's tie) I like it, John! Reminds me of the time that Don Mattingly spanked my ass at the Best Western in Yonkers. The outfield and DH slots have been the real winners in this lineup -- the reanimated corpses of Vernon Wells (.270, 10, 24) Ichiro (.243, 2, 8) and Travis Hafner (.269, 8, 25) and the return of Brett Gardner (.260, 4, 19) have helped carry the offense this year. My newest home run call for Hafner is pretty slick... IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS.... GONE! THAT WAS A SHOT AND A HALF(NER)! Get some self respect, would you please, John? This is more embarrassing than the time Billy Martin made me reenact Han and Leia scenes with him in his RV that time. On to this week's pitching matchups against the Mets, you dragoness. We've got Jon Niese on Monday against our own Phil Hughes (2-3 WL, 5.51 ERA). Not much to see there. Better matchup Tuesday, Harvey vs Hiroki Kuroda (6-3, 2.67), then Jeremy Hefner vs David Phelps (3-2, 3.96) on Wednesday and Gee versus Vidal Nuno (1-1, 1.93) on Thursday. Since only the first two games have pitchers hitting, I did come up with a good call for Kuroda in case he happens to go yard. IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS.... GONE! HIT THE HIRODI, JACK! (leans inconspicuously to one side of her chair and rips a gasser) Good stuff, John! Better than the time that Scott Brosius had my hymen surgically restored just so he could go to town on that thing. And, of course, there's our bullpen, solid as always. Set up from David Robertson, Boone Logan, Shawn Kelly, and a bunch of other sluts. Anchored by the man himself, back from his vacation of shagging flies in a full leg cast. OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS! OF ALL THE DRAMATIC THINGS! MARIANO IS COMING OUT OF GEORGE'S BOOTH AND HE'S PUTTING ME IN A GARBAGE BAG AND TAKING ME TO HIS POOL! LOOK AT POSADA, HE KNEW! MARIANO IS BACK! WAIT, I CAN'T SWIM OR BREATHE IN YOUR POOL IN THIS BAG! AAAHAHAHAHA (garble gurgle gurgle) Thank God that's over.