2016 Tabloid Cover Derby Round 3.1.2

[Benjamin Grimm]

Winner of Round 1.1.5
Winner of Round 2.1.1
YA GOTTA RELIEVE!
New York Daily News, March 30, 2016.
His "bladder woes" behind him, Matt Harvey looks forward to opening the season.



Tiebreaker winner of Round 1.1.7
Winner of Round 2.1.4
HAMMERS & THOR
Newsday, April 19, 2016.
Four Mets homers help Noah Syndergaard to a 5-2 win in Philadelphia.

[Guest d'Kong76]

Went with Thor, have a feeling the urinal cover is going a long way though...

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Medical scares aren't funny and I think the tabs crossed the line on those, so I went with Thor!

[Benjamin Grimm]

d'Kong76 wrote: Went with Thor, have a feeling the urinal cover is going a long way though...

I would have thought so too, but it's currently behind 6 to 3!

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Went with Thor, have a feeling the urinal cover is going a long way though...

Cmon, voters, unzip your uprightness, whip out your sense of humor, and let the appreciation flow for a cover that beats the shit out Hammers & Thor!

1. I don't even "get" Hammers & Thor. Is it a play on words or just two words to describe the same thing? Or do I think: "Hammers are bats and Thor is Thor" And Thor has a bat! I mean, a hammer!" WTF? This headline does not work.

2. Terrible inset picture of Wright looks like it doesn't belong

3. Syndergaard doesn;t even look like Syndergaard in that shot, almost like they had a stunt stand-in. Plus the cover is grainy. Plus it uses Newsday's nontraditional white headline font that isn't quite tabloid-enough for my tastes. Ironic for all the "Hammers" imagery this cover is about as gentle as a pillow.

YA GOTTA RELIEVE's merits have been argued before but quickly:

1- Funny, appropriate and Met-related pun headline. Just on that combo alone it should win 95% of the matchups.
2- Yes the joke is "on" Harvey, but even as we laugh "at" him it shows how willing he (and we) are to get behind him and pee all over the Royals. This cover is genius because it rebukes and supports in the same image! An that's appropriate because as we all know Harvey begs for tabloid attention when it suits him, and nothing would make him (and us) feel better than to piss on the Royals. Where is the deep meaning in "Hammers & Thor"? Nowhere, man. It's just a damn piece of newsprint.
3- The Harvey picture is just funny. The setting, the fist-pumping, the Harveyesque posturing -- Perfect.
4- The Subhead is packed with THREE puns: Three! Free of Charge! The subheads alone ought to be enough to recommend this cover.

Finally anyone arguing that if you had to catch a train, and had $1, and these 2 papers were lying next to one another at the Newsstand you'd buy Hammers & Thor and leave Harvey sitting there.... Well, I don;t believe that would happen.

Stop making mistakes when you vote, America. Step up and do the right thing.

[Guest cooby]

I think he looks more like DeGrom, and I also don't "get" the headline.

Widey reading my mind

[Edgy MD]

I appreciate the commitment SCL is showing to his argument. But I feel like a Yankee fan putting an enemy logo in a urinal.

[Benjamin Grimm]

I'm totally on team YA GOTTA RELIEVE.

Oddly enough, in the last round, HAMMERS & THOR also defeated a Matt Harvey urine-related cover. I'm also surprised that it won that tiebreaker against the Steven Matz cover, which I thought was much better.

Newsday has had some nice covers, but this isn't one of them.

[Guest d'Kong76]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: 2 papers were lying next to one another at the Newsstand you'd buy Hammers & Thor and leave Harvey sitting there....

Standing there! If it got out that he sits the internet might break...

[Lefty Specialist]

Ugly Thor face. I went to the mens room instead.

[Benjamin Grimm]

This one is shaping up to be a surprising upset.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

11 votes for that uninspiring Newsday cover without a word of support for it beyond a taste objection to its opponent.

[Benjamin Grimm]

I'm as perplexed as you are. I think Newsday has produced some beautiful covers, but this isn't one of them.

[MFS62]

Too bad.
I was hoping the Daily News cover would be flushed with success by now.

Later

[Centerfield]

I went with Hammers. The cover is nothing special, nor is it terrible. But it celebrates a four HR win over the Phillies. And it's an action shot.

I'm on record saying that making light of the medical condition is in poor taste. But aside from that:
1. The Harvey cover is just spring training filler. There is no game, no great moment. Hammers celebrates a win.
2. I generally dislike any covers that are doctored/photoshopped
3. I agree with Edgy that pissing on the KC logo goes to a level that I'd rather avoid
4. We ended up losing that game
5. The pissing puns are childish. I do like "Ya Gotta Relieve!" but would love it in the context of a bullpen guy who comes in and bails the Mets out of a bases loaded jam.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Where are we as a country when we can overlook voting for a disabled-person mocking president but not a tabloid cover a joke about Matt Harvey's (benign) pee issues.

I swear I'm sick at heart.

[Guest sharpie]

Ya Gotta Relieve is the clear winner here. I can't understand how voting works anywhere anymore.

[Benjamin Grimm]

I agree, except that it's losing!

[Guest d'Kong76]

I often suffer from 'my one vote doesn't really count syndrome' but if
the un-voted can muster up a couple more votes for Relieve I could en-
vision myself changing my vote* for the Royals' urinal target cover.

* -- provided that's allowed under the rules of Tabloid Cover Derby®

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

1. The Harvey cover is just spring training filler. There is no game, no great moment. Hammers celebrates a win.

--Well this is a contest between 2 newspaper back covers, not necessarily the news inside of them. If you want to vote for what result you liked best you can go make that poll.

2. I generally dislike any covers that are doctored/photoshopped

Fair point

3. I agree with Edgy that pissing on the KC logo goes to a level that I'd rather avoid

But without the KC logo it's not nearly as effective a statement, and would be even crueler since all it would do then is make fun of Harvey and not support him. Surely you guys aren't saying "Without the Royals logo this cover is great!"

4. We ended up losing that game

Again, not relevant. When you saw this cover the result was not apparent.

5. The pissing puns are childish. I do like "Ya Gotta Relieve!" but would love it in the context of a bullpen guy who comes in and bails the Mets out of a bases loaded jam.

They may be childish but at least the writer is trying. "Hammers & Thor" is just... completely mailed in. It undersells the story if anything.

[Benjamin Grimm]

d'Kong76 wrote: I often suffer from 'my one vote doesn't really count syndrome' but if the un-voted can muster up a couple more votes for Relieve I could en- vision myself changing my vote* for the Royals' urinal target cover. * -- provided that's allowed under the rules of Tabloid Cover Derby®

Yes, the poll does allow for voters to change their selections.

[Centerfield]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: 1. The Harvey cover is just spring training filler. There is no game, no great moment. Hammers celebrates a win. --Well this is a contest between 2 newspaper back covers, not necessarily the news inside of them. If you want to vote for what result you liked best you can go make that poll.

I don't think there is any specific criteria to voting on back covers that was dictated. I think the voter is free to vote on the cover itself, the underlying story, any memories it invokes, any subheadlines, and whatever other random criteria they see fit.

If not I have been voting wrong for a year plus.

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: 3. I agree with Edgy that pissing on the KC logo goes to a level that I'd rather avoid But without the KC logo it's not nearly as effective a statement, and would be even crueler since all it would do then is make fun of Harvey and not support him. Surely you guys aren't saying "Without the Royals logo this cover is great!"

No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying I don't like the cover for all the reasons that I stated. Even if you removed the KC logo I still wouldn't like it. I haven't really though about whether it would make it better or worse.

My thoughts are not really intended to sway anyone's opinion. I'm just responding to the statement that no one that voted for Hammers had voiced any justification. So I put my thoughts out there. Your mileage may vary.

For the record, I also think it's wrong to vote for someone who mocks a disabled reporter.

[Benjamin Grimm]

There is no specific criteria that needs to be applied when voting for a cover. It's just the one you "prefer", for whatever reason.

[Guest themetfairy]

I don't judge anyone else's vote. But a little over a year ago I wound up in the ER with a nasty UTI, so I simply don't find the subject funny.

[Guest cooby]

d'Kong76 wrote: I often suffer from 'my one vote doesn't really count syndrome' but if the un-voted can muster up a couple more votes for Relieve I could en- vision myself changing my vote* for the Royals' urinal target cover. * -- provided that's allowed under the rules of Tabloid Cover Derby®

I changed mine, after reading JCLs notes.
And I still don't get Hammers and Thor

[Benjamin Grimm]

HAMMERS & THOR means, I think, that the Mets won with a combination of hitting (bats = hammers) and Syndergaard's pitching.

[Lefty Specialist]

Well, I'm pissed. I thought Harvey would make more of a splash; guess you can't have your 'cake' and eat it too.

[Centerfield]

This thread is fun. In the absence of real baseball news, never underestimate the ability of CPF regulars to create a completely arbitrary and meaningless subject to argue, defend and otherwise obsess about.

Love it.

This matchup is fascinating. In one corner you have the Daily News, unapologetic, pissing on opponents, giving the middle finger to the wussy PC police. People love it or hate it. It's opposed by Newsday, with its boring cover, lame headline, being generally unlikeable. People shake their heads saying they "just don't get it" and wondering why Newsday couldn't put forth a better candidate.

It seems all too familiar.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Yees, I'm glad peps aren't taking my arguments on this too seriously, although I feel like this is probably the best cover in the contest so I'm making a honest stand.

Oh and fuck Donald Trump.

[Edgy MD]

"Ya Gotta Relieve" is winning if you discount the millions of people who voted illegally.