RIP Derek Jeter

[Lefty Specialist]

I love that the Yankees are locked into this death cycle of having to play Jeter at short every day and bat him second even though there are better lineup options. And it would be sweet if they missed the wild card by a game in doing so.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Apparently there is some confusion about when and how MFYs are retiring No. 2 -- as if someone would want to wear it after being stained by Jeets!

[Frayed Knot]

A sampling of headlines from the Daily News [u:n3288ndq]just from today[/u:n3288ndq]


HE'S SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST A BASEBALL PLAYER

JETER SHINES BRIGHTEST IN THE CONSTELLATION OF NY SPORTS STARS

CLASSY YANKEE CAPTAIN WAS OUR OWN JOE DiMAGGIO

SPORTS GREATS FROM YESTERDAY AND TODAY SHARE THEIR FAVORITE JETER MOMENTS

TEN JETER CAREER MOMENTS THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME

[Guest Trachsel My Tears]

HE'S SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST A BASEBALL PLAYER Yes, he's also a gigantic douchebag, and a dessert topping.

JETER SHINES BRIGHTEST IN THE CONSTELLATION OF NY SPORTS STARS Certainly, out of all the greatest athletes to have played in NYC, everyone agrees that Jeter was the best by far--why are we even discussing this settled topic, anyway?

CLASSY YANKEE CAPTAIN WAS OUR OWN JOE DiMAGGIO--And even those of us who lived during Dimaggio's career prefer Jeter to Joe, it's obvious. Joe couldn't hold his jock.

SPORTS GREATS FROM YESTERDAY AND TODAY SHARE THEIR FAVORITE JETER MOMENTS Wait--what about from the future? Surely, everyone born in the future will have Jeter's greatness instilled in them and they will firmly resist forming their own sports heroes because, after all, how could Jeter's greatness ever be topped, or even matched, or even approached, really? Eventually, we'll stop calling this planet "Earth" and simply rename it "Jeter."

TEN JETER CAREER MOMENTS THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME Ten? Are you crazy? Are you TRYING to insult Jeter by implying that only ten of his superhuman achievements, including winning the MVP award every single season he played PLUS winning Gold Gloves at all nine positions simultaneously every year as well, will last a lifetime? Ten? There are a hundred, a million, an infinite number of immortal career moments for Jeter, and anyone who thinks otherwise just isn't being objective about it.

[Edgy MD]

You neglect to mention the arbitrary drop-dead date of a "lifetime." As if the end of all our natural lives will stop this shower of shit that is the Jeter mythology machine.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Nice of the Yankees to summon their inner-intangibles on Derek Jeter Day and pull out a win for their walking legend.

Oh, wait. The Royals shut them out 2-0. Nevermind.

[Guest Trachsel My Tears]

Hmmm, I gave myself an idea for a science-fiction movie. The premise is that in about 1000 years time, we get invaded by a vastly superior species of aliens, who've figured out faster-than-light travel, have weapons up their yin-yangs (and they DO have yin-yangs, btw, BIG ones), but are here on a friendly exploratory mission to bring us benighted Earthlings--sorry, Jeterlings--the secret to immortality and peace, BUT:

one of these aliens happens to ask how our planet came to be called "Jeter," and to a man we rise up in fury at their ignorance of Derek the Great, and attempt to murder them for their colossal ignorance. All humans, naturally, are slaughtered by the confused but still vastly superior race of aliens, and the planet Jeter is left a heap of smouldering rubble. The final scene of the movie has the chief alien muttering to his second-in-command, "They seemed so pleasant at first--what do you suppose made them all snap like that?" The door to their space-ship closes, and --credits roll.

[G-Fafif]

Appropriate of Royals to RE2PECT the Captain by presenting MFYs with a 2-run loss.

[MFS62]

G-Fafif wrote: Appropriate of Royals to RE2PECT the Captain by presenting MFYs with a 2-run loss.

And, while he wasn't a direct participant, it was also appropriate that the runs were scored as a result of errors.
Call it the "Jeter factor".

Later

[Frayed Knot]

I would have liked to see some of the highlights from the other games today but I know if I turned on the 7:00 BB2N I would be inundated with Jeter-fest as if the other 14 games never occurred, so I boycotted.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

G-Fafif wrote: Appropriate of Royals to RE2PECT the Captain by presenting MFYs with a 2-run loss.

Bad ass!

[Guest d'Kong76]

I have a couple of fb friends that that are freakishly
in love with the fanfare of Jeter retirement.

[Guest Trachsel My Tears]

Between innings yesterday on FB, I was stamping out all sorts of trash-fires with Jeter-acolytes, who were all enflamed with rage yesterday that their guy wasn't getting the universal respect that he so obviously deserves. Killed about two hours of my day, but what else can you accomplish during commercials anyway?

[Frayed Knot]

Apparently the big news from yesterday's [crossout:3llbr01a]beatification[/crossout:3llbr01a] er, ceremony was that Andy Pettitte was a no-show.
How long do you suppose it is until all references to AP's existence on the Yanx is erased and he starts disappearing from old photos like some disgraced ex-Kremlin-ite?

[Lefty Specialist]

I heard Jeter visited a sick kid in a hospital yesterday and promised him that he'd hit a weak ground ball to third just for him. And he did. It's a miracle, I tells ya.

[Edgy MD]

Did the broadcast go off without commercial interruption?

[Frayed Knot]

Did the broadcast go off without commercial interruption?

The broadcast WAS a commercial interruption.
Every time I clicked over to the game and it was between innings (or, Hell, maybe it was between pitches) the ad running wasn't your normal sponsor's ad but rather one hawking Jeter-related memorabilia. Anything with a #2 stamped on it was being offered--BUT JUST FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!!!!

On a related note: Big article in the Sunday NYTimes sports section on Steiner Sports and his relationship w/the Yanx (which I haven't read yet).

[Ceetar]

Packed house over at YSIII..but not sold out.

[Edgy MD]

He took the field alone?

HE TOOK THE FIELD ALONE?!!

Will the Mets please promise me that they'll never do anything like this with David Wright or any future Met even if he has 3,000 hits, 600 homers, five championships, and saves the president's children?

I can't fathom how a fan --- or Jeter himself --- can see these over-manufactured moments as anything but distasteful and embarrassing.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Jeter clearly doesn't have an ounce of humility.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Take it for what it's worth but according to a MFY-Lovin Douchebag facebook pal of mine, Jeets has been seen at an exclusive gay club and may use his retirement to come out of the closet.

[Benjamin Grimm]

That would be THE BEST THING EVER!

[Guest Trachsel My Tears]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Take it for what it's worth but according to a MFY-Lovin Douchebag facebook pal of mine, Jeets has been seen at an exclusive gay club and may use his retirement to come out of the closet.

Not there's anything wrong with that, of course.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Course not!

Jeets has also said he wants kids so I think he'll go "beard" all the way.

[Ceetar]

A reporter dared to forget to silence her cellphone during the Jeter [crossout:12fjzbcg]train[/crossout:12fjzbcg]..press conference so of course he took it and answered it and hung up on her husband.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Last night I was watching the Mets 1973 highlight film -- part of that glorious boxed set -- and they got to the Willie Mays retirement ceremony part. I was struck by the contrast, and by how much more dignified Willie's farewell was.

I realize times change, and if a player of Willie's abilities -- of which Jeter is NOT -- retired today, there would be lots of hoopla.

But I think the whole farewell tour nonsense is out of control. Gifts at every ballpark, All-Star Games focused on one player ... it's becoming increasingly over-the-top to the point of absurdity. And is Jeter super-special, or will we start to see this for every potential Hall-of-Famer?

Or, is this a cautionary tale for great -- and classy -- players to not announce their retirement until the end of the season so they don't have to be embarrassed like this?

"Willie, say goodbye to America" was so much better.

(Steps off soapbox)

[Edgy MD]

First farewell tour I recall was for Dr. J.

[Guest Trachsel My Tears]

Mets Guy in Michigan wrote: Or, is this a cautionary tale for great -- and classy -- players to not announce their retirement until the end of the season so they don't have to be embarrassed like this?

Don't you get the impression that Jeter is eating this shit up with a spoon?

I mean, he could just nip this in the bud by refusing to participate in it at all, or simply "Ix-nay on the -eremony-cay, ok?" I see him all modest and bashful and shit, but when that Yankee-PR door shuts behind him, he's all, "No, no, no!! More! Bigger! Longer!"

[Guest d'Kong76]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Jeets has been seen at an exclusive gay club and may use his retirement to come out of the closet.

Now that would be a press conference for the ages!

[dgwphotography]

Trachsel My Tears wrote: Mets Guy in Michigan wrote: Or, is this a cautionary tale for great -- and classy -- players to not announce their retirement until the end of the season so they don't have to be embarrassed like this? Don't you get the impression that Jeter is eating this shit up with a spoon? I mean, he could just nip this in the bud by refusing to participate in it at all, or simply "Ix-nay on the -eremony-cay, ok?" I see him all modest and bashful and shit, but when that Yankee-PR door shuts behind him, he's all, "No, no, no!! More! Bigger! Longer!"

Jeter is this generation's DiMaggio, and I don't mean that as a complement. 20 years from now, I can see Jetes demanding to be the last introduced at every Yankee Stadium event, and as "The Greatest Living Ballplayer*".

*© MFY PR Machine.