KTE: San Diego Padres May 24-27

[A Boy Named Seo]

I'll slam one out here right quick.

[Edgy MD]

What could be under that sheet? The mind boggles.

[Ceetar]

Edgy DC wrote: What could be under that sheet? The mind boggles.

it's a chicken.

definitely a chicken.

[Fman99]

A Boy Named Seo wrote: I'll slam one out here right quick.

You have no idea how often this phrase is used in the Fman household.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Thank God, 4 games against the Padres.

Don't get me wrong, the Mets are hanging in there. 2 out of 3 in Pittsburgh was nice (and needed after looking mostly crappy in Toronto), but they're 6-7 in the last couple weeks, and you have to go back to the beginning part of the month and the sweep in Philly to really remember them sort of kicking ass.

Queue the effing Friars (new, all-blue, boring 2k12 'Swinging Friar' logo below).



They enter with second worst record in the NL (16-29), the worst road record in the bigs (4-13), and are one of only 3 NL teams that have been outscored by a greater margin (-43) than our somehow still over .500 Mets (-29). And they limp into Shady Field having just had their asses swept away by the Cards three straight in St. Louie.

This is a wounded and wobbling and bloodied opponent that needs to be kicked on a little more, and a little harder.

The Lineup

Bad as their road record is, a few of these dudes (Venable and Headley, espesh) hit the ball decently away from big-ass Petco Park.

Will Venable - LF 6'2", bats L, throws L, toolsy bro.
Overall: .269/.338/.425 Road: .380/.436/.640



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Cameron Maybin - CF 6'3" bats R, throws R, handsome, slender, fast, lots of talent, off to a shitty start
Overall: .212/.309/.301 Road: .180/.227/.213 (.440!)



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Yonder Alonso - 1B 6'2" bats L, throws R, Cuban bro, tantalizing skills suppressed in part by the big home park
Overall: .300/.384/.413 Road: .304/.361/.411



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Jesus Guzman - LF 5'10" bats R, throws R, I don't know shit about this guy
Overall: .252/.331/.348 Road: .271/.357/.375



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Chase Headley - 3B 6'2" bats S, throws R, love it when Keith says, "Headleeeeeeey"
Overall: .245/.366/.413 Road: .255/.364/.527



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Nick Hundley - C 6'1" bats R, throws R, still not related to Todd
Overall: .171/.234/.268 Road: .289/.333/.422



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Alexi Amarista - 2B 5'8" bats L, throws R, names sounds like a delicious coffee liqueur
Overall: .174/.208/.261 Road: 0 for 9 so far



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Andy Parrino - SS 6'0" bats S, throws R, the pride of Brockport, NY and 3rd dude in a row batting under .200
Overall: .171/.276/.250 Road: .154/.267/.205
Bitch looks cocky, huh?




Pitching Matchups:

Today, 7:10PM
Eric Stultz (L) v. Jeremy Hefner


Hefner is apparently ours, I just learned something. Stultz was just claimed by the White Sox and pitched alright against the punchless Angels last start. I remember him from the Dodgers a while back. He's won't strike out many and will walk about 1 for every guy he does K, so I feel like we should have lots of bros on base all day. Fearless prediction: Mets 7 - Padres 5


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Friday, 7:10PM
Anthony Bass ® v. Dillon Gee

Bass seems a decent prospect and has gotten off to a good start, ERA under 3 and 51 K's in 53 innings. PitchFx tells me his average FB speed is 91.6, so he's not JR Richard or anything, but he doesn't walk a ton of dudes or give up lots of homers. Fan-graphy stats FIP (3.28), xFIP (3.20), and BAPIP (.273) seem to mostly support his thus-far goodliness. Despite shaving that stupid merkin off his face, I'm still sour on Gee. Fearless prediction: Padres 5 - Mets 3 :'-(

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Saturday, 1:10PM
Clayton Richard (L) v. Johan
Looks like a Clayton, this guy:


2 straight good starts (both 7 IP, 2 ER), but still pedestrian in every way and I feel like we're going to effing crush him & back Johan's play for a change. Mets 8 - Padres 2


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Sunday, 1:10PM
Edinson Volquez ® v. RAD


Volquez is having a year on-par (or maybe a little better) than his career norms in Cincy, but ultimately likes to wear do-rags under his cap, which will be his downfall. Mets again: 6-2

And the Mets are a hot baseball team again, just like that.


Bullpen:

They have one, and there are guys that pitch out of it. Pretty sure.


Bench:

Samesies.


Fashion Forecast:


Not sure if there's anything cool planned for the weekend, but if so we might could see the Pads wearing some brown & mustard and sporting something dope like this:





Otherwise we'll see them in this safe, boring shit:




... but will be spared the camo uni's, which are just worn at home. Nice gesture, pretty gross execution.




Anything to add, please add.

A Boy Named Seo OUT.

Edited May 24, 2012 by Guest

[metirish]

Good job

Cameron Maybin. he was going to be a superstar......

[Benjamin Grimm]

I hadn't seen this revived version before. It looks like it was drawn by a semi-talented 12-year-old. (I say that because it looks like something I might have drawn when I was 12.)

It is the same as the vintage logo, just without the color:




I must have missed this one:




Other versions of the Padres logo:

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

seven games in a row against last-place teams beginning tonight.

I'd feel better if Muffy weren't on the skids.

We need some homers.

That swing above looks like some of the t-ball kids.

[Edgy MD]

I'm starving for a few. And a greasy pile of doubles on the side, please.

[MFS62]

Great job.
I wonder if their mascot wears flip-flops like the Padre in the logo?

Later

[Benjamin Grimm]

I'm pretty sure that those flip-flops have metal spikes on the bottoms.

[soupcan]

I hadn't seen this revived version before. It looks like it was drawn by a semi-talented 12-year-old. (I say that because it looks like something I might have drawn when I was 12.) It is the same as the vintage logo, just without the color:

Tut-tut Grimmy, there is another difference besides the color...

[Benjamin Grimm]

Good catch! The Padres script is different.

[Edgy MD]

The cool thing is that the logo apparently predates the photo, so it's life imitating art.

[metirish]

That's a really great picture.


photo info

http://www.nydailynewspix.com/sales/largeview.php?name=N1987293.jpg&id=74923&lbx=-1&return_page=searchResults.php&page=0

[Frayed Knot]

The Padres' DL (making ours look tame by comparison - at least in terms of numbers):
- SS Jason Bartlett (knee)
- OF Kyle Blanks (shoulder - out for season)
- 3B Darnell James (shoulder)
- 2B Logan Forsythe (broken foot)
- LF Jeremy Hermida (hip flexor)
- OF Mark Kotsay (back)
- P Cory Luebke (TJ surgery - out for season)
- P Dustin Moseley (shoulder - out for season)
- P Micah Owings (shoulder)
- OF Carlos Quentin (knee)
- P Tim Stauffer (elbow)
- RP Huston Street (Lat muscle)
- P Joseph Wieland (elbow)

[Edgy MD]

A disabled firstbaseman would give them a well-rounded disabled roster. Wow.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

And that disabled roster would still be favored for last in the division.

Loogit that Friar. Fanny flying out all over the place.

[Fman99]

Wow, they have a lot of dopey looking white guys in their lineup. These are the guys that hazed Kevin Bacon in "Animal House," right?