Opening Day Baseball Movie 25 (Wo-)man Roster

[A Boy Named Seo]

Lot of un-athletic, fat guy depth at the catcher position and plenty of washed-up hangers-on in the rotation, but I think this lineup can compete.

[u:204wakwb]Catcher[/u:204wakwb]
Crash Davis
Jake Taylor
---
*Dottie Hinson
*Engleberg
*Hamilton "Ham" Porter
*Spike Nolan
*Gus Sinski

[u:204wakwb]First Base[/u:204wakwb]
Jack Elliott
Lou Collins
(Disappointed to open with Selleck and Timothy Busfield here, but think we can make it up at other positions. Might wanna give Dottie a 1b mitt [via Mike Piazza])

[u:204wakwb]Second Base[/u:204wakwb]
Marla Hooch

[u:204wakwb]Third Base[/u:204wakwb]
Roger Dorn

[u:204wakwb]Shortstop[/u:204wakwb]
Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez

[u:204wakwb]Leftfield[/u:204wakwb]
Kelly Leak
Scotty Smalls

[u:204wakwb]Centerfield[/u:204wakwb]
Willie "Mays" Hayes
"All the Way" May

[u:204wakwb]Rightfield[/u:204wakwb]
Roy Hobbs
Pedro Cerrano
---
*Ahmad Abdul-Rahm
*Timmy Lupus

[u:204wakwb]DH[/u:204wakwb]
Stan Ross

[u:204wakwb]Starters[/u:204wakwb]
Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh
Tanner Boyle
Henry Rowengartner
Kit Keller
Amanda Wurlitzer

[u:204wakwb]Bullpen[/u:204wakwb]
Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn (CL)
Billy Chapel
Chet "Rocket" Stedmon
Monty Brewster
Eddie Harris

[u:204wakwb]Coaching Staff[/u:204wakwb]
Lou Brown - Manager
Morris Buttermaker - 1B Coach
Jimmy Dugan - 3B Coach

[u:204wakwb]Announcer[/u:204wakwb]
Harry Doyle

*on the 40 (wo-)man roster, but not the Opening Day 25.

Edited April 1, 2013 by Guest

[Guest The Second Spitter]

I would pay serious $$$ to watch this team.

[Fman99]

I don't see how you leave Amanda Whurlitzer out of the starting rotation. She carried the Bad News Bears that year.

[A Boy Named Seo]

OK, OK, no need to yell at me. Wurlitzer in, I don't think we had a full rotation anyway.

[Edgy MD]

Yeah, Tanner's a shortstop.

[Guest The Second Spitter]

Need to find a spot for Walter "The Whammer" Whambold

[Edgy MD]

Yeah, if Crash is fictional enough, despite stealing his name from a real dude, then surely there's a place on the bench for Moonlight Graham.

[seawolf17]

Some web site posted one of these all-time fictional rosters a few weeks back that was pretty solid.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

"You leave me off your fuckin' bullpen roster just 'cause I'm in a TV show, not a motherfuckin' moo-vee? Well, I'm not giving up, asshole. A man fights, fights, and fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies. And my ass ain't no pussy. My ass is a fucking champion."



Also, are you SURE you wouldn't rather start the "Angels in the Outfield" angel in center or left?

Edited April 1, 2013 by Guest

[A Boy Named Seo]

HUGE oversight.

[Edgy MD]

You put that guy in the bullpen, you just know Betty Spaghetti will be taking a pregnancy leave shortly after.

[Guest The Second Spitter]

Edgy MD wrote: Yeah, if Crash is fictional enough, despite stealing his name from a real dude, then surely there's a place on the bench for Moonlight Graham.

You could probably make the same argument for the rhb Shoeless Joe.

[Edgy MD]

I know we have a surfeit of catchers, but a call out for Leon Carter, James Earl Jones' power hitting catcher with burning rage, the Bingo Long-universe version of Josh Gibson.

[Guest Swan Swan H]

Need a pitching coach? I'd choose Daniel Stern's Brickma from Rookie of the Year in a close call over Robert Wuhl's candlestick-loving Larry in Bull Durham.

I'd also add Henry "Author' Wiggen from Bang The Drum Slowly to the mound staff, and maybe his manager Dutch Schnell as bench coach.

[Edgy MD]

I'm not there. I like Daniel Stern and everything associated with Breaking Away, but Home Alone seemed to give Daniel Stern license to really go for it with his physical comedy efforts, and for five years there he really left behind some unwatchable wreckage while so overperforming. This, Bushwacked, Celtic Pride. Not recalled with fondness.

I think The Sandlot and Rookie of the Year get a lot more appreciation from folks who were appropriately young when these films came out. They don't work their magic on me. Maybe somebody who wasn't appropriately aged wouldn't think much of Bad News Bears. Not somebody who'd be welcome at my house, however.

As uncharitable as I may seem for Bull Durham, I'd go for Wuhl here. He was one of the best things. My wife picked it up before I did, but he has that pitching coach gait mastered, where he looks like he's jogging to the mound, but he's actually progressing at a slower rate than he would he was walking.